Is your neighborhood a GHOST TOWN??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in AU park and know all of our neighbors extremely well to the degree that we have vacationed with some. We have block parties and bbqs and play dates.

However, most if not all of the kids are HIGHLY scheduled with sports and extracurriculars. My kids are 5 and 7 and all of their friends (with 2 working parents or 1) are in camp all summer long (except for the weeks when they'll be out of town on vacation). There is very little spontaneous play or just hanging out. The kids are too busy.

I makes me sort of sad. We've joined in with the camp rotation this summer because I didn't want my kids to be alone all summer long. I wish there were more kids around during the day.

This exactly us except we live in Chevy chase dc near the metro. After a few years of fighting the tide and trying to have "old fashioned" summers that are spontaneous, I gave up. My kids were -always- alone.

The school year is just as (pointlessly) structured around here. The striving parents won't admit it this way, but much of the enrichment scheduling is aimed at resume building. ie, unathletic indifferent kids playing 3 sports and playing two instruments.

Plus tutoring on Monday just because. No deficiency, mind you. Just getting that edge in math.

This is just the sad reality of the DC area and keeping up with the Jonses. Being forced into all summer-long camps. I think it has to do with parent laziness too. Easier to send them to camp all day and let someone else deal with them. Everyone just follows suit. I wish my neighborhood had moms and kids home all summer, making their own memories. And I agree with previous posters. Our neighborhood has lawn services, dog walkers, and nannies strolling the kids. Just another reason the families don't know each other. Kids in daycare until 6:30? That is just cruel. What kind of life is that, for anyone?

[Anonymous]

Summer 1980 called and said it's not making a comeback.

Look OP time moves on and things change. Not everything is going to be exactly the same as when you were a kid.

So now kids go to camp and aftershool activites. Are you going to just whine about your kid having no one to play with or anything to do or are you going to fix it?

And on the parties, sorry, but as a WOHM I wouldn't help you either. Why should I? You are at home all day and have a 10 yr old. I think planning a get together shouldn't tax your time. (but I would contribute monetarily or food wise)

[Anonymous]

Seems like the only answer is to escape to some hillbilly-land, you won't find much of what you are looking for around here or anywhere where the rat race is at its finest. I grew up in a hillbilly type of place, had a lot of freedom starting at a very early age, played unsupervised in the woods with other kids and had no after school activities whatsoever. It was awesome. My kids, unfortunately, will never get that, such are the times and the place we live in.

[Anonymous]

Takoma Park is wonderful for kids, alot swim at pool on team, kids walking up to town (middle schoolers on up), playing outside, walking to school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Summer 1980 called and said it's not making a comeback.

Look OP time moves on and things change. Not everything is going to be exactly the same as when you were a kid.

So now kids go to camp and aftershool activites. Are you going to just whine about your kid having no one to play with or anything to do or are you going to fix it?

And on the parties, sorry, but as a WOHM I wouldn't help you either. Why should I? You are at home all day and have a 10 yr old. I think planning a get together shouldn't tax your time. (but I would contribute monetarily or food wise)

Wow, not the OP but you are a mean selfish person that is what is all wrong with society today. She said she tried this years ago so her daughter must not have been 10 then and she obviously has younger ones too. You wouldn't help for a neighborhood event because you work? You think just because you work, you can must throw some money to the poor bored SAHM's and make them do everything, because obviously they just sit around all day? Please lady - SAHM work their asses off 24hrs a day for no money. And just because you decided to work, doesn't mean you can sit there and demean moms who don't make the same choice as you. I have worked and stayed at home and for me personally, staying at home was a lot harder and with 4 kids, I most certainly wouldn't have been able to plan, shop, set up and run an entire neighborhood party all on my own. Lugging 4 kids under 7 to the grocery store alone sucks. For you to say that, is unbelievable and is shows everything that is wrong with America. "Not my problem, someone else will do it."

So get off your snobby anti-social high horse and be a little nicer in your responses or don't say anything at all. People can come here and vent. This area does suck for kids. They are pushed around and structured like mini robots by their overachieving parents. DC Metro kids dont have their own minds and have zero street smarts. That is not the case in most of American and no where in Europe. It isn't 1900 people are looking for. That is such a cop out for driven feminist women. I am not particularly fond of the neighborhood I live in either so I can totally relate. I have lived here for 12 years and it has only gotten worse. Now that I work, I understand how tough it is to even have good neighbors, get involved at my older child's school and be around a lot, but I try to make that time and I would love the opportunity to help someone who is trying to get my neighborhood closer and friendlier. I refuse to ever say "Well I work, so you do it."

[Anonymous]

Hm. For me one of the key themes of this thread is the growing burden of being a working mom. I don't know about others, but it takes every drop of strength that I have to cope with my 10hr days plus commute, get food on the table, comfort, listen, help with homework, baths, make lunches, finish dishes, plan the next day, catch up on work email that has come in during the home shift... If I get 15 minutes of downtime for myself, it's a rare night. Weekends are packed with as much kid time as possible, chores, and work (so I can get out by 6 during the week).

Now, before you say I should not have such a time-consuming job, well, it wasn't intended to be that way. And it was not like this ten years ago. But the recession changed a lot of things for those of us lucky enough to keep our jobs. I was a SAHM for a few years, and a big-time volunteer, party organizer-a lot like OP, fighting to build a community. However, i went back to work when I realized it was now or never find a job in my field again. Just as well, as DH was then out of work for some time. Now we both work, and there is not much respite. Golden handcuffs, if you will.

Our neighborhood is indeed a ghost town. And I am part of the reason. But the thought of organizing a block party makes me weep. The only way I can imagine being back in a Norman Rockville world is to uproot us all, sell the home and reestablish somewhere totally different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hm. For me one of the key themes of this thread is the growing burden of being a working mom. I don't know about others, but it takes every drop of strength that I have to cope with my 10hr days plus commute, get food on the table, comfort, listen, help with homework, baths, make lunches, finish dishes, plan the next day, catch up on work email that has come in during the home shift... If I get 15 minutes of downtime for myself, it's a rare night. Weekends are packed with as much kid time as possible, chores, and work (so I can get out by 6 during the week).

Now, before you say I should not have such a time-consuming job, well, it wasn't intended to be that way. And it was not like this ten years ago. But the recession changed a lot of things for those of us lucky enough to keep our jobs. I was a SAHM for a few years, and a big-time volunteer, party organizer-a lot like OP, fighting to build a community. However, i went back to work when I realized it was now or never find a job in my field again. Just as well, as DH was then out of work for some time. Now we both work, and there is not much respite. Golden handcuffs, if you will.

Our neighborhood is indeed a ghost town. And I am part of the reason. But the thought of organizing a block party makes me weep. The only way I can imagine being back in a Norman Rockville world is to uproot us all, sell the home and reestablish somewhere totally different.

I agree with this poster. Both my DH and I work full time as a result (to quote another poster), our kids are in after care and we all do not come home until 6 - 6:30 each evening. The kids get their friend time during aftercare as all their friends are there as well. I feel a little sorry for the kids with stay at home moms as they don't get the same "friend time" that my kids get. Ironically, my eight year old son recently read the Wimpy Kid book about summer and he moaned about how "everyone" does nothing but laze around all summer while he has to go to camps. However, I simply asked him "how many of your friends don't go to camp"? and he came to realize that ALL of his friends go to camp - so that is where he will see them. My daughter loves seeing her friends and hasn't complained yet. Anyway, if you want to organize play time for your kids, find out what their friends are doing. If they are in aftercare, see if you can enroll them at least 2x a week there so they can have fun then.
I don't have an answer to your other point regarding the "community feel"; as I also live in Rockville (western side closer to Potomac) and we have had several block parties (not formal block parties, but someone will have a party and invite all of the neighbors). Our kids are all basically the same age and on weekends they run around the neighborhood, ride bikes or scooters or we meet each other at the local (walking distance) pool.

[Anonymous]

We're in Silver Spring, close to its downtown, and our neighborhood is filled with kids outside playing and riding bikes or scooters or skateboards. On our block kids run from one yard to the next. Neighbors hang out and chat with each other, stopping if they're out walking to say hi to anyone in the front yard. We feel very lucky.

[Anonymous]

Those of you who live near downtown Silver Spring, could you please be very specific? Where exactly are you? TIA

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Summer 1980 called and said it's not making a comeback.

Look OP time moves on and things change. Not everything is going to be exactly the same as when you were a kid.

So now kids go to camp and aftershool activites. Are you going to just whine about your kid having no one to play with or anything to do or are you going to fix it?

And on the parties, sorry, but as a WOHM I wouldn't help you either. Why should I? You are at home all day and have a 10 yr old. I think planning a get together shouldn't tax your time. (but I would contribute monetarily or food wise)

Wow, not the OP but you are a mean selfish person that is what is all wrong with society today. She said she tried this years ago so her daughter must not have been 10 then and she obviously has younger ones too. You wouldn't help for a neighborhood event because you work? You think just because you work, you can must throw some money to the poor bored SAHM's and make them do everything, because obviously they just sit around all day? Please lady - SAHM work their asses off 24hrs a day for no money. And just because you decided to work, doesn't mean you can sit there and demean moms who don't make the same choice as you. I have worked and stayed at home and for me personally, staying at home was a lot harder and with 4 kids, I most certainly wouldn't have been able to plan, shop, set up and run an entire neighborhood party all on my own. Lugging 4 kids under 7 to the grocery store alone sucks. For you to say that, is unbelievable and is shows everything that is wrong with America. "Not my problem, someone else will do it."

So get off your snobby anti-social high horse and be a little nicer in your responses or don't say anything at all. People can come here and vent. This area does suck for kids. They are pushed around and structured like mini robots by their overachieving parents. DC Metro kids dont have their own minds and have zero street smarts. That is not the case in most of American and no where in Europe. It isn't 1900 people are looking for. That is such a cop out for driven feminist women. I am not particularly fond of the neighborhood I live in either so I can totally relate. I have lived here for 12 years and it has only gotten worse. Now that I work, I understand how tough it is to even have good neighbors, get involved at my older child's school and be around a lot, but I try to make that time and I would love the opportunity to help someone who is trying to get my neighborhood closer and friendlier. I refuse to ever say "Well I work, so you do it."

Look bitter SAHM, yeah, I do expect a SAHM with one child, a 10 yr old, to have the time to organize a simple get together in the neighborhood. I work 40+ hours a week, volunteer at school and scouts and organize get together for friends on occasion so if I can mange to do it I think a SAHM who is complaining about the unneighborly feel of her neighborhood should stop bitching and do something about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Summer 1980 called and said it's not making a comeback.

Look OP time moves on and things change. Not everything is going to be exactly the same as when you were a kid.

So now kids go to camp and aftershool activites. Are you going to just whine about your kid having no one to play with or anything to do or are you going to fix it?

And on the parties, sorry, but as a WOHM I wouldn't help you either. Why should I? You are at home all day and have a 10 yr old. I think planning a get together shouldn't tax your time. (but I would contribute monetarily or food wise)

Wow, not the OP but you are a mean selfish person that is what is all wrong with society today. She said she tried this years ago so her daughter must not have been 10 then and she obviously has younger ones too. You wouldn't help for a neighborhood event because you work? You think just because you work, you can must throw some money to the poor bored SAHM's and make them do everything, because obviously they just sit around all day? Please lady - SAHM work their asses off 24hrs a day for no money. And just because you decided to work, doesn't mean you can sit there and demean moms who don't make the same choice as you. I have worked and stayed at home and for me personally, staying at home was a lot harder and with 4 kids, I most certainly wouldn't have been able to plan, shop, set up and run an entire neighborhood party all on my own. Lugging 4 kids under 7 to the grocery store alone sucks. For you to say that, is unbelievable and is shows everything that is wrong with America. "Not my problem, someone else will do it."

So get off your snobby anti-social high horse and be a little nicer in your responses or don't say anything at all. People can come here and vent. This area does suck for kids. They are pushed around and structured like mini robots by their overachieving parents. DC Metro kids dont have their own minds and have zero street smarts. That is not the case in most of American and no where in Europe. It isn't 1900 people are looking for. That is such a cop out for driven feminist women. I am not particularly fond of the neighborhood I live in either so I can totally relate. I have lived here for 12 years and it has only gotten worse. Now that I work, I understand how tough it is to even have good neighbors, get involved at my older child's school and be around a lot, but I try to make that time and I would love the opportunity to help someone who is trying to get my neighborhood closer and friendlier. I refuse to ever say "Well I work, so you do it."

Look bitter SAHM, yeah, I do expect a SAHM with one child, a 10 yr old, to have the time to organize a simple get together in the neighborhood. I work 40+ hours a week, volunteer at school and scouts and organize get together for friends on occasion so if I can mange to do it I think a SAHM who is complaining about the unneighborly feel of her neighborhood should stop bitching and do something about it.

I think you miss the point. It isn't that the OP doesn't have the time to organize these events. It's that it's lonely and demoralizing to be doing without the help and companionship of other families in her neighborhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in AU park and know all of our neighbors extremely well to the degree that we have vacationed with some. We have block parties and bbqs and play dates.

However, most if not all of the kids are HIGHLY scheduled with sports and extracurriculars. My kids are 5 and 7 and all of their friends (with 2 working parents or 1) are in camp all summer long (except for the weeks when they'll be out of town on vacation). There is very little spontaneous play or just hanging out. The kids are too busy.

I makes me sort of sad. We've joined in with the camp rotation this summer because I didn't want my kids to be alone all summer long. I wish there were more kids around during the day.

It will get better when the kids get older (12+ so legal to stay home). We live in NW DC. It was tough during elementary school years. Now the kids get together to play, even though they are from different schools, even with the little ones. Of course, we are lucky that not all families with school age kids moved to Bethesda.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We live in AU park and know all of our neighbors extremely well to the degree that we have vacationed with some. We have block parties and bbqs and play dates.

However, most if not all of the kids are HIGHLY scheduled with sports and extracurriculars. My kids are 5 and 7 and all of their friends (with 2 working parents or 1) are in camp all summer long (except for the weeks when they'll be out of town on vacation). There is very little spontaneous play or just hanging out. The kids are too busy.

I makes me sort of sad. We've joined in with the camp rotation this summer because I didn't want my kids to be alone all summer long. I wish there were more kids around during the day.

We live in Bethesda, just over the district line from AU Park and I feel the same. My 5 yr old is the only one I know who will not be in camp all summer long, except when out of town, even though others have a parent at home with younger siblings too. I just couldn't justify the expense of putting him in camp when I'm at home, as well as paying for the summer pool membership. He will be doing one week of sports camp and swim lessons-that's it. I look forward to having lots of trips to museums and hanging out at the parks and the pool together, but it does make me rethink where we have chosen to live since all other families seem to feel that their children need to always have something scheduled at all times for them. I've even had people say, "what are you doing if your kid isn't in camp?" It is a bit sad that some parents can't fathom just hanging out or having mini adventures with their own kids during the Summer. We live next to DC, the options are endless! To say nothing for just having time to relax!(I'm referring to parents who stay at home, not those who are working full-time and need a safe/fun place for their children to be cared for during the summer)
I really do feel we are in the minority in our area.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We live in AU park and know all of our neighbors extremely well to the degree that we have vacationed with some. We have block parties and bbqs and play dates.

However, most if not all of the kids are HIGHLY scheduled with sports and extracurriculars. My kids are 5 and 7 and all of their friends (with 2 working parents or 1) are in camp all summer long (except for the weeks when they'll be out of town on vacation). There is very little spontaneous play or just hanging out. The kids are too busy.

I makes me sort of sad. We've joined in with the camp rotation this summer because I didn't want my kids to be alone all summer long. I wish there were more kids around during the day.

This exactly us except we live in Chevy chase dc near the metro. After a few years of fighting the tide and trying to have "old fashioned" summers that are spontaneous, I gave up. My kids were -always- alone.

The school year is just as (pointlessly) structured around here. The striving parents won't admit it this way, but much of the enrichment scheduling is aimed at resume building. ie, unathletic indifferent kids playing 3 sports and playing two instruments.

Plus tutoring on Monday just because. No deficiency, mind you. Just getting that edge in math.

Wow, well I can cross CC DC off my potential list of new neighborhoods...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Summer 1980 called and said it's not making a comeback.

Look OP time moves on and things change. Not everything is going to be exactly the same as when you were a kid.

So now kids go to camp and aftershool activites. Are you going to just whine about your kid having no one to play with or anything to do or are you going to fix it?

And on the parties, sorry, but as a WOHM I wouldn't help you either. Why should I? You are at home all day and have a 10 yr old. I think planning a get together shouldn't tax your time. (but I would contribute monetarily or food wise)

Wow, not the OP but you are a mean selfish person that is what is all wrong with society today. She said she tried this years ago so her daughter must not have been 10 then and she obviously has younger ones too. You wouldn't help for a neighborhood event because you work? You think just because you work, you can must throw some money to the poor bored SAHM's and make them do everything, because obviously they just sit around all day? Please lady - SAHM work their asses off 24hrs a day for no money. And just because you decided to work, doesn't mean you can sit there and demean moms who don't make the same choice as you. I have worked and stayed at home and for me personally, staying at home was a lot harder and with 4 kids, I most certainly wouldn't have been able to plan, shop, set up and run an entire neighborhood party all on my own. Lugging 4 kids under 7 to the grocery store alone sucks. For you to say that, is unbelievable and is shows everything that is wrong with America. "Not my problem, someone else will do it."

So get off your snobby anti-social high horse and be a little nicer in your responses or don't say anything at all. People can come here and vent. This area does suck for kids. They are pushed around and structured like mini robots by their overachieving parents. DC Metro kids dont have their own minds and have zero street smarts. That is not the case in most of American and no where in Europe. It isn't 1900 people are looking for. That is such a cop out for driven feminist women. I am not particularly fond of the neighborhood I live in either so I can totally relate. I have lived here for 12 years and it has only gotten worse. Now that I work, I understand how tough it is to even have good neighbors, get involved at my older child's school and be around a lot, but I try to make that time and I would love the opportunity to help someone who is trying to get my neighborhood closer and friendlier. I refuse to ever say "Well I work, so you do it."

Look bitter SAHM, yeah, I do expect a SAHM with one child, a 10 yr old, to have the time to organize a simple get together in the neighborhood. I work 40+ hours a week, volunteer at school and scouts and organize get together for friends on occasion so if I can mange to do it I think a SAHM who is complaining about the unneighborly feel of her neighborhood should stop bitching and do something about it.

Have you even read her post? She is a WOHM, just like you. The difference is she's not a selfish bitch who can't read. I totally agree with her post.