The 11 year old and bathing suit shopping

[Anonymous]

Kids need boundaries and limits. You also need things to give in to when they are older...if you give in to everything when they are tweens, then as teens you are in big trouble.

I don't care what her friends are wearing, my 10 yr old wears a modest suit - in my eyes there is no need for her to look sexy or to show extra skin or to attract boys at there age. Does she have to cover up from head to toe - nope but no little triangle bikinis or skimpy suits that move out of place when you jump in the pool. Thankfully so far my DD is cool with sport suits and her group of friends are still into having fun and not into trying to be sexy.

I see lots of tweens at the pool in suits that make me cringe. I worked at a pool as a teen and there was a lot of physical contact in the pool between tween/teen boys and girls. Pool play / games was the perfect opportunity to touch each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a "poor tween" if she is covered up for her own and her familiy's religious and cultural beliefs? I don't want to hijack here, but I think it's great when I see girls covered up to swim because I think it shows amazing character!

I would bet it was her parent's insistence and not her amazing "character" as a tween that made for the decision to clothe her in a full wetsuit to go swimming.

I don't think that necessarily accurate. I have teen daughters and we are Muslim. My 16 year old is naturally more modest than me, and she might choose to do something like this on her own. For example, she's considering wearing hijab when no adult women in the family do. For her at least, it has more to do with what her Muslim friends are doing.

So yes, while it might be at the parents' insistence, it's also possible her mom is sunning in a one piece a couple of chairs away. 8)

Then your daughter may be one in a million. But I hope she's not wearing a SCUBA suit as pps were discussing.

[Anonymous]

There is a difference between a cute bikini and something that is sexy and inappropriate for an 11 year old. I see nothing wrong with the cute, ruffled bikinis. Triangle topped, padded, barely there is not ok. And, frankly, looks not great on most people anyway, kid or adult.

I will also say that, aside from style, bikinis are WAY more comfortable than having all that wet fabric on you when you come out of the pool to have a snack or whatever. As someone who now cannot wear a bikini due to the extra natural padding in the mid-section, I truly miss the two piece option. I hate the feeling of a tankini or one piece.

As for the dirty old men, girls and women should not have to alter their dress b/c they cannot control themselves. The first one I see ogling my daughter in an obvious way is going have a problem on his hands. Seriously, if you're a man, I expect you would notice her but get a #$@$#% grip on yourself. You look like a pervert ogling 13 year old girls like that.

[Anonymous]

My almost 11 year old wears Hanna swimsuits. She is allowed to wear a shorter swim top when she wears the skirted bottom. When she wears regular bikini bottoms, she wears the tankini top or a rash guard. Luckily, her favorites are the one pieces. Anyway, they avoid the sexy styling that our over-sexualized culture thinks little girls should enjoy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There is a difference between a cute bikini and something that is sexy and inappropriate for an 11 year old. I see nothing wrong with the cute, ruffled bikinis. Triangle topped, padded, barely there is not ok. And, frankly, looks not great on most people anyway, kid or adult.

I will also say that, aside from style, bikinis are WAY more comfortable than having all that wet fabric on you when you come out of the pool to have a snack or whatever. As someone who now cannot wear a bikini due to the extra natural padding in the mid-section, I truly miss the two piece option. I hate the feeling of a tankini or one piece.

As for the dirty old men, girls and women should not have to alter their dress b/c they cannot control themselves. The first one I see ogling my daughter in an obvious way is going have a problem on his hands. Seriously, if you're a man, I expect you would notice her but get a #$@$#% grip on yourself. You look like a pervert ogling 13 year old girls like that.

This. Exactly.

[Anonymous]

What about one of the bikinis that Arena or Speedo makes? They're not quite as revealing as a triangle bikini top, but they're more fashionable than a swim team one piece...

Like this --
http://www.amazon.com/Speedo-Girls-Scrunchy-Camikini-Swimsuit/dp/B0061IMVT8/ref=pd_sbs_a_8

or this
http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/25150.htm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a "poor tween" if she is covered up for her own and her familiy's religious and cultural beliefs? I don't want to hijack here, but I think it's great when I see girls covered up to swim because I think it shows amazing character!

Because it's 90+ degrees out and she has to be roasting. I appreciate the need for modesty, but ankle to wrist swimwear is ridiculous overkill. A pair of board shorts and a rash guard top are sufficiently modest.

Wearing ankle to wrist clothing in hot weather in the US is attention whoring. It's an in-your-face act designed to set the person apart from the rest of society and to force them to notice how special you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What about one of the bikinis that Arena or Speedo makes? They're not quite as revealing as a triangle bikini top, but they're more fashionable than a swim team one piece...

Like this --
http://www.amazon.com/Speedo-Girls-Scrunchy-Camikini-Swimsuit/dp/B0061IMVT8/ref=pd_sbs_a_8

or this
http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/25150.htm

Totally cute.

[Anonymous]

This is so cultural. When I lived in Italy as a kid I went topless until about 11-12 (nothing to hide anyway - late bloomer) and tune the bikinis I wore we're tiny but no one really noticed or cared if they slipped off because of all the adult topless women. That said, when my 6 y/o daughter wants a bikini, I'm going with location - if we're somewhere where skimpy is not as sexual, I'll go with that flow. If we're here in the US, we'll be buying modest!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a "poor tween" if she is covered up for her own and her familiy's religious and cultural beliefs? I don't want to hijack here, but I think it's great when I see girls covered up to swim because I think it shows amazing character!

Because it's 90+ degrees out and she has to be roasting. I appreciate the need for modesty, but ankle to wrist swimwear is ridiculous overkill. A pair of board shorts and a rash guard top are sufficiently modest.

Wearing ankle to wrist clothing in hot weather in the US is attention whoring. It's an in-your-face act designed to set the person apart from the rest of society and to force them to notice how special you are.

Deal with it lady. You live in a country with a lot of different kinds of people. What you see as sufficiently modest not everyone else does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Go to Target. They have the ruffled bikinis and tankinis. That's what many of the 11-13 yo girls had on at our pool this weekend.
http://www.target.com/sb/kids-girls-clothing-swimwear/Swimwear-Set/-/N-5xtvvZ5unnk#?lnk=Grid_GRLSWIM_0304_X0Y0W4|X0Y0W4&intc=430249|null

These are great! And probably cheaper than the mall stuff.

All the Tweens were wearing cute 2 piece suits, lots of ruffles and one shoulder look. Time to move beyond the year round swim team speedo one piece look.

Why? Why is there a need for little girls to strut around in barely there bikinis and bathing suits? Why do you even want to see that at the pool?

This is how I feel. What in the world is the purpose of a skimpy bikini for an 11 year old girl? I can understand teenagers wanting to get the guys' attention, and even then, I'm not always sure that a 15 yo girl totally understands what that means.

But, why dress an 11 year old girl in a bikini? The only answer I see is that all her friends are doing it. Which is a great lead in to a discussion on how you can't always do things that your friends do.

I think it's inappropriate for an 11 yo girl to be dressed skimpy. And, like a PP mentioned, what about sun protection?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about one of the bikinis that Arena or Speedo makes? They're not quite as revealing as a triangle bikini top, but they're more fashionable than a swim team one piece...

Like this --
http://www.amazon.com/Speedo-Girls-Scrunchy-Camikini-Swimsuit/dp/B0061IMVT8/ref=pd_sbs_a_8

or this
http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/25150.htm

Totally cute.

Here's the answer: If she's happy in her swim team speedo, that's fine. But f your DD wants one of these suits, go ahead an buy it for her. And then teach her about sunscreen. Buy lots and put it in every pool bag and your purse. She'll need the sun stick/lotion/spray with any suit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What about one of the bikinis that Arena or Speedo makes? They're not quite as revealing as a triangle bikini top, but they're more fashionable than a swim team one piece...

Like this --
http://www.amazon.com/Speedo-Girls-Scrunchy-Camikini-Swimsuit/dp/B0061IMVT8/ref=pd_sbs_a_8

or this
http://www.swimoutlet.com/product_p/25150.htm

Totally cute.

Here's the answer: If she's happy in her swim team speedo, that's fine. But f your DD wants one of these suits, go ahead an buy it for her. And then teach her about sunscreen. Buy lots and put it in every pool bag and your purse. She'll need the sun stick/lotion/spray with any suit.

Nope! Not how our house functions. She wants lots of things she doesn't get!

[Anonymous]

Any chance the padded top is for camouflaging high beams?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why is she a "poor tween" if she is covered up for her own and her familiy's religious and cultural beliefs? I don't want to hijack here, but I think it's great when I see girls covered up to swim because I think it shows amazing character!

Because it's 90+ degrees out and she has to be roasting. I appreciate the need for modesty, but ankle to wrist swimwear is ridiculous overkill. A pair of board shorts and a rash guard top are sufficiently modest.

Wearing ankle to wrist clothing in hot weather in the US is attention whoring. It's an in-your-face act designed to set the person apart from the rest of society and to force them to notice how special you are.

I'm sorry but this really is not about you. Muslims don't wear certain clothing to be "in your face." They are practicing religion the way they think it should be practiced. Period. Are the Amish women at the zoo attention whores too? because they are just as covered and hot looking as a woman wearing hijab.