Anyone else want more kids but cannot afford them?

[Anonymous]

Sigh...just a rant...we have 2 and both work and barely make ends meet. We love our children and would love a 3rd..but there is NO WAY we could afford it. - Just complaining...sad.

If we moved farther out, the commute would be too far for our jobs - our house is already ridiculously small so moving really isnt an option.

anyhow...i guess i am just looking for sympathy or to vent.
thanks !

[Anonymous]

yeah, we just have one. i would have ten, if we were rich. we are actually doing quite well, but i don't want to be in a position where we are just making ends meet. i like having savings, and thinking i can give my son whatever he needs/wants (though we won't spoil him b/c we are both big into saving/investing). so, my son will be an "only" because it makes sense to us financially (and b/c we are a bit on the older side and would like to retire one day).

[Anonymous]

We have 1 and another on the way. I also feel like we might consider having more if we could afford it, but in order to live within our means we plan to stop after this baby. We always knew we would want at least 2 and we will find a way to make it work, but 3 would really put us over the edge financially. I was an only child for almost 13 years, but I had several cousins close in age that lived near by. Since we don't live near any relatives it broke my heart to think of our DD without siblings.

[Anonymous]

We just had our third and I'd love to consider another. We make it work. We eat out very rarely, have used cars, buy things on sale and don't spend foolishly. You can afford it if you want to afford it. If daycare is too expensive, wait until one child starts school full time (assuming your child is in public school, not private). There are ways to make it work. I'd rather have one more little person around me than have a brand new car but I'm not like all people.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We just had our third and I'd love to consider another. We make it work. We eat out very rarely, have used cars, buy things on sale and don't spend foolishly. You can afford it if you want to afford it. If daycare is too expensive, wait until one child starts school full time (assuming your child is in public school, not private). There are ways to make it work. I'd rather have one more little person around me than have a brand new car but I'm not like all people.

You are a special person. Really.

[Anonymous]

We have 1 and are trying for #2, but both of us would love 3. We both work in professions we love, and our salaries would be considered decent in about 90% of the country but make us feel poor as churchmice here. Hubby just got a grade increase, and once he puts in his year at that level, he's gonna start looking elsewhere. We'll be outta here! Would rather let our desires and values dictate where we live than let where we live dictate what we want for our family.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote: We just had our third and I'd love to consider another. We make it work. We eat out very rarely, have used cars, buy things on sale and don't spend foolishly. You can afford it if you want to afford it. If daycare is too expensive, wait until one child starts school full time (assuming your child is in public school, not private). There are ways to make it work. I'd rather have one more little person around me than have a brand new car but I'm not like all people.

Ignore PP. I appreciate your post. I don't live as frugally as you do, which is probably why I'm worrying about the cost of child #3!

[Anonymous]

Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

[Anonymous]

I think the impediment is not the desire for a new car, but a home that can fit all the kids. So many houses in this area have very small bedrooms, and putting two kids in one of those tiny rooms is certainly doable, but it's kind of rough when the kids have nowhere to play.

And on a car specifically - I know I'm going to have to get a different car once we go from 2 to 3 kids. Just can't fit three kids in carseats in the backseat of my VW!! I don't need a fancy car, but I need one that will fit three carseats or two carseats and a booster!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

Wow, 250K and you feel strapped!?

Sure, I know daycare, mortgages, and DC metro. living isn't cheap, but my goodness...I'm waiting for the day that we have a 6 figure paycheck to balk at.

[Anonymous]

Nope. Don't want more kids because I just don't. The fact that I'm realistic about what we can afford is just a bonus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sigh...just a rant...we have 2 and both work and barely make ends meet. We love our children and would love a 3rd..but there is NO WAY we could afford it. - Just complaining...sad.

If we moved farther out, the commute would be too far for our jobs - our house is already ridiculously small so moving really isnt an option.

anyhow...i guess i am just looking for sympathy or to vent.
thanks !

I feel you. I have one wonderful kid from a former marriage, and can't afford another right now even though I would love to. I am also re-partnered with a wonderful guy...who had a vasectomy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

Your problem is the huge mortgage in Bethesda. This is not mean spirited, but you have your priorities and right now its the house in Bethesda over more kids-which there is nothing wrong with. But please realize, this is a choice you've made.

We have one salary (150K) and 3 children. We do not live lavish, but we have what we need and manage to save some money at the end of the month. However, our mortgage is only 2k/mo-hardly big. We could probably afford a bit bigger mortage, but who wants to deal with that stress? Its seems pretty misearble.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

Your problem is the huge mortgage in Bethesda. This is not mean spirited, but you have your priorities and right now its the house in Bethesda over more kids-which there is nothing wrong with. But please realize, this is a choice you've made.

We have one salary (150K) and 3 children. We do not live lavish, but we have what we need and manage to save some money at the end of the month. However, our mortgage is only 2k/mo-hardly big. We could probably afford a bit bigger mortage, but who wants to deal with that stress? Its seems pretty misearble.

Everything is a trade off. We chose a big mortgage in DC (for a small house) so that we spend very little time commuting to work and have more time with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Us: $250 combined salaries with 2 kids in daycare, ginormous mortgage, and living in Bethesda. We too (believe it or not) feel we're stretching every cent. In fact just at lunch today DH and I were discussing how much more per month we really would need not to feel so strapped. I'd LOVE to have another, and maybe we will in a couple years, but for now it just seems financially so risky.

I wish I was like the PP who just makes it work (I'm also the one who said she was a "special person"). I mean it! Talk about having your priorities straight.

Sigh.

Your problem is the huge mortgage in Bethesda. This is not mean spirited, but you have your priorities and right now its the house in Bethesda over more kids-which there is nothing wrong with. But please realize, this is a choice you've made.

We have one salary (150K) and 3 children. We do not live lavish, but we have what we need and manage to save some money at the end of the month. However, our mortgage is only 2k/mo-hardly big. We could probably afford a bit bigger mortage, but who wants to deal with that stress? Its seems pretty misearble.

Wow - amazing how you can diagnose what my problem is, being a total stranger and all. Perhaps your husband should quit his 150K gig so that you can do palm readings? Of course what you said was meant to be mean spirited. Shame on you. You know nothing about how we came to live where we do, or what my priorities are for that matter. You might do better to focus all that negative energy on addressing your blatantly obvious jealousy and insecurity issues.