The downsides to being pretty....
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Anonymous
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14:28 There is definitely some truth here. There are different kinds of hurdles in the job place for smart, attractive women. I think of that Working Girl quote whenever this issue annoys me - "I've got a mind for business and a body for sin." For whatever stupid reason, it cheers me up.
I tend to be thankful of the advantages - job offers from men who enjoyed being around me, professors who liked me, etc... The hardest part is definitely finding solid girl friends. I can count them on one hand. |
Anonymous
| I'm an above average woman who has to work extra hard for promotions. My boss and boss' boss are both male, and I believe that they go out of their way to avoid the appearance of favoring me. So...it's taken me an extra two years to get promoted. |
Anonymous
| What do you want to bet 14:51 is fat, ugly and JELLY??????? |
Anonymous
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Really???
OH Lord..put some sense into her "gorgeous" head... |
Anonymous
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Seriously, I think some of these "above average" women are making pretty big leaps to assume that their problems stem from their beauty. It seems like it's offered as an excuse for other failures: I didn't get promoted earlier because I'm too pretty; I don't make friends easily because they think I give off a standoffish vibe but it's really because I'm too pretty; my male colleagues don't take me seriously because I'm too pretty (because this has never been an issue for an average woman, right?).
I've worked with some BEAUTIFUL women and unless there was something else going on (e.g., overly flirtatious behavior, inappropriate dress, arrogant) I didn't see the sort of "too pretty" hazards being described. That said, when the average looking girl pulls the same stuff (too flirty, clothes too tight, arrogance) she runs into the same problems - but doesn't turn around and blame it on her good looks. |
Anonymous
| She seems very ordinary. I see more beautiful women at Starbucks every day. And, no, as an attractive woman, myself, I don't hate them. I admire beauty (especially very natural beauty and exotic beauty) in all of its forms. This is plain silly! |
Anonymous
I agree with this. I'd consider myself an above average women and I've never had a problem with other women or at work. I personally think it's because I don't think about my looks all that much and that's not who I am. I'm smart, funny, warm, friendly, and highly competent. And I think that's what I project to other people. This reminds me of a roommate I had in my early 20s who used to go to work everyday as a legal assistant dressed to the nines, made up perfectly, dyed blond hair, etc. She was a good looking girl and she was into it. Great. But then a partner asked her to dinner. And she went and she was just shocked when he hit on her. I wasn't shocked at all. That's the energy she was putting out there. |
Anonymous
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Ok, I have been attractive most of my life. Not bragging, but when you are, you do know it. I am also intelligent.
I purposefully down played my looks at work. When young, I wore very tailored clothes, my hair back and often put on my glasses. I wanted to be taken seriously and it paid off. I never flirted with men at work, but I was friendly, and got along with the guys well. I also am a good worker and friend, and had many lovely female friends in the office. I would say, with some, I had to prove my smarts a bit more (with the smart, not so attractive women), but I earned it eventually. Anyway, I never blamed any thing on my looks, never wanted the attention so always down-played. I feel sad when I see women trying so hard to get noticed, but I realize I sit from a vantage point of being pretty without a lot of effort. My daughter is really beautiful and I am working hard to instill the right values in her, as well. This is not about vanity, she was just born that way and gets a lot of attention for her looks which she is aware of and which we struggle with how to manage at her age (7). I am sure she will have her ugly duckling time (I did!) as a pre-teen, and it was the best thing that happened to me, in some ways. |
Anonymous
This is just such bullshit. One of my best friends is a true knockout. People notice her EVERYWHERE. She has many close girlfriends. Because she's funny, smart, and a great and loyal friend. I just can't believe some of you think the reason you don't have friends is because you're so attractive. Get over yourself and have a reality check. |
Anonymous
| for those that are saying they are attractive but don't find it a hindrance...my guess is...you probably aren't really that attractive to begin with. |
Anonymous
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I've actually seen the reverse.
My sister-in-law is stunning, well dressed, etc. Really beautiful. While she's bright enough she's never been a great student. However, she been incredibly successful professionally (law) and received all sorts of promotions. My husband is in medicine and the very attractive female students and residents always got great residencies, fellowships, jobs regardless of their academic standing--often well beyond their qualifications. I think the secret is that these women (while beautiful) dress and act appropriately and so their looks are an asset. My SIL for instance is warm, kind, impeccably dressed AND beautiful. Women like her, men love her. |
Anonymous
| all of you saying you average look like the woman in this article and have a warped sense of what you look like. |
Anonymous
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My guess is that the super attractive women who do find it a hindrance have something else going on that explains why they have a difficult time connecting with other people. But it's easier to blame their issues on how attractive they are.
Also, if women think it's rough being so attractive - try being fat. It's like you're invisible. |
Anonymous
Thank you! I was starting to think that I was the only person who knew what that meant anymore. |
Anonymous
I agree with this. I have a gorgeous friend who didn't have the grades and test scores to attend the medical school she did. She's gotten lucky at every turn in her life. I always thought it was her looks that helped her out, else she's just incredibly lucky. On the flip side, she's never satisfied (which has nothing to do with her looks). |