I want to punch my husband in the face

[Anonymous]

My son knew the alphabet around 18 months and recognized numbers (and could count) by around that age or maybe just a little bit older (I'm thinking like 20 months). I remember our pediatrician asking us about his talking and us telling her and she was just impressed. But she also told us that she had another little kid who had some sight words at 2.5, and basically her reaction to our concerns was, why be concerned? He's clearly typical in every other way, he's just a smart little dude. Anyway, he is three now and not autistic. While yes, knowing numbers (especially a preoccupation with them) and being verbal early can be a sign, there are some specific things with that that typically stand out, such as whether or not they talk to / with you versus just mutter and repeat words without attempting to use words to communicate (especially repeating things), etc. I remember meeting a little boy and his mom at a party. The little boy was 14 months or 15 months (tops) and was like "mama is drinking water" and I remembered thinking wow, that's advanced! And a mutual friend observed that if it was her kid talking like that, she'd be concerned because it's a sign of autism for that young a child to be constructing sentences. Another mutual friend who works with autistic children basically schooled her, though, and was like no, it's not - not by itself, anyway, and that you should never obsess about that stuff because it will suck the joy out of parenting. Good advice! And I was glad I heard it before my own early talker started constructing sentences and counting or I might have been worried, too.

I don't like that your husband was all "you need to bring this up." Is he so concerned? If so, and it's a scary bit thing, then why doesn't he want to come along to the appointment with you to share his concerns in person? So I'd tell him that. But, I don't think you should be angry that he shared his concern. I'm really anxious too, OP, but you have to grow up. You don't want to be the shrinking violet whose husband cannot discuss any parenting concerns with her. That's not good for you or him or your kids. You two need to be bouncing ideas and concerns back and forth. You need to be the calm one sometimes, just as he should be the calm one. He shouldn't have to withhold his feelings or hide concerns from you for fear that you'll freak out or obsess. If you can't face a parenting concern head on without feeling debilitated, you need to work on that because you've got a long haul ahead of you.

Of course, I don't mean this unkindly and again, your husband didn't exactly finesse this at all. He needs to be aware of context and how he raises concerns with you. I agree it's kind of shitty to drop a bomb, then wander off and leave you to worry over it.

[Anonymous]

you are basically stating that he now has to monitor and filter everything he says, concerns he may have, or even his own nervous feelings and walk on egg shells around you because of your own anxiety disorder...........which isn't actually helping you at all and takes candid communication out of the picture..................

[Anonymous]

OP, ease up! If it is such an irrational connection, and you are so knowledgeable about it, then you shouldn't be affected so much. Right???

He read something, he observed something, he talked to you about it. Don't punish communication.

[Anonymous]

By 12 months DD knew just about what your DS knows and was speaking in short sentences and very clearly. By 19 months she could tell you her name, address, phone number and knew the real names of her mom and dad. She liked to point out her numbers and letters. She never forgot anything and correcct you if you weren't directly quoting something someone had said. She was reading by K (we skipped pre-k) and developed a real love of reading by 6. Homework was to read for 20 mintues and she would read for an hour (now it's 2-3 hours) She's now 8, still clever, and not autistic.

DS was a little slower in comparison but had a real fondness for counting and was doing addition and subtraction with ease by 3. He was obsessed with math. I can honestly have no idea when he learned how to read because it was as if he just woke up one day with the ability to read. Not kind of read but really read and comprehend. When he was six they tested his reading level and said he tested at a 5th grade level but that was only as far as the test went so they were sure it was much higher. DS has two best friends. One that is five years older and on the same level as he is intellectually. The other suffered some brain damage, is a little slow and uncoordinated, and DS really adores him. DS helps him with reading and the boy helps him with socialization. Yes, DS is on the spectrum but just far enough to make him quirky.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 12 months DD knew just about what your DS knows and was speaking in short sentences and very clearly. By 19 months she could tell you her name, address, phone number and knew the real names of her mom and dad. She liked to point out her numbers and letters. She never forgot anything and correcct you if you weren't directly quoting something someone had said. She was reading by K (we skipped pre-k) and developed a real love of reading by 6. Homework was to read for 20 mintues and she would read for an hour (now it's 2-3 hours) She's now 8, still clever, and not autistic.

DS was a little slower in comparison but had a real fondness for counting and was doing addition and subtraction with ease by 3. He was obsessed with math. I can honestly have no idea when he learned how to read because it was as if he just woke up one day with the ability to read. Not kind of read but really read and comprehend. When he was six they tested his reading level and said he tested at a 5th grade level but that was only as far as the test went so they were sure it was much higher. DS has two best friends. One that is five years older and on the same level as he is intellectually. The other suffered some brain damage, is a little slow and uncoordinated, and DS really adores him. DS helps him with reading and the boy helps him with socialization. Yes, DS is on the spectrum but just far enough to make him quirky.

Not OP but I enjoyed hearing your stories about your kids. They both sound like neat kids.

[Anonymous]

My kid taught himself his numbers and letters. We did not over expose him to it at all. He picked up the foam bath letters one day and went at it. We have an idea how he learnt it but it wasn't through an adult. He is by. O means autistic. Calm down !

[Anonymous]

I thought this post would be about a drunk husband coming home at 2am, awaking the kids doing so, betting (and losing) a ton of $$, and then finding out he parked the car on the front lawn.

Way over -reacting. Didn't OP say she used to work with autistic kids? So, wouldn't OP know better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:By 12 months DD knew just about what your DS knows and was speaking in short sentences and very clearly. By 19 months she could tell you her name, address, phone number and knew the real names of her mom and dad. She liked to point out her numbers and letters. She never forgot anything and correcct you if you weren't directly quoting something someone had said. She was reading by K (we skipped pre-k) and developed a real love of reading by 6. Homework was to read for 20 mintues and she would read for an hour (now it's 2-3 hours) She's now 8, still clever, and not autistic.

Bullshit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:By 12 months DD knew just about what your DS knows and was speaking in short sentences and very clearly. By 19 months she could tell you her name, address, phone number and knew the real names of her mom and dad. She liked to point out her numbers and letters. She never forgot anything and correcct you if you weren't directly quoting something someone had said. She was reading by K (we skipped pre-k) and developed a real love of reading by 6. Homework was to read for 20 mintues and she would read for an hour (now it's 2-3 hours) She's now 8, still clever, and not autistic.

Bullshit.

I believe her.

I am the poster who mentioned colors. My oldest was speaking in 2-3 word sentences at one year and complex sentences and conversations with non family adults at 18 months. DC was able to repeat simple patterns around that age too, and do multi piece puzzles. Some kids are freakishly smart at a very young age. The fact that OP has another child on the high performing spectrum only makes her more credible to me, based on my own extended family experience.

[Anonymous]

I think OP is the wannabe supermom from the supermoms thread! If so, my advice is to get a job (read: a life).

[Anonymous]

Your husband is silly for thinking that.

You overreacted.

Apologize if you went off on him.

The end.

[Anonymous]

My dd knew all letters and could count to 10 (but not identify the written numbrrs) by two..not autistic.

[Anonymous]

DS is 18 months and can count to twenty. He knew all of his letters and could count to 10 by 12-13 months. He shows no signs of autism. I think your DD is fine but I do think you overreacted to your DH. He was just mentioning what he read, not whisking your child to the doctor to have her tested.

[Anonymous]

My dd could Id all the letters and shapes and colors at 18 months. She reads very well at 4. Not autistic.

[Anonymous]

Your DH was a little ham-handed in his approach, but he raised an issue that was a concern to him. If you are the expert OP, I am not sure why him raising the issue would send you to the edge. You are the expert.

Anyhow, DS knew all his letters and numbers by 18 months. We told his pediatrician and she just told us to be aware and suggested further testing when he was older. Turns out that he has Aspergers. We got the appropriate intervention and, at 14YO, he is doing great. He has his quirks, but he functions normally in most repects.