smart, bored 2nd grader, can't afford private, what to do?

[Anonymous]

Some of this is inexcusable. Children should be able to follow directions and show their work if asked and listen to lessons even if they know them. They can't do something else. Parents should teach children to respect authority regardless. In the local schools here though, children can take out a book to read when they are done with class work. It really doesn't sound like your child is all that advanced compared to many in the DC area, but if she's bored and there's no fix you could consider homeschooling. It's very popular now and cheap with so many shared and free resources. By 3rd grade school isn't so much about socializing anymore and maybe you could find a homeschooling group where she could make new friends and keep her in activities afterschool with friends.

[Anonymous]

Op - I think you are being unreasonable. Yes, teachers constantly have to differentiate instruction and she should be willing to do so. But you do need to understand that there are certain requirements and curriculum components she needs to reach. So, no - your dd cannot just do what she wants.

There are ways to "level up" the content for your dd. But it's a fact she won't constantly be enchanted in school. It's part of learning that she doesn't always get to do what she wants. She needs to follow the rules of the classroom - don't coddle her on that point.

~ former teacher

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:we are stuck with our public school. can't afford to move (dh lost his job) can't go private. teacher complains all the time that dd doesn't pay attention, is always talking with neighbors, not focusing on the (boring!!) lessons, etc. she implied that dd has adhd until I pointed out that dd read The Lightening Thief in two hours straight, sitting right next to me. then she grudgingly agreed that dd reads and comprehends at the highest level she tests for, and "maybe even higher"

I've suggested she let dd write about things dd is interested in instead of writing about the dullsville, unimaginative topics she suggests, but she said, no, it would be "too hard for me to grade if your dd wrote about something different than everyone else does"!!

our district offers no gifted program for elementary, so dd is stuck in this boring boring boring classroom all day long!! I don't know what to do. i offer lots of interesting things to do at home, but feel helpless about protecting dd from this daily misery. dd is not a genius or anything, just a smart, bored kid.

Oh, and when I suggest other things, like letting dd read interesting books instead of listening to the lessons about things dd's read already (dd's an extremely fast reader), dd's teacher told me that she can't allow that!!

any suggestions? anyone dealt successfully with a similar situation? i'd send dd to private in a second if we had the money. it's torture to send my child to school every day.

Oh, and of course she can't allow that. That's ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we are stuck with our public school. can't afford to move (dh lost his job) can't go private. teacher complains all the time that dd doesn't pay attention, is always talking with neighbors, not focusing on the (boring!!) lessons, etc. she implied that dd has adhd until I pointed out that dd read The Lightening Thief in two hours straight, sitting right next to me. then she grudgingly agreed that dd reads and comprehends at the highest level she tests for, and "maybe even higher"

I've suggested she let dd write about things dd is interested in instead of writing about the dullsville, unimaginative topics she suggests, but she said, no, it would be "too hard for me to grade if your dd wrote about something different than everyone else does"!!

our district offers no gifted program for elementary, so dd is stuck in this boring boring boring classroom all day long!! I don't know what to do. i offer lots of interesting things to do at home, but feel helpless about protecting dd from this daily misery. dd is not a genius or anything, just a smart, bored kid.

Oh, and when I suggest other things, like letting dd read interesting books instead of listening to the lessons about things dd's read already (dd's an extremely fast reader), dd's teacher told me that she can't allow that!!

any suggestions? anyone dealt successfully with a similar situation? i'd send dd to private in a second if we had the money. it's torture to send my child to school every day.

Oh, and of course she can't allow that. That's ridiculous.

Correct

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:we are stuck with our public school. can't afford to move (dh lost his job) can't go private. teacher complains all the time that dd doesn't pay attention, is always talking with neighbors, not focusing on the (boring!!) lessons, etc. she implied that dd has adhd until I pointed out that dd read The Lightening Thief in two hours straight, sitting right next to me. then she grudgingly agreed that dd reads and comprehends at the highest level she tests for, and "maybe even higher"

I've suggested she let dd write about things dd is interested in instead of writing about the dullsville, unimaginative topics she suggests, but she said, no, it would be "too hard for me to grade if your dd wrote about something different than everyone else does"!!

our district offers no gifted program for elementary, so dd is stuck in this boring boring boring classroom all day long!! I don't know what to do. i offer lots of interesting things to do at home, but feel helpless about protecting dd from this daily misery. dd is not a genius or anything, just a smart, bored kid.

Oh, and when I suggest other things, like letting dd read interesting books instead of listening to the lessons about things dd's read already (dd's an extremely fast reader), dd's teacher told me that she can't allow that!!

any suggestions? anyone dealt successfully with a similar situation? i'd send dd to private in a second if we had the money. it's torture to send my child to school every day.

Your DD has ADHD. She isn't bored. Get her evaluated.

I am adult and have it and I can and have sat for 6 hours straight reading a book that I really like. The ability to hyper focus on something a person really likes is one of the traits of ADHD.

This. Get your daughter evaluated. I know plenty of people, almost all lawyers with ADHD. The ability to read a book never mind mountains of boring stuff does not rule out ADHD. Everything you describe about your DD screams ADHD not boredom.

[Anonymous]

I read a book in my lap pretty much each day from 2nd to 5th grade. Didn't act up, teachers let it go. Was a game for me to look up from the book when the teacher called on me and throw out a correct or nearly correct answer. So to me your situation SCREAMS bored highly capable student. Don't focus on "following the rules" as you need to aim for results and the "rules" are not likely designed for your child.

Do have your child tested/evaluated. School should do this for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw, OP, school is boring for lots of kids, but that doesn't necessarily mean your child is gifted. She may be, but don't jump from the determination that your child is bored to the assumption that she's just too smart for the class. Secondly, the issue of showing the work for math is hardly an outrage - that was the requirement when I was a kid and it's still a requirement for my 3rd grader. Finally, you are quick to diagnose your child as NOT having ADHD, and I"m not in a position to contradict you -- but note that there is a variant of ADHD where the issue is inability to concentrate (I believe it's called ADHD/inattentive.) Kids with this type of ADHD can focus on some solo activities but have difficulties in group settings. I mention this because when I've posted on these boards about my child's struggles, others have suggested that as a possibility. Just something to consider.

This. It sounds like you're excusing a lot of behavior from your DD that would not be acceptable to me, bored or not. Even gifted kids need to be respectful. I have a feeling if you emphasized that more than how special your snowflake is and how much special treatment she needs, she might behave better and thus she would stand out more as a smart or gifted child rather than just a pain in the a$$. Not necessarily fair or ideal but such is life.

[Anonymous]

Do you work? I would really look into homeschooling. I am a school psychologist and see kids like your dd all the time. Academically advanced kids in low performing schools really suffer. There aren't enough of them for a teacher to form a group to differentiate instruction. If your daughter is never challenged she will never learn how to work hard when she is finally given work at her level in honors classes in middle school and high school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you work? I would really look into homeschooling. I am a school psychologist and see kids like your dd all the time. Academically advanced kids in low performing schools really suffer. There aren't enough of them for a teacher to form a group to differentiate instruction. If your daughter is never challenged she will never learn how to work hard when she is finally given work at her level in honors classes in middle school and high school.

NP, but thank you. Thank you.

I was the same and it does violence to a child's agency to be held back and down - not just sometimes, but all of the time. In the real world, if you navigate well, you end up working with colleagues of similar ability. "Learning" at the same speed regardless of ability is torture for the kid and a gross systemic oversight.

OP - don't listen to the chorus of average-at-best. Can you homeschool? Is there a voucher program? Have you really investigated financial aid?

[Anonymous]

Her child can't even do math a year ahead of her grade and can only read one year ahead. I'd hardly say she was overly gifted.

[Anonymous]

Assuming the kid is not ADHA, and attending private is not an option. I have a strategy working very well for my family so far.

DD is currently in the MCPS highly gifted program. Before entering the program, she was in the regular class, bored, but able to follow the flow and complete class work and home work at school before coming home. She attends private English and Math classes on Saturdays. Those private classes keep her challenged and interested in the subjects. Good amount of home work too. She is currently in 5th grade, aces 7th+8th grade math at GT program, taking 9th grade Algebra on the side. By the result of her mid term report card from the private class, she will be able to take 10th grade Geometry in Spring.

Using this strategy, the student has a perfect academic record, AND well prepared to take entrance exams for GT/Magnet/IB.

I understand it puts pressure financially to send kids to private classes. Since your child is still young. You may give her Saturday homeschooling. Gifted children need to be taught to follow the flow, blend in, and at the same time, excel in their own ways.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her child can't even do math a year ahead of her grade and can only read one year ahead. I'd hardly say she was overly gifted.

She said her kid read the Lightning Thief in two hours. That book is an ending 4th grade level book and her kid is at the beginning of second grade. So she is at least two grade levels above in reading.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I read a book in my lap pretty much each day from 2nd to 5th grade. Didn't act up, teachers let it go. Was a game for me to look up from the book when the teacher called on me and throw out a correct or nearly correct answer. So to me your situation SCREAMS bored highly capable student. Don't focus on "following the rules" as you need to aim for results and the "rules" are not likely designed for your child.

Do have your child tested/evaluated. School should do this for you.

I read a book on my lap, too, and then I ended up skipping 4th grade.

My DD also now brings in books and reads every chance she gets. She also pays attention to the teacher and follows class rules. I tell my kids that there is always something to do, even when they find a lesson repetitive or boring. They could be planning out a math game in their head or thinking up ideas for a new story to write.

[Anonymous]

Talk with the principal. Don't give up until you get what you need for your child-- including a different teacher in the school. There are plenty of kids who are bored in school because they finish the work so quickly who are given supplemental and more advanced assignments to keep them engaged.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fwiw, OP, school is boring for lots of kids, but that doesn't necessarily mean your child is gifted. She may be, but don't jump from the determination that your child is bored to the assumption that she's just too smart for the class. Secondly, the issue of showing the work for math is hardly an outrage - that was the requirement when I was a kid and it's still a requirement for my 3rd grader. Finally, you are quick to diagnose your child as NOT having ADHD, and I"m not in a position to contradict you -- but note that there is a variant of ADHD where the issue is inability to concentrate (I believe it's called ADHD/inattentive.) Kids with this type of ADHD can focus on some solo activities but have difficulties in group settings. I mention this because when I've posted on these boards about my child's struggles, others have suggested that as a possibility. Just something to consider.

This. It sounds like you're excusing a lot of behavior from your DD that would not be acceptable to me, bored or not. Even gifted kids need to be respectful. I have a feeling if you emphasized that more than how special your snowflake is and how much special treatment she needs, she might behave better and thus she would stand out more as a smart or gifted child rather than just a pain in the a$$. Not necessarily fair or ideal but such is life.

+2. Gifted kids generally do well academically and behaviorally in the classroom. If she cannot control herself and behave appropriately, see if there is a medical issue like ADHD and then work from there.