Sheer Terror

[Anonymous]

If you are feeling up to a rather funny take on first trimester terror, I recommend this blog:

http://www.alittlepregnant.com/alittlepregnant/jesus_gay_im_pregnant/

After several miscarriages, early pregnancy is absolutely terrifying to me. I know it is tough. Hang in there.

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Thanks again guys, you have been so nice to me. I know this fear isn't out of the norm for sure, and it's interesting to read that blog that was linked about the first trimester...for sure I am feeling the same things. Today I went shopping and feel run down and I'm like damn it did I do too much today?

The funny thing is I'm so focused on getting through the first trimester and then the pregnancy that it's totally off my radar to start thinking about hospitals and deliveries and such. I don't want to jinx it. I feel like I'll be the moron who walks by an Emergency Room and pops her head in and says "Psst, I might be having a baby, would you help me?" because I'm still so damn unsure of this!

[Anonymous]

I'm about 6 weeks pregnant now after 3 miscarriages and know what you are going thru. Every day I pray it is a good day and I make it another day. You definately need distraction to keep your mind off of it. Hang in there and I hope things continue going well for you.

[Anonymous]

OP here.
there are definitely a lot of posters who had multiple miscarriages - which is obviously my fear. Can anyone chime in on the reasons? For instance, I see a lot of mentions of 5 or 6 week miscarriages. I have assumed that these were essentially chemical pregnancies and while the beta was positive there was no heartbeat. Then there seem to be another set of women who miscarry at 9 - 11 weeks.

Any ideas why?

[Anonymous]

I once had a specialist GYN (not OB) tell me that it's probably that more than 50% of pregnancies end in miscarriage, but that a lot of women don't know it because they spontaneous m/c before a missed period is noticed, so the m/c seems like a late period. I don't know, but as someone who has suffered two m/c (blighted ovum) and a bad CVS result (T18), I suspect for me it was old eggs. My lost pregnancies were at 37, 42 and 43. I had one stick at 37/38 and another stick at 43/44. So many things have to happen right for a pregnancy to stick and go to term, then there are so many things that can go wrong that have nothing to do with the baby.

I wish the OP the best. Having had so many losses, I still don't believe I am holding my 2 month old. I expect her to go poof as I awake from the dream. I have already shaken her awake at least twice because I am so afraid something will happen to her. I know the feeling is unfounded because I have a beautiful 6 year old that seemed to survive my parenting.

As for telling anyone, I had to tell a wonderful college friend who called the other day that I have a new baby. She was shocked. I had to explain that I was in such disbelief that I was pregnant that I wasn't telling anyone til I was sure it would end well, and by then I was six month pregnant. How do you call someone at 6 months pregnant and say "all those time I spoke to you, I didn't want to tell you because I had an irrational fear of losing the baby." My husband thought I was insane for not announcing it by email or facebook or some way.

Anyway, the terror doesn't stop, it just morphs into being a parent. When the kicking starts, it's reassuring, but then when the baby is asleep, you wonder why the baby isn't kicking more. Once the baby is born, and the baby actually sleeps more than 3 hours, you'll wonder why she hasn't woken up yet to eat, so you'll lie there losing sleep debating whether to wake her up or not. It will always be something. But it is all worth it in the end. Good Luck.

[Anonymous]

Blighted ovums cause half of all miscarriages and are usually found at 5/6 weeks. Chemicals are earlier, like 4/5 weeks. Later losses can be missed miscarriages. The reasons for late losses get a bit more complicated. It could be chromosomal issues, blood clotting disorders, etc.

If you've seen a heartbeat, you are safely past the blighted ovum and chemical stages. Those are the cause of the majority of losses, according to statistics.

I've had 1 blighted ovum, 2 chemicals and 2 normal deliveries.

[Anonymous]

p.s. I think early miscarriages are clear misfires, like blighted ovum, while later miscarriages are partial misfires, like trisomies 18 or 13. Late miscarriages are likely some maternal problem, like placental problems or incompetent cervix.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:p.s. I think early miscarriages are clear misfires, like blighted ovum, while later miscarriages are partial misfires, like trisomies 18 or 13. Late miscarriages are likely some maternal problem, like placental problems or incompetent cervix.

\\I am the 1920 poster

[Anonymous]

OP here.

Well then from what you guys say, I'm past the big hurdles and now just have to see if the embryo has any chromosome problems that weren't bad enough to prevent implantation (my issue with previous IVF's) or not. And truthfully if there were a chromosome problem like a trisomy, we may likely elect to terminate. Not a popular decision I'm sure, but I know my limitations and so that would be it.

To PP - shoot! It didn't occur to me that feeling the kick, while wonderful, would elicit some fear when there isn't a kick. Arrgh! LOL. I'm going to try to stay calmer about this.