I know I'm in the minority, but I don't want visible muscle definition

[Anonymous]

Men are not going to explicitly say muscles, but they certainly are going to say flab, that is for sure. Part of having a god body does not include fat or flabby skinny girls. I work with men and they talk about every female that walks in our office and I can assure you that the fit girls are what grabs their attention, not the women with a gut and triceps that are more like floppy wings.

Furthermore a but her face grabs more attention than a fat girl who has apretty face.

[Anonymous]

Not being fat or flabby doesn't necessarily mean you're muscular, so it's a pretty big leap to process "the men at work don't like fat or flabby women" as "the men at work like muscular women."

Unless you're saying all the women you see them admiring are ripped like Madonna.

[Anonymous]

From 30 Rock: "“You can try to fight getting older. You can be like Madonna and cling to youth with your Gollum arms…”

[Anonymous]

Add me as another who doesnt like having visible muscle definition. Its always a concern of mine, because I tone pretty easily, especially in my arms. I like soft curves and a flat stomach. I'm a small size 4, with my ideal size being a 6. I purposely added pounds when I dropped to barely a size 2. I had lots of women asking what exersice/diet program I was on, while there were men saying "please don't lose anymore weight".

I gain last in my stomach. The first 20lbs go towards my curves (ass, hips, breast, thighs). In my culture, that's hot. I'm African-American. Most of the skinny girls when I was coming up tried desperately to gain. And no, the goal wasn't to have flabby arms or a gut, but to be curvy.

[Anonymous]

Isn't that an issue of genetics? Most people cannot strategically gain curves without the addition of muscle.

[Anonymous]

^^^It probably is.

I think I was probably meant to be a larger, curvier size anyway though. My diet (vegetarian) is the primary reason I'm smaller. If I added poultry and fish back to my diet, I'd gain without trying.

[Anonymous]

Well I plan to keep my muscle as it keeps me strong doing the things I love and it keeps my metabolism strong as I age. Metabolism slows as you age. The best way to keep maintain it is to add muscle. Without muscle you'll have a hard time maintaining your weight as you age.

[Anonymous]

Op here. Love reading these responses and I think each post has validity. As I said, I'm young and naturally slim. I didn't indicate whether or not I workout so the posts that implied I'm unhealthy because I am not muscular are a great example of the prevailing mindset (as I understand it). Since we lose muscle tone as we age, I know I'll eventually have to work to break even but I, nor my husband, will ever think that Madonna arms are sexy. Every woman I see has something beautiful about her and it's great that men's preferences are equally varied!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm young and naturally very thin, so maybe this will change as I age and my body shape changes, but I do not want to be 'toned' in the sense that you can see muscle definition. My husband doesn't like that on women either. I guess I don't feel 'womanly' if I'm too toned. Anyone else?

The look is too butch for me and DH.

[Anonymous]

Agree.. I don't like seeing a lot of muscle definition on women. Reminds me of the women on the TV show gladiator. Definitely toned muscles are appealing, but not a lot of muscle definition, especially if the woman is super skinny.

[Anonymous]

Haha, so many people worried about "madonna arms" clearly these people have not spent much time in a gym....as if it does not take hours of exercise a day and may be to be a, I dunno, professional preformer/dancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Haha, so many people worried about "madonna arms" clearly these people have not spent much time in a gym....as if it does not take hours of exercise a day and may be to be a, I dunno, professional preformer/dancer.

No one said they were worried about "madonna arms." I'm not because I know I will never have madonna arms unless I become obsessed with becoming muscular. I have seen skinny women with a lot of muscle and it does not look attractive at all. I think they would look much better if they had toned arms with a little more fat on them.

[Anonymous]

I got more attention from men as a muscular woman than I ever did as a "normal" looking woman. Especially from men who were fit themselves. They start out asking me what my exercise regimen is and before you know it, they are asking me to work out with them sometime. This always escalates into asking for a date. I think some of them get off on the fact that I can do as many push ups as they can or that my little 4-pack was more pronounced than their 6-pack.

When we first met, DH liked the fact that I was active and that we could do many outdoorsy activities together, like triathlons, mountain-climbing, white water rafting, etc
These activities are what made my body develop visible muscles, not because I spent everyday at the gym.

IMHO you don't have to look like a body builder but a little tone to your body is attractive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I got more attention from men as a muscular woman than I ever did as a "normal" looking woman. Especially from men who were fit themselves. They start out asking me what my exercise regimen is and before you know it, they are asking me to work out with them sometime. This always escalates into asking for a date. I think some of them get off on the fact that I can do as many push ups as they can or that my little 4-pack was more pronounced than their 6-pack.

When we first met, DH liked the fact that I was active and that we could do many outdoorsy activities together, like triathlons, mountain-climbing, white water rafting, etc
These activities are what made my body develop visible muscles, not because I spent everyday at the gym.

IMHO you don't have to look like a body builder but a little tone to your body is attractive.

Exactly! Nobody is taking bodybuilder here or even "Madonna Arms" we are talking nice defined muscle tone. VERY few women could even get a bodybuilder look without drugs. I don't know a single body builder mom, but I do know some moms with an amazing athletic body.

[Anonymous]

I totally agree with 17:53 - I was always reasonably thin, but once I started lifting and working out more, I got a lot more attention from guys who were very fit, and frankly, from guys in general. I've never had boobs (and never will) so the really toned arms (and stomach and legs) were my niche. I'm 39 and have a kid, and definitely get hit on way more than I would if I weren't in very good shape. I think guys like that I take very good care of myself - they know I'll age well and probably not "let myself go" like a lot of people once they're married or settled. (not saying you have to have madonna/demi arms - which usually require a serious fitness regime AND limited calorie intake.)