Affording children - how does anyone do it?

[Anonymous]

In the risk of offending the PP who did not like people saying "it'll all work out", I found that was the case for me. Dh and I together pre-baby earned 130k, rent was $1500, and we had 20k+ in other debt (mainly our loan for IVF, a whole 'nother issue). I also had an positive assessment/raise while I was out. I went back to work 66%, so with my raise and reduced schedule it was $30k salary drop (we now make $100k combined). DH and I agreed it would be temporary unless we made it work, and I honestly expected we'd only get away with it a month or two before I'd have to go back FT. Surprisingly, we've survived 6 months so far with no plans of my going back FT yet. Here's what has made it work for us:

As soon as we were pg we started aggressively paying down credit debt. We didn't reach our goal of finishing by the baby's arrival, but could pay the cards off right now with our emergency fund if we had to

Paid off my car with my short-term disability (got 100% salary for 8 weeks during which I bought little other than diapers and takeout)
[list]Had our baby in December so got a small refund on our taxes and extra $300 in our rebate check. Both arrived when I returned to work in April, efectively paying for the first couple months of daycare.

Used "Baby Bargains" to guide our shopping and accepted hand-me-downs (free bassinet, stroller, crib, swing.)

BF and pumped, held off on solids 'til 6 months (initial investment in LC/bottles/pump, but "free" after that)

Working tTarhree days means less spent on gas, office wardrobe (hello Target/Old Navy!), dry cleaning, lattes and lunches out, plus childcare costs of only ~600/mo

Started daycare FSA - will save us ~$1600 this year (three more months of daycare)
[list]I buy diapers/wipes by the case thru Amazon's subscribe & save

We monitor grocery store sales, do "Let's Dish" and shop Costco instead of going out to dinner so much

Very few social expenses (sad, but true)

I'm not sure how long we'll be able to keep afloat, but so far without major effort/sacrifice, we've done ok. I really do think that two gainfully employed adults can figure it out. Good luck and try not to stress - there's plenty to stress about AFTER the baby arrives!

[Anonymous]

yes, the FSA for childcare is a big help. I think you can put in $5000 for the year. I know that only gets you a couple of months in this area...but it's worth it anyways. tax free is tax free

my husband and I have also gotten a couple of raises, and although you can't count on getting those, they have happened regularly and made things easier.

[Anonymous]

To repeat other posters, ANYONE can afford to have children if they are willing to sacrifice a bit, and frankly, most of the posters on this site can afford to do it with very little sacrifice, thankfully. I can recall browsing through an American Girl doll catalogue (not sure why since I have a boy!) and noticing that this doll's equipment was MORE expensive than the used/discount stuff I bought for my own real baby!! Your nursery does not have to look like a page out of a pottery barn catalogue, and in a pinch, does not even need to be a separate room in the house! Happiness really does come from the joy of being with your baby ... not the clothes he is wearing, the playgroups he attends, the size of his yard, or the pedigree of his dog. I don't blame you for being nervous though ... that is a sign that you are making the jump in a thoughtful manner. Just don't overthink it too much!