asshole-ish thing to do, or is there something about the value of pens that I don't know about?

[Anonymous]

no, his reponse was polite and he explained how much he valued the pen. it wouldn't matter if it had been a bic pen, it was something he treasured and you should have respected that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again - even if you think I was an asshole for saying something to the man, do you think that the man was being a bit of one, too, in not allowing someone to borrow his pen under those circumstances?

No, as PPs have already explained--it's ok to politely decline. it doesn't make you an asshole, under these or any circumstances.

Wow. I guess I have a lot to learn, then. I would never deny a request to borrow my pen if it was going to be used to quickly sign a form, right next to me, by someone who was not going anywhere (because in line at customs).

I appreciate the honesty of your responses.

Well that's fine. Would I lend someone my pen? Sure. But I certainly wouldn't berate someone for not lending out a pen, FFS. At most I would internally roll my eyes.

OP, you must go through the day exhausted if you get so morally outraged about minor incidents.

I was not "morally outraged." I was very surprised at what I perceived to be the extreme rudeness of the denial, and spoke up (as I realize now I should not have, as you have all educated me, thank you), which is something I don't typically do.

[Anonymous]

But what was so 'extremely rude' about his denial? The way you described it sounded like he said he was sorry but no, he couldn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again - even if you think I was an asshole for saying something to the man, do you think that the man was being a bit of one, too, in not allowing someone to borrow his pen under those circumstances?

No. He was not being helpful, but it's not an asshole thing to do to be unhelpful. It's not like they were stuck out on a deserted road when it was 40 below and asked to borrow his car jack to fix a tire and he said "Sorry, but this is a really expensive jack so I don't ever lend it out," and he left people to FREEZE TO DEATH. Then yes, he'd be an asshole. But just to make them have to ask someone else? Nope. You are the only asshole at customs in your situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here again - even if you think I was an asshole for saying something to the man, do you think that the man was being a bit of one, too, in not allowing someone to borrow his pen under those circumstances?

No. It's a nice pen. Maybe I don't value pens enough to spend a lot of money on them, but some do, and that's his prerogative. You're not obligated to loan a stranger anything. Would you let someone in a customs line try on your diamond ring because they're in line with you and "not going anywhere"? You were the rude one, point blank.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here again - even if you think I was an asshole for saying something to the man, do you think that the man was being a bit of one, too, in not allowing someone to borrow his pen under those circumstances?

No, as PPs have already explained--it's ok to politely decline. it doesn't make you an asshole, under these or any circumstances.

Wow. I guess I have a lot to learn, then. I would never deny a request to borrow my pen if it was going to be used to quickly sign a form, right next to me, by someone who was not going anywhere (because in line at customs).

I appreciate the honesty of your responses.

Are you a people pleasing chick?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:But what was so 'extremely rude' about his denial? The way you described it sounded like he said he was sorry but no, he couldn't.

Yes, good point. He wasn't rude in his denial of the request. I just didn't see any legitimate reason for the denial of the pen to these two young men, who were not native to the country and seemed a little confused by the process, and were looking to quickly complete these forms before getting to the front of the line. It seemed unfriendly. You PPs have shown me that I was wrong to say anything, and that he obviously had his reasons.

[Anonymous]

Time to go away now

[Anonymous]

It's a bit much that you're getting the 3rd degree OP. Personally, I would think the guy was an asshole, but I wouldn't have confronted him about it.

[Anonymous]

Maybe it was his dead father's favorite pen, maybe it was his graduation pen-life is easier if you assume the best about people's actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If it was a Montblanc pen, he could have easily spent several hundred dollars on it. You were the asshole, OP. Not him.

http://www.montblanc.com/

I was going to say even if it was a Cross pen (nice, but no Montblanc), I wouldn't want other people using it. Not everyone just carries a Bic. OP, I think you stepped over the line here by addressing the man like that. Nice of you to let the guys borrow it, but not nice of you to be a judgmental harpie about the other man.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If it was a Montblanc pen, he could have easily spent several hundred dollars on it. You were the asshole, OP. Not him.

http://www.montblanc.com/

I was going to say even if it was a Cross pen (nice, but no Montblanc), I wouldn't want other people using it. Not everyone just carries a Bic. OP, I think you stepped over the line here by addressing the man like that. Nice of you to let the guys borrow it, but not nice of you to be a judgmental harpie about the other man.

This pretty much sums it all. Amen!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's a bit much that you're getting the 3rd degree OP. Personally, I would think the guy was an asshole, but I wouldn't have confronted him about it.

She's getting the 3rd degree because she specifically worded this in a way to make the pen guy sound like this horrible dick, when in reality, he doesn't sound that way at all. If she had said, "Who was right?" and worded it differently, she might have gotten less flak, but she came in here holding herself up as some champion of human rights against this poor guy who politely said he'd rather not lend out his pen. She used the word asshole first, so she's just getting it back.

[Anonymous]

While I don't like Selfish Pen Man's behavior, I think your sense of moral outrage was way out of proportion, OP. This was no more than an eyebrow raiser and the two young men were capable of handling the situation in about 14 seconds by obtaining another pen. You didn't need to get so huffy on their behalf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's a bit much that you're getting the 3rd degree OP. Personally, I would think the guy was an asshole, but I wouldn't have confronted him about it.

She's getting the 3rd degree because she specifically worded this in a way to make the pen guy sound like this horrible dick, when in reality, he doesn't sound that way at all. If she had said, "Who was right?" and worded it differently, she might have gotten less flak, but she came in here holding herself up as some champion of human rights against this poor guy who politely said he'd rather not lend out his pen. She used the word asshole first, so she's just getting it back.

+1