Reply to I want to punch my husband in the face

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[quote=Anonymous]My son knew the alphabet around 18 months and recognized numbers (and could count) by around that age or maybe just a little bit older (I'm thinking like 20 months). I remember our pediatrician asking us about his talking and us telling her and she was just impressed. But she also told us that she had another little kid who had some sight words at 2.5, and basically her reaction to our concerns was, why be concerned? He's clearly typical in every other way, he's just a smart little dude. Anyway, he is three now and not autistic. While yes, knowing numbers (especially a preoccupation with them) and being verbal early can be a sign, there are some specific things with that that typically stand out, such as whether or not they talk to / with you versus just mutter and repeat words without attempting to use words to communicate (especially repeating things), etc. I remember meeting a little boy and his mom at a party. The little boy was 14 months or 15 months (tops) and was like "mama is drinking water" and I remembered thinking wow, that's advanced! And a mutual friend observed that if it was her kid talking like that, she'd be concerned because it's a sign of autism for that young a child to be constructing sentences. Another mutual friend who works with autistic children basically schooled her, though, and was like no, it's not - not by itself, anyway, and that you should never obsess about that stuff because it will suck the joy out of parenting. Good advice! And I was glad I heard it before my own early talker started constructing sentences and counting or I might have been worried, too.

I don't like that your husband was all "you need to bring this up." Is he so concerned? If so, and it's a scary bit thing, then why doesn't he want to come along to the appointment with you to share his concerns in person? So I'd tell him that. But, I don't think you should be angry that he shared his concern. I'm really anxious too, OP, but you have to grow up. You don't want to be the shrinking violet whose husband cannot discuss any parenting concerns with her. That's not good for you or him or your kids. You two need to be bouncing ideas and concerns back and forth. You need to be the calm one sometimes, just as he should be the calm one. He shouldn't have to withhold his feelings or hide concerns from you for fear that you'll freak out or obsess. If you can't face a parenting concern head on without feeling debilitated, you need to work on that because you've got a long haul ahead of you.

Of course, I don't mean this unkindly and again, your husband didn't exactly finesse this at all. He needs to be aware of context and how he raises concerns with you. I agree it's kind of shitty to drop a bomb, then wander off and leave you to worry over it. [/quote]

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