smart, bored 2nd grader, can't afford private, what to do?

[Anonymous]

What I don't get is why most people ASSUME private education is better than public. There isn't much proof. They may be more sheltered though.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter definitely needs to be checked for ADHD. My husband and son both have it and they can hyperfocus on something that interests them.

And as crazy as some rules (like writing down how you solved a math problem) may sound, your daughter will have to learn to follow them if she is going to ever be successful in school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter definitely needs to be checked for ADHD. My husband and son both have it and they can hyperfocus on something that interests them.

And as crazy as some rules (like writing down how you solved a math problem) may sound, your daughter will have to learn to follow them if she is going to ever be successful in school.

OP here. My child does NOT have adhd. She does not hyperfocus on anything. The armchair diagnoses on this thread amaze me!

I had a chat with my dd's teacher this morning, and she agreed that dd is bored, and lamented the loss of gifted programs at the school. She agreed that dd can read an interesting book as soon as she trudges through the required tasks. And, sadly, she agreed that this solution is the best she can do for dd, since she's not allowed to group kids by ability or allow them to do anything different than the other kids are doing!! How stupid is that??

In the end, I left feeling really badly for my dd's teacher (and for all teachers who are stuck with these inane curriculums at public schools). DD's teacher is trying to do her best, but she's forced to teach what she's been given by the school, like it or not. This one size fits all education fits no one. And the teaching to the test has so little to do with educating the individual child, teaching her to think, offering her a variety of views of the world, inviting exploration and questioning -- all things a good education ought to be doing, especially in second grade while young minds are still developing.

Private schools are not all better, but at least they are not tied to this testing and these top-down directives that are ruining public schools. We looked at some private schools, but our current financial picture precludes private. The ones we looked at had a lot of innovation in their curriculums, and gave kids a lot more individual attention and choice. I don't like the exclusivity of some private schools, but for my child, a good private school would be a lot better than the unsatisfactory public she's in now.

[Anonymous]

No one is diagnosing your DD other than you who is diagnosing her as not having ADHD. Are you a psychologist or developmental pediatrician? Everyone is telling you to get it checked out. According to you all your DD's behavior issues are due to an inadequate curriculum and the fact that your daughter is gifted and bored. Well, she needs to follow classroom rules like everyone else and you making excuses for her does not help her at all. Get her checked out for ADHD, the worse it can be is that either she does have it and you can get her help or you will find out her IQ and that her behaviors only come from being bored.

[Anonymous]

+1 OP, I think what posters are saying is that you really need to have your child evaluated whether that be in the system, if you school will do it, or pay for it to be done outside (I posted this on the first page). You really don't know what you are dealing with until you have had some testing done. Truly. There a thousand variables here which could include ADHD, ASD, dyslexia, idiot-savant syndrome, etc. The teacher is not allowed to diagnosis. Obviously, we posters cannot diagnosis.

I have seen up close and personal now four cases of ADHD or ASD and each case is different. I was somewhat like your child when I was young and the pre-school teachers complained that I could read and that would tax the public school teachers, so my mom took my books away. Only later (when my mom was at wit's end) was I tested and they learned I had a very very high I.Q. I truly was bored in class. And a relative graduated from Yale with honors but clearly now as an adult is realizing he has ASD. I had my DS tested four times (for ADHD) from 3rd grade up and it was only on the last, most exhaustive and most expensive testing did I have the "ah hah" experience when the psychiatrist told me it was Asperger's (this was some time ago - now it's "on the spectrum). I knew what it was but my husband didn't. But even then I fought it saying "but he has normal eye contact control" and the psychiatrist told me he didn't - I was too close to her to see it. Psych was right. Mom (me) was wrong.

Once we knew what we were dealing with is was MUCH easier to get DS the proper help in public schools, the IEP, the lesson plans, and the books to figure out how to raise kids with ASD. Only now - some 15 years later - am I learning that our inability to teach our son toilet training was due to ASD. And his digestive issues (megacolon, fecalomas) was due to ASD. I had to point BOTH out to the pediatrician because he was not trained in ASD. So the sooner you learn "what's up" with your kid, the better advocate and parent you can be.

[Anonymous]

P.S. Re OP last post and the line about private versus public. Your assumption about private really depends on where you live. Our public system has a far better program for gifted kids post-third grade, and the offerings at the high school level through the AP system are astonishing. You can clear a lot of college-level classes out of the way through the AP system in the proper high school. A lot of privates don't offer that; their teachers aren't trained in differential learning; the oddball child may be ostracized instead of encouraged. If your child is truly gifted, you can't immediately assume private is better. Some may be. Others are "lock-step" and provide no take out gifted program. You will have to research that thoroughly. But first, get your child thoroughly tested so you really know what is happening in the brain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter definitely needs to be checked for ADHD. My husband and son both have it and they can hyperfocus on something that interests them.

And as crazy as some rules (like writing down how you solved a math problem) may sound, your daughter will have to learn to follow them if she is going to ever be successful in school.

OP here. My child does NOT have adhd. She does not hyperfocus on anything. The armchair diagnoses on this thread amaze me!

I had a chat with my dd's teacher this morning, and she agreed that dd is bored, and lamented the loss of gifted programs at the school. She agreed that dd can read an interesting book as soon as she trudges through the required tasks. And, sadly, she agreed that this solution is the best she can do for dd, since she's not allowed to group kids by ability or allow them to do anything different than the other kids are doing!! How stupid is that??

In the end, I left feeling really badly for my dd's teacher (and for all teachers who are stuck with these inane curriculums at public schools). DD's teacher is trying to do her best, but she's forced to teach what she's been given by the school, like it or not. This one size fits all education fits no one. And the teaching to the test has so little to do with educating the individual child, teaching her to think, offering her a variety of views of the world, inviting exploration and questioning -- all things a good education ought to be doing, especially in second grade while young minds are still developing.

Private schools are not all better, but at least they are not tied to this testing and these top-down directives that are ruining public schools. We looked at some private schools, but our current financial picture precludes private. The ones we looked at had a lot of innovation in their curriculums, and gave kids a lot more individual attention and choice. I don't like the exclusivity of some private schools, but for my child, a good private school would be a lot better than the unsatisfactory public she's in now.

I don't think this is an "armchair" diagnosis or really any other diagnosis. Rather, it's an opinion that you should have your DD evaluated. Frankly, your unwillingness to consider any option other than your DD is a genius concerns me more than anything else in your posts. Have her tested, then go from there.

[Anonymous]

I have friends with a daughter who sounds a lot like yours. She has an IEP so that she can get pull-outs for advanced work. It is not an ideal situation in any way but it has made school fun and engaging for her when it otherwise would be dreadful. If I were in your situation, in a county without a gifted program, I would have her tested and try to get the school to meet her needs with her an IEP. If this does not work, I would definitely homeschool.

For what it's worth, my son also sounds a lot like yours and he is gifted AND has adhd. He is a very advanced reader and even more skilled in math. He is not disruptive or especially active. But the tedious work is unbelievably hard for him--he loses focus immediately. It is truly harder for him to engage in the drudgery than it is for other kids and this is one of the ways he shows the adhd--it is not about how these kids focus on their interests, it is how they focus on what does not interest them. Fortunately we live in a district that can provide advanced academics and supports.

[Anonymous]

Lots of kids say they are bored at school, but that doesn't mean they are gifted and not being challenged. Let her write about what she is interested in instead of what is being taught? Are you kidding me???? If your kid can't do what's being asked of her and if she has ANY behavioral problems in class, then maybe she does have ADHD and isn't simply bored.

[Anonymous]

Ugh. Even if your child is Albert Einstein, she still needs to follow rules and complete assignments. I'm sure the teacher's assignments are not "dullsville."

[Anonymous]

I'm a teacher, and any teacher who gives a reason for doing things a certain way, "It's for the standardized test," sucks, unless it's literally practice for the test. There's test preparation and then there's real learning and inspired teaching -- intelligent teachers know the difference.

This sounds dead-on like a bored 2nd grader being taught by an unimaginative, worksheet-style type of teacher. Don't let people diagnose her with anything unless and until she's at least had time in a productive, differentiated learning environment. Most behavior and learning problems can be solved by engaging the child differently and in a more effective way. I hope you can get her moved. Good luck.

[Anonymous]

Sorry you haven't found a little flexibility in the class. Hope that your DD gets time to do some group work that will help her grow age appropriate interactive skills (not saying she doesn't have them, only that she should have the same opportunity for growth that being in a class provides) and that she gets some independent work. When I was in elementary school I read through alot of classes and was sure I was subtle enough for the teachers not to notice. After I became a teacher I realized--with some very late embarrassment-- that they knew perfectly well I was reading, and let me. Maybe you can ask for guidance from the counselor, which could force the teacher's hand in terms of some alternatives?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her child can't even do math a year ahead of her grade and can only read one year ahead. I'd hardly say she was overly gifted.

She said her kid read the Lightning Thief in two hours. That book is an ending 4th grade level book and her kid is at the beginning of second grade. So she is at least two grade levels above in reading.

NP here: that's not extraordinarily gifted. I was reading 19th century classics in the 2nd grade - very good comprehension and a high rate of speed - and, while bright, I was certainly not a standout.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Your daughter definitely needs to be checked for ADHD. My husband and son both have it and they can hyperfocus on something that interests them.

And as crazy as some rules (like writing down how you solved a math problem) may sound, your daughter will have to learn to follow them if she is going to ever be successful in school.

OP here. My child does NOT have adhd. She does not hyperfocus on anything. The armchair diagnoses on this thread amaze me!

I had a chat with my dd's teacher this morning, and she agreed that dd is bored, and lamented the loss of gifted programs at the school. She agreed that dd can read an interesting book as soon as she trudges through the required tasks. And, sadly, she agreed that this solution is the best she can do for dd, since she's not allowed to group kids by ability or allow them to do anything different than the other kids are doing!! How stupid is that??

In the end, I left feeling really badly for my dd's teacher (and for all teachers who are stuck with these inane curriculums at public schools). DD's teacher is trying to do her best, but she's forced to teach what she's been given by the school, like it or not. This one size fits all education fits no one. And the teaching to the test has so little to do with educating the individual child, teaching her to think, offering her a variety of views of the world, inviting exploration and questioning -- all things a good education ought to be doing, especially in second grade while young minds are still developing.

Private schools are not all better, but at least they are not tied to this testing and these top-down directives that are ruining public schools. We looked at some private schools, but our current financial picture precludes private. The ones we looked at had a lot of innovation in their curriculums, and gave kids a lot more individual attention and choice. I don't like the exclusivity of some private schools, but for my child, a good private school would be a lot better than the unsatisfactory public she's in now.

OP, you've hit the nail on the head. Public school teachers are so constrained by the curriculum now, and the students are suffering as a result. I started teaching at the university level several years ago and am troubled by what I see in the classrooms. At the beginning of the semester, first-year students panic at extremely simple assignments. That's not hyperbole, by the way, they become very scared! The issue isn't their intelligence and willingness to work hard - it's the K-12 curriculum. Students are used to structured assignments focusing on extremely narrow topics, for which they are provided with various models of what their outcome is supposed to look like.

It's a delicate process, scaffolding their learning so that within a few months they're producing creative and sophisticated college-level research. By semester's end, they're so proud of what they've accomplished. I'm happy and pleased, too, but, like many of my colleagues, an very worried for them and the future of our workforce. I only have one semester to fix 13 years of a terribly flawed curriculum. K-12 teachers are as dedicated and hardworking as they ever were, but they are far more limited now in what they're allowed to accomplish in the classroom.

[Anonymous]

We were getting pushed to get our K son an ADHD diagnosis for similar boredom-induced behavior. ADHD didn't seem like the right answer but we considered it. We also had him evaluated for giftedness. He tested as highly to profoundly gifted. Changed circumstances --> changed behavior. No more "ADHD symptoms" with challenging work.

ADHD should be a diagnosis of last resort, not the first thing you think of. Way too much "it's ADHD!" happening when there are other factors at work.