Marriage Structure and Resistance to the Gender Revolution in the Workplace

[Anonymous]

I do beleive that things will continue to improve as the older generations move out of powerful positions. Unless of course, our country completely crashes and there are almost NO jobs. No money for/and or no birth control. Then we will revert to a woman-as-dependent society.

[Anonymous]

Where are the fathers? As someone said more than once, nothing will change until we are all responsible and caring toward the children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be better if we reverted back to the old ways and I didn't have to take care of a sick baby all day, and work, and then after putting said baby to bed, drive downtown and work more until 3AM. All so I can live in my 1200 square foot home.

How freaking ingenious - who is the moron who fought for my right to kill myself working and being a mommy at the same time with a child who is always sick and never well because she is in some F-ing daycare rather than with mommy? And because most women work now, home values are double what they used to be as a value of average salary compared to average home price. Today, the market expects two people will work to pay for a home.

Being a woman today rocks!

You.Are.Such.A.Victim.

That's right, blame your problems on an entire generation of women you have never met - you are sure to find fulfillment that way!

No one forced you to become a mom. Or to work. If you can't afford kids without working and you don't want to work either don't have kids or only have kids with a high earning spouse. You have plenty of choices, you just made yours and want to blame others.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a high intensity job and I have deliberately taken a more flexible but lower paying job do that out family life runs more smoothly and I can shift my schedule around and cover emergency child care needs. Because of that, we have less money than dual income families where both parents work high demand jobs. I don't think that the choice to take a more flexible job should always be the woman's, but I do have a problem with couples who don't make the decision to take less money and more flexibility who then complain about how the workforce is unfair. You get to have the money, so why do you think your life shouldn't be a little harder than mine.

And sometimes both parents take flexible jobs.

And that's great. But, couples in which neither parent choose to take a more flexible job and who enjoy two full incomes can't be too surprised or upset that people who have made the choice to forego the money have it easier. We all make our choices in life and all choices come with trade-offs.

+1 -- with OP and last PP; also, to second PP -- not everyone has the option to take a "flexible" job (for example, whether you're in a big firm or an NGO, there aren't a lot of those jobs in law

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be better if we reverted back to the old ways and I didn't have to take care of a sick baby all day, and work, and then after putting said baby to bed, drive downtown and work more until 3AM. All so I can live in my 1200 square foot home.

How freaking ingenious - who is the moron who fought for my right to kill myself working and being a mommy at the same time with a child who is always sick and never well because she is in some F-ing daycare rather than with mommy? And because most women work now, home values are double what they used to be as a value of average salary compared to average home price. Today, the market expects two people will work to pay for a home.

Being a woman today rocks!

You make good points, which will be glossed over and buried by something else.

Feminism and patriarchy are two sides of the same coin. They both oppress women, just in different ways. Now instead of being a slave to your family, you can be a slave to your boss.

AMEN, and I am so glad someone has finally pointed this out on this board. I see all this constant bickering between SAHMs and WOHMs and there is this underlying lionization of the modern workplace that I just don't get.

[Anonymous]

I work with men who clearly have a dim view of working women with children and, yes, they all have stay at home wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I do beleive that things will continue to improve as the older generations move out of powerful positions. Unless of course, our country completely crashes and there are almost NO jobs. No money for/and or no birth control. Then we will revert to a woman-as-dependent society.

Not if female babies are the babies of choice. More girls, more women to rule. Ask China about that.

[Anonymous]

Not everyone is able to take a more flexible job. Must be nice for some of you to assume everyone has that luxury.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I work with men who clearly have a dim view of working women with children and, yes, they all have stay at home wives.

I completely understand. As a female supervisor, I am so sick of hearing about other women"s problems at home. You were hired to do a job, not bitch and moan about your personal problems. Until you understand thid, you will always have this problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be better if we reverted back to the old ways and I didn't have to take care of a sick baby all day, and work, and then after putting said baby to bed, drive downtown and work more until 3AM. All so I can live in my 1200 square foot home.

How freaking ingenious - who is the moron who fought for my right to kill myself working and being a mommy at the same time with a child who is always sick and never well because she is in some F-ing daycare rather than with mommy? And because most women work now, home values are double what they used to be as a value of average salary compared to average home price. Today, the market expects two people will work to pay for a home.

Being a woman today rocks!

You make good points, which will be glossed over and buried by something else.

Feminism and patriarchy are two sides of the same coin. They both oppress women, just in different ways. Now instead of being a slave to your family, you can be a slave to your boss.

AMEN, and I am so glad someone has finally pointed this out on this board. I see all this constant bickering between SAHMs and WOHMs and there is this underlying lionization of the modern workplace that I just don't get.

I stay at home. Why on earth would I fault, judge, or criticize women who work out of the home? I don't. And I don't truly believe that any but the angriest minority of women on either side really truly cares what any other women do.

If you believe feminism is so unbearably awful, then, by all means, return to the pink collar ghetto. Insist that your boss pay you less since you don't have a family to support. And you'd better not have gone to college for anything besides an M.R.S. Have your husband tell you how to vote. Sign everything Mrs. His Name His Last Name. Make sure he knows he's valued, and that helping out around the house, even helping raise his own children, is totally unnecessary. Since several PPs, or one really big dingbat troll, seem to have no clue what feminism is, may I suggest Gail Collins's excellent http://www.amazon.com/When-Everything-Changed-Amazing-American/dp/0316059544.

Really. I think the grown ups know that most adults make their best choice possible, and it's total whipped up BS to pretend we all gve a shit what anyone else I doing.

Oh and: duh, patriarchy still colors how we all live and work. Whether or not we get to bury patriarchy rests on our ability to recognize that equality is positive.

[Anonymous]

Bless your heart! You were only quoting the subject of a research paper and not trying to introduce a serious topic on DCUM. Now back to Southern speak and how much money it costs to live in DC

[Anonymous]

22:52 - If I were a feminist, I'd tell you to be quiet and talk to me when you get a job that doesn't consist of leeching off of your husband. But since I am not a feminist, I'll accept that you have a right to your opinions, no matter how short-sighted they are.

[Anonymous]

Has anyone else gone to the trouble of reading the actual results? They have absolutely nothing to do with maternity leave or juggling sick kids in daycare.

These studies state the obvious to any A-type, career driven women who has punched through the glass ceiling.

Society, men and women, continue to view women in certain roles. Men in the workplace, in traditional marriages, are usually more traditional about women's roles than men in non-traditional marital arrangements. Obvious, no?

Some of us women always aspired to be President vs. First Lady. That's the path we chose. It’s hard out here. It’s a man’s world. Once you arrive, you are proud of your accomplishments, look around and realize, it’s actually really lonely up here without any sisters for exec spa days. What now?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do beleive that things will continue to improve as the older generations move out of powerful positions. Unless of course, our country completely crashes and there are almost NO jobs. No money for/and or no birth control. Then we will revert to a woman-as-dependent society.

Not if female babies are the babies of choice. More girls, more women to rule. Ask China about that.

I don't understand. Are you saying there is or may be a trend in the US towards people preferring to have female babies? Doesn't China prefer boys? Isn't our culture still boys-are-best? Didn't we just go through a "must stop abortion as female infantcide" debate?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Not everyone is able to take a more flexible job. Must be nice for some of you to assume everyone has that luxury.

Not everybody has that choice but those that say they don't have a choice because they are not willing to give up money actually have made the choice not to get a flexible job.

I know many lawyers that have chosen a more flexible job - some left law to do it but you don't have to just do law with a law degree.