Anyone else want more kids but cannot afford them?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

Wow, 250K and you feel strapped!?

Sure, I know daycare, mortgages, and DC metro. living isn't cheap, but my goodness...I'm waiting for the day that we have a 6 figure paycheck to balk at.

I always wonder when people post about making it on a less than six-figure income around here, exactly how they are doing that? Do they just live really far away, or if closer in, are they in an undesirable neighborhood? As someone who bought their first home in the area in the past year, I don't know how anyone not banking six figures can afford to buy a sfh around here. It seems to me what most people would find minimally acceptable in terms of house/neighborhood starts at $450k in this area.



There are MANY people in this city who live on WAY less. And I dare to imagine they are happy.

FWIW, OP, I can't imagine having more than 2 kids (only have one now, but planning for a second) - we definitely couldn't afford some of the middle-class basics (or maybe they're upper middle class? i dunno) if we added a third kid to the mix, and I'm less willing to compromise my family's living standard than I am wanting to add to its size. So I guess in the end, it's that I don't want another kid badly enough.

[Anonymous]

I meant to make this a separate post (still figuring out how this thing works...)....

There are MANY people in this city who live on WAY less. And I dare to say we are happy.

[Anonymous]

I don't think I really knew any "only children" where I grew up. I think it's definitely an urban thing. Lots of older parents, smaller homes, etc. etc. Interesting!

I don't think so. I'm the happy only child that posted earlier. I grew up in a small town in the south, and I knew enough other only children that I never felt weird or unusual. I do think there is some regional difference in size of families (like, maybe if you grew up in a large Catholic area -- which I didn't -- there would be larger families in general?), but only children definitely aren't strictly an urban situation.

[Anonymous]

We have one infant and had totally planned on having a second. It would have been tight, but we would have made the sacrifices to make it work. Unfortunately, due to complications, we can't have a second without surrogacy or adoption....both of which would put us into debt and there would be little left over for daycare, ect... This wouldn't be fair to our current DD or a second child. It breaks my heart that she will be an only child.

[Anonymous]

My husband and I have been discussing a second child just this evening, and how when we were growing up we knew hardly any only children. And I also grew up in a small town in the South. Perhaps it's less an urban phenomenon than a contemporary one.

[Anonymous]

If anyone does it on 150k living near the city, please enlighten me.

Timing. We live on ~160K, I SAH, we have one child, and we're done. Things do often feel tight. But the way we are able to pull this off is that we bought the house of our dreams in NW DC -- in 1999. Later we refinanced to an historically low mortgage rate (in 2004 I think).

If we were starting our home search today, from scratch, we could never afford our current home/mortgage payment on $160K a year -- our current assessed home value is 8 times our household income, and banks tend to frown on those ratios, if someone would be dumb enough to even try it.

(I'm reading this thread because sometimes I think about a 2nd child, but cost would be a big barrier. But it's not the deciding factor)

[Anonymous]

I want to chime in that we have 4 children and have no regrets. We both work and certainly have made choices to minimze other expenses. Our lives are far from perfect and I absolutely wonder if I can give each of them all the attention they need, but in this way too short life, I am thankful to be blessed with a wonderful family.

[Anonymous]

We also live on $160 but I SAH. That's a big difference because there are no nanny/daycare expenses. Having a second/third child doesn't add that much money to the equation until you start talking about college, etc. and although we are saving for college now, I also plan to go back to work eventually and hopefully my salary can more than pay for whatever outrageous amount tuition is by then.

Side note: I just read in Newsweek that tuition at Brown is $48K/year! I hope my kids can go to good public schools, but still!!