12 yr old girls and sex

[Anonymous]

I was under the impression that by middle school kids were already doing oral on eachother.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was under the impression that by middle school kids were already doing oral on eachother.

A few are, the majority aren't. One of the ways that peer pressure influences is by thinking that everyone else is doing something, when in reality they aren't. Some kids just lie and say they do it and other kids go ahead and give in to the peer pressure to avoid being the 'only' one who isn't, when in reality very few kids are the ones actually doing the thing.

The ACHA college health survey is pretty fascinating in that way as to how many college students think other college students are drinking, drugging, having sex versus the number that actually are.

Alcohol
Never used – 21% Perceived to have never used 3.1%
Any use within last 30 days – 64.9% Perceived use within last 30 days 95.1%
Cigarettes
Never used – 68% Perceived to have never used 7%
Any use within last 30 days – 14.7% Perceived use within last 30 days 81.9%
Marijuana
Never used – 62% Perceived to have never used 7.4%
Any use within last 30 days – 17% Perceived use within last 30 days 83%
Using other drugs
Never used – 65% Perceived to have never used 8.6%
Any use within last 30 days – 13.9% Perceived use within last 30 days 77%

Sex - all college students
Never had sex 30%
Never done oral 28.5%
Never done anal 77.1%

[Anonymous]

That;s interesting about the college students- I wonder what the breakdown is if you track from entering to graduation though. I bet the overwhelming majority of that 30% of virgins are in their 1st or 2nd year.

She needs to know about STDs and pregnancy and risks of oral/anal for STDs. She probably cringes not just because of her innocence but because its 'gross' to think that your MOM knows all about this stuff- remember that age?

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

My parents has sex twice. Once for me and once for my sister.

Howver I'll never forget finding mom's diaphram drying on the bathroom counter

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:That;s interesting about the college students- I wonder what the breakdown is if you track from entering to graduation though. I bet the overwhelming majority of that 30% of virgins are in their 1st or 2nd year.

She needs to know about STDs and pregnancy and risks of oral/anal for STDs. She probably cringes not just because of her innocence but because its 'gross' to think that your MOM knows all about this stuff- remember that age?

You are probably right. I checked the executive report but they don't do the breakdown there. http://www.acha-ncha.org/docs/ACHA-NCHA-II_UNDERGRAD_ReferenceGroup_ExecutiveSummary_Spring2012.pdf

[Montana]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am 8:43. She needs a phone, at a minimum. And saying that, it can be a Pandora's Box of evils! Yes, it allows you to keep track of your kids, and to keep in contact(if they respond), but it also opens up a new world of risks.

No kid "needs" a phone, I'm sorry. Were that the case, none of us parents would have survived childhood / the tween and teen years without one. Ridiculous.

You are correct; no kids needs a phone. However, it is a very popular social tool now. Can your kid live without it? 100% yes. But will your kid miss out on various social things because of it? 100% yes. And then you will have a social outcast on your hands.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was under the impression that by middle school kids were already doing oral on eachother.

Some. Not all. Its almost always girl doing boy. Eighth graders.

[Anonymous]

Montana wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am 8:43. She needs a phone, at a minimum. And saying that, it can be a Pandora's Box of evils! Yes, it allows you to keep track of your kids, and to keep in contact(if they respond), but it also opens up a new world of risks.

No kid "needs" a phone, I'm sorry. Were that the case, none of us parents would have survived childhood / the tween and teen years without one. Ridiculous.

You are correct; no kids needs a phone. However, it is a very popular social tool now. Can your kid live without it? 100% yes. But will your kid miss out on various social things because of it? 100% yes. And then you will have a social outcast on your hands.

Like sexting and cyberbullying and that kind of thing? No thanks. And no, my kids aren't social outcasts as they are involved in lots of REAL activities that require ACTUAL face-to-face communication, such as sports, music, etc. But nice try attempting to appeal to a "need for cool" which my family doesn't have. Enjoy your little social lemmings.

[Anonymous]

You need to have some serious talks with your 12 year old. I recall some friends having sex at 12 when I was that age; I got into some pretty racy situations with 16 year olds myself. And this was upper middle class suburbia, back in the day (I'm 44). Try and remember how old (and ready for fun) you felt at the time! I had my first drink (and more!) at that age too . . . and I was a "good" girl, folks. Top of my middle/high school class, great college, grad school, blah blah.

Any way - my point is - kids are doing it, so might as well TRY and blunt the worst effects (these days, that being sexting, other, egad - thank god that didn't exist when I was that age!).

[Anonymous]

I would say that yes, now is the time to teach your daughter. In addition to stds and safe sex, teach your daughter about how to satisfy and explore her body without involving another person. Let her know that she has options other than intercourse.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Montana wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi OP. I am 8:43. She needs a phone, at a minimum. And saying that, it can be a Pandora's Box of evils! Yes, it allows you to keep track of your kids, and to keep in contact(if they respond), but it also opens up a new world of risks.

No kid "needs" a phone, I'm sorry. Were that the case, none of us parents would have survived childhood / the tween and teen years without one. Ridiculous.

You are correct; no kids needs a phone. However, it is a very popular social tool now. Can your kid live without it? 100% yes. But will your kid miss out on various social things because of it? 100% yes. And then you will have a social outcast on your hands.

Like sexting and cyberbullying and that kind of thing? No thanks. And no, my kids aren't social outcasts as they are involved in lots of REAL activities that require ACTUAL face-to-face communication, such as sports, music, etc. But nice try attempting to appeal to a "need for cool" which my family doesn't have. Enjoy your little social lemmings.

I like you, and share your attitude.

[Anonymous]

For those headed to the teen years, I *highly* recommend two resources: http://www.scarleteen.com/ and
Rookie Magazine: http://rookiemag.com/category/sex-love/

In particular, I thought this was outstanding: http://rookiemag.com/2013/01/the-invention-of-sex/

[Anonymous]

After reading this I just check my 11 yo DS iPod. No porn but man is he obsessed with WWE.

Don't freak us all out!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For those headed to the teen years, I *highly* recommend two resources: http://www.scarleteen.com/ and
Rookie Magazine: http://rookiemag.com/category/sex-love/

In particular, I thought this was outstanding: http://rookiemag.com/2013/01/the-invention-of-sex/

While those sites are informative they make it seem like all teens are having sex and involved in all kinds of sexual activity. While some teens are, I think it sends the wrong message to kids who aren't ready, want to wait or haven't met someone that there is something wrong with them. I wish there was more of a focus on its okay to not be having sex at 14,15 or 16. That you are perfectly normal and healthy if you aren't having sex, that not everyone is having sex.

[ThatSmileyFaceGuy]

Anonymous wrote:After reading this I just check my 11 yo DS iPod. No porn but man is he obsessed with WWE.

Don't freak us all out!

Yes but at least you checked and have currently set your mind at ease. Keep checking now and then however. Also keep an eye on what he is watcing on WWE some of those "valets" and female wrestlers do bikini and lingerie spreads that get posted as well.