"You look fabulous"-- after a huge weight loss

[Anonymous]

I would think after all that surgery, the patient would want to hear how great they look without mention of how they looked before.

FWIW, I have a friend who is sick and people often comment on her weight. She likes to assume the commenter "forgot" about her illness. Her illness makes her weight fluctuate, and you can not tell she is sick from looking at her at any given time. She actually has no control over her looks or weight, or health (!) ever. It is sad and scary for her. In her case, I would never mention her weight or looks. She is most concerned with her health, anyway (she is the least shallow person I know).

But in your friends case, it is perfectly appropriate to mention weight.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend who had gastric bypass too. She has said to me that while she likes the compliments sometimes people go overboard with them and it makes her feel like people didnt value her before she lost the weight.
I compliment her weight but I also let her know that I love her now just as much as I did before she lost weight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a person who is trying to lose 60 lbs I'm telling you that she probably will not be offended by your compliment. I know I look like shit and that's why I'm trying to lose the weight. She probably wasn't in the clouds about her weight before. To me, it's like congratulating someone when they've achieved something really big. The way she looks is secondary to her great achievement of losing the weight.

The world definitely treats fat people differently. What you hear a lot from people who lost a lot of weight is that they felt invisible (which is really ironic sine they were twice the size). People don't aknowledge, respect or take seriously people who are fat. It's like they're saying "you eat too much, so you must be a fuck up in every other aspect of your life."

Goodluck pp! You will get there! (Formerly fat child who teased all the time). Now I lost all the weight but the memories stick.

[Anonymous]

I don't know... I lost about 35 lbs and people kept telling me I looked good. I often felt like they were saying I was fat before (I was). It also felt like people were only talking about my appearance when I was thinner.

Maybe those are my insecurities speaking.