Is your neighborhood a GHOST TOWN??

[Anonymous]

I am so disappointed in the neighborhood we chose to live in. I am not from here originally so I can not compare but this area seems to have over-structured kids that are never playing outside. EVER! We have lived here (near the Rockville/Potomac border) for 5 years and I just keep thinking once my daughter gets older, it will get better. That is not the case. She is 10 and she has 3 kids in the whole neighborhood that are her age. 2 of which go to other schools. There are kids of every age but they are never home, never outside playing. No jailbreak at night, nothing. Everyone is in activities after school until dinner and then homework and bed. She has to plan set times to play with her friends. It is a little ridiculous.

Is it like that everywhere in the DC Metro? My husband's job is located here so unfortunately we can not move out of the area but we have both thought about moving to a better neighborly location. I see all of my friends that live everywhere but here post about neighborhood picnics, block parties, july 4th neighborhood parades, monthly BBQ's, wine nights, halloween house decorating contests, etc... I tried to start an annual halloween party and a summer party a few years ago and everyone is initially on board but then people are "too busy" to seriously pitch in and help. After running both events 2 years in a row with a fair share of people showing up but little help, I stopped. Only a few asked if we could start up again. I find it very sad to not know your neighbors. We have a few good friends nearby but again, everyone is "too busy!" and the gatherings are few and far in between. No one knows each other. People walk, bike, stroll right past others without saying hi. So many don't even speak English, you can't talk to them if you wanted to. I am a SAHM and even with a Mom's club it is really a sad lonely area for moms that are home and don't over-structure their kids all day every day. I take my 3 year old to the playground and it is usually empty except for a few nannies with kids. Most of the time my 10 year old will have friends here for 1-2 hours a few times a week but nothing major and most aren't allowed to be outside without parent supervision. I feel like she is losing her childhood so quickly. I relished outdoor time with my friends when I was younger. Biking, playing kick the can, going to secret hiding locations, watching Little League games up the street, etc... Stupid stuff that was free, fun and you were able to do without structure or a parent up your a$$. She wants it too but it just doesn't happen. She plays one sport a season and that is my limit. I just can not as a SAHM rationalize paying hundreds of dollars a week for art, dance, more sports, and all the other paid and structured activities that seem to be the norm. She isn't a very artsy girl anyway and already plays instrument and sings in chorus at school. I feel like an outcast.

Sorry I am venting here. I am just really frustrated that my children's home and neighborhood is this way. If you have a neighborhood that truly has kids playing outside, neighbors that get together, and families that can slow down for 5 minutes and enjoy the simpler life, please tell me where. We are seriously looking to move in the next year but hopefully stay in Maryland. Virginia is too far of a commute to most of my husbands jobs he visits and most of my family is up 95 North.


Thanks for listening. I am sure there will be flames too but I have thick-skin

[Anonymous]

Moved into my current house a year ago after being in my last neighborhood for 10 years. Vast improvement. No music at night, yes kids play outside, but go in at a reasonable hour. Personally, I love it.

Do have to say, in my old neighborhood, people didn't say hi, but in this one, everyone is friendly. nice change.

[Anonymous]

Yes our neighborhood is also a ghost town as you describe. I much lament for the same reasons as you - moth DH and I had all that as children. Moving for a new neighborhood is such a huge expense - can't fathom moving without a big job change or some similar justification.

[Anonymous]

05:51, where do you live?

[Anonymous]

We live in Chevy Chase and our neighborhood is definitely NOT a ghost town. Kids of all ages are running around all of the time. Neighbors always say "hi" and start a conversation, the kids are always having impromptu playdates with other neighborhood kids. We also have widely-attended block parties, 4th of July parties, Halloween parties, etc.

[Anonymous]

When I was on maternity leave, I did see mostly nannies out with the kids during the day. I can imagine that being a SAHM in this area could be somewhat isolating. Moms groups should help.
I think it takes 2 incomes in most places to live around here, and therefore it's hard to have that down time for the kids because the evenings are just a rush of dinner, bath, bedtime. So there isn't that after school free playtime because the kids are in aftercare programs. That's how it will be for our family.

[Anonymous]

I live in Baltimore City and my neighborhood is a weird remnant of an earlier time. There is always somebody out on his/her porch who wants to say hi to the baby, always a post-work crew of parents chatting on the sidewalk while the kids play, evening bike riding and soccer in the alley, and I can count on running into moms and dads I know at the little playground at the end of the block (which is also littered with empty dime bags, but you take what you can get).

[Anonymous]

Come out to the upper MoCo suburbs, OP! We have just what you are looking for: lots of kids and SAHM's, people who are not working their lives away to afford their house, friendliness and a sense of community...we've got that. What we don't have is a quick commute to DC, a newly built home, or the top-ranked schools. There is a trade off, but then again, my kids are still receiving a great MoCo education without being in the high-pressure environment that I read about in the most popular schools, so I do like that. I love the fact that my kids have at least 30 other kids in our neighborhood to play with (in safety!), or can ride their bikes 10 minutes to other friend's houses; their sense of community here is much like what I experienced growing up in a small town. Gaithersburg, Germantown, and Clarksburg are full of the type of neighborhoods you are looking for.

[Anonymous]

No, we live in a NW DC neighborhood and our neighborhood, if anything, is almost too Mayberry-like. We know everyone and kids play together outside constantly, even though they don't all go to the same schools. And yes, my kids are old enough to walk to the park by themselves and they do so frequently.

[Anonymous]

Yes, there's no more fighting in the dance hall.

[Anonymous]

No. Our neighborhood is full of kids roving around on scooters and bikes, or playing lacrosse or football or just having nerf gun wars in the front yards, and there's a group of folks who plan neighborhood parties for every major holiday (and some just because). Kids have lots of activities, but they also seem to have plenty of time to play, and everyone keeps an eye on everyone else's kids, so I don't worry about letting them run around by themselves. We sit on our front porch in the evenings, and everyone stops and chats on the way by. We're in the Alexandria part of Fairfax County, but I suspect that there are neighborhoods in Maryland similar to ours. Drive around and look for scooters and bikes lying in the front yards and people walking dogs.

[Anonymous]

no, we're in reston and it's mayberry-ish too. kids everywhere, bikes parked in yards (not always their own), chalk on the sidewalks. i love it.

[Anonymous]

Our neighborhood in Bethesda is quiet and the kids go to lots of different schools and are involved in a lot of activities. This includes my kids so I don't really mind. I will say that as the kids get older it actually gets better in that they do seem to want to do more with kids in the neighborhood - might be pick up soccer or hanging out or whatever. They tend to organize this through facebook/texting. Of course this is mostly the public school kids, who know each other through school. When my kids were in private school they really didn't know the neighborhood kids.

[Anonymous]

I don't know what my neighborhood is like during the week because I am not there. I am at work.

[Anonymous]

My neighborhood is a ghost town also, OP. I live in Upper Marlboro (PG County). Rarely are there kids outside. I'm sad about this also because while I grew up with less advantages, I have fond memories of being outside playing.

The most family-friendly neighborhoods for us have been when we were just starting out and lived in lower-income apartment complexes. There were always kids outside to play with and my children loved living there. "Moving up" has its disadvantages.