Things that you do unintentionally that could be perceived as rude

[Anonymous]

Also a bad call returner. Hate the phone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If I'm in an elevator with the arrow figures for door open/close (instead of the words), and you are approaching wanting to get on the elevator, there is a 50/50 chance I'll hit the right button to keep the doors open. It's truly unintentional, I just can't figure out those pictures for the life of me. Sometimes if I have my wits about me I'll just use a foot to keep the door open.

I totally do this, too. I don't know why I find them so cryptic.

[Anonymous]

21:28, another interrupter here. I can't read body language or social cues well. There are visual cues that go along with speech and communicate much of the message along with the words themselves. Most of you read these cues effortlessly. For me, and many others, it's like a foreign language I've been trying to understand my whole life. I spend many conversations thinking very hard about whether or not it's my turn to talk. Most people probably don't.

[Anonymous]

I interrupt sometimes too. I also repeat myself often (don't know why - DH calls me on it a lot)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I hate talking on the phone too! Glad I am not the only one.

Yes, agree with all the posters with this issue. I also have ADD, and it's so hard for me not to be distracted by something in my physical environment while on the phone. I repeatedly lose several seconds of whatever my friend is saying, and it's so awful. I'd hate for them to think that I don't care about what they're saying. So much better to talk in person, but now with children, I can't just call and friend and say, Hey, meet me at the cafe in 30 minutes.

[Anonymous]

I interrupt. It isn't intentional--my entire family growing up were interrupters. Imagine a big Italian family, kinda like Moonstruck. I have spent a lifetime trying to change this habit, but I am not always successful.

My family ALL interrupts and it's taken me a long time to learn to wait and listen to what other people say. You can imagine that my family, esp. my dad, are TERRIBLE listeners in a group, and each person is fighting to say something. It's ironic, we're all fighting to be heard, and no one is listening! I didn't realize this until college, and I really notice it when I go home or when I'm talking with my family as a group. (My dad one-on-one really needs to be called out that he is not listening, he is just taking and ranting!)

I took an anthropology class in college, and the professor pointed out that some cultures (Northerners, New Yorkers, Italian families were HIS examples) interrupt or say what others just said to show that they AGREE or have something in common. So if someone in a group says, "I'm from Buffalo", before the person can finish, they say something like "Buffalo, great town, I went there on business last month" right away. It's kind of like a verbal nodding of the head. But obviously it can be "and let me turn the conversation back to me!"

I have to say, some people love it at parties that I talk a lot and have fewer awkward pauses. It used to make me terribly uncomfortable if people were quiet in a group in a social setting. I've learned that I don't have to say something to kill the silence and make it less awkward, and the bonus is, I'm less apt to say something stupid that just pops into my head just to make others (and myself) feel more comfortable! I also usually have a joke or two (sometimes self-deprecating, surprise) because I'd rather make fun of myself than sit in an awkward silence.

On the other hand, I am all self-conscious about interrupting now almost to a fault, and sometimes it would be useful to speak up or get a word in edge-wise (work meetings, for example), so I don't want to completely wait until everyone is done talking or I will never be heard. Careful not to be the meek mouse!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I interrupt. It isn't intentional--my entire family growing up were interrupters. I have spent a lifetime trying to change this habit, but I am not always successful.

I'm this way, too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interrupt. It isn't intentional--my entire family growing up were interrupters. I have spent a lifetime trying to change this habit, but I am not always successful.

I'm this way, too.

A question for all of you interrupters: what causes you to interrupt? When you agree with what someone is saying and you want to let them know you understand? When you disagree with someone or want to correct them? When someone's story reminds you of a better story you have? When the conversation is boring and you want to change the subject? When you weren't paying attention and didn't realize that someone else was already talking?

My boss does this and it drives me BANANAS!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I interrupt. It isn't intentional--my entire family growing up were interrupters. I have spent a lifetime trying to change this habit, but I am not always successful.

Me too. I'm trying hard as well, and trying to teach my kids at the same time. I'm not the best role model yet...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I interrupt. It isn't intentional--my entire family growing up were interrupters. I have spent a lifetime trying to change this habit, but I am not always successful.

I'm this way, too.

A question for all of you interrupters: what causes you to interrupt? When you agree with what someone is saying and you want to let them know you understand? When you disagree with someone or want to correct them? When someone's story reminds you of a better story you have? When the conversation is boring and you want to change the subject? When you weren't paying attention and didn't realize that someone else was already talking?

My boss does this and it drives me BANANAS!

If I knew what caused it I probably wouldn't be an interrupter anymore. When the most formative years of your life, you see people interrupt, and that is is completely acceptable and completely normal, you honestly don't know anything different, you don't know its wrong to interrupt or that it is considered rude to interrupt. Eventually you learn that it is rude, but now you have this habit of saying whatever pops into your mind whenever you want to. Maybe its impulse control.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I'm in an elevator with the arrow figures for door open/close (instead of the words), and you are approaching wanting to get on the elevator, there is a 50/50 chance I'll hit the right button to keep the doors open. It's truly unintentional, I just can't figure out those pictures for the life of me. Sometimes if I have my wits about me I'll just use a foot to keep the door open.

I totally do this, too. I don't know why I find them so cryptic.

I also do this. Why can't the buttoms just read "door open" and "door close"? In grade school, I could never remember the difference between < and > and "greater than" and "less than" either. This is truly unintentional behavior. It just takes me too long to figure out which button to push.

[Anonymous]

I see myself in some of these posts -- I both hate talking on the phone AND interrupt! Maybe they are related (harder to have two people talking at the same time on the phone?). I find that I gravitate towards people who are not offended by my interruptions and am annoyed by those who can't cope/try to get me to shush, probably because I attribute most of the interruptions to benign motives. I fit the category of people who may well respond to "I was just in Buffalo" with a brief discourse on how I was just there, loved it, etc. I'm not even that interested in hearing my own voice; I'm making an honest attempt to connect. So, instead of a nod, I jump in exuberantly with an aside and then allow the other person to continue with their story. I often fail to catch myself at it till after the fact, and do it much more when I'm slightly nervous. Definitely a verbal tic.

[Anonymous]

sometimes interrupting becomes necessary when you're in a group that never has pauses in their conversation. I used to be friends with a group of girls like this. Unless you occasionally interrupted, you would NEVER get a word in edgewise. Unfortunately, that stuck with me so sometimes I still do it when I'm in a situation where it's not as appropriate. And frankly, some people will talk and talk and talk and NEVER pause to let the other person in, if given the chance. I have a friend who would literally talk for an hour straight if given the chance, and I find that exhausting. Easier to interrupt occasionally.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If I'm in an elevator with the arrow figures for door open/close (instead of the words), and you are approaching wanting to get on the elevator, there is a 50/50 chance I'll hit the right button to keep the doors open. It's truly unintentional, I just can't figure out those pictures for the life of me. Sometimes if I have my wits about me I'll just use a foot to keep the door open.

I totally do this, too. I don't know why I find them so cryptic.

I also do this. Why can't the buttoms just read "door open" and "door close"? In grade school, I could never remember the difference between < and > and "greater than" and "less than" either. This is truly unintentional behavior. It just takes me too long to figure out which button to push.

Totally agree! Why not just 'open' or 'close'? The extra 2 seconds it takes my brain to process which is which from the diagram can result in my missing the window

[Anonymous]

Totally true about the elevator buttons. Lol.

Anyway, I apparently make a wtf face whenever I disagree with someone. I am under the impression that I am patiently waiting for them to finish talking before disputing their claims, but my face always gives me away. This drives my husband crazy!