The disease called “Perfection”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:"What drug are you taking and can I have some? "

No drugs, just lots of exercise, sex and sleep. And a wonderful husband and kids.

Do you work?

Yes, inside and outside the home. Why?

OK, the disengenous "why" shows you up for what you really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I read the article and I agree with the PP who says it isn't about WOHM and having it all. It was about the pressure some put on themselves to be perfect or to be what others expect of you. for instance, a girl who would rather commit suicide then go to school with everyone knowing she was pregnant. No one is perfect and it is better to be openly flawed and comfortable with who you are, but so many people are not comfortable with who they are and as such put up a facade and how hard it is to live to others expectations. It was thought provoking and not at all what this thread seems to be focusing on.

How can you be 30 or older and not realize that living to others' expectations is utterly crazy?

Not the PP you quoted, and I agree, but I think one point of the article is not just other's expectations but looking around and thinking everyone's career, marriage, kids etc. seem perfect and if you are struggling there is something wrong.

I'm a pretty happy person and my life is going well, though we've hit a rough patch in our marriage and even though I know it's not true all the time anyway, it seems like ALL our friends have rock solid marriages and just never have issues. It's easy to get sucked in.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I agree one of the PPs comes off like Marie Antoinette. But I'm WOHM most days -- and I have to agree about outsourcing some of the burden, if you can, either to paid help or to DH.

Somebody on DCUM used to pop up all the time to plug a book called "House Cleaners Are Cheaper Than a Divorce," or something like that. Having someone else clean your house removes a huge part of the burden, and basically stops me from screaming at DH and the kids on a daily basis.

Also, see if you can outsource ... I mean "share" ... more of this burden with DH. My DH does a lot of the cooking. Maybe talk to your DH about how stressed you are, and see where he can help, with shopping or chauffering or something else.

I agree with PP - if Ms. Antoinette can hire maids, nannies, and family to help her 'balance' her life - is that really achieving a work/life balance. Sure, but then how would she expect that everyone could / should do the same? It's as though she doesn't realize other people can't afford to buy their balance.

LOL so freaking jealous. Ms. Antoinette here. My paid help consists of before- and afterschool care and a biweekly cleaning service. You know what I don't have? Free time. Time with girlfriends. Time to watch TV. You know what I do have? A good marriage, two wonderful children whom I adore, a kick butt career and a well kept house. That's my idea of "having it all."

You know what you don't have? Character. So apparently, you can't have it all, even though (especially if?) you think you do.

[Anonymous]

NP. I'm on DCUM as a little "break" between things I need to look at for work. Yes, I live in DC, so this isn't a time zone thing and I'm not a shift worker. To me, a 45 hour per week job is the epitome of family friendly, so please stop telling everyone you have the secrets and anyone else who has a different reality than you do is just a complainer who wants to blame society.

The article was about supporting each other and being real, not insisting on a thread how perfect you are.

[Anonymous]

I'm not perfect. My gums are receding.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"What field do you work in? A family-friendly one perhaps? "

Nope, I have a 45 hour a week corporate gig.

"Seriously exhibit A right here: one woman says to the other "I can do it, why can't you?" Way to have empathy lady. "

No, you misunderstood. She said work/life balance is a crock. That's a generalization. It might be for her, but it isn't for all working moms. That was my point.

Does this 45-hour/week corporate gig include commuting?

I work PT, and my commute is 5 minutes with no traffic.

I'd say THAT'S family friendly.

[Anonymous]

Do men worry about this?

CHANGE your standards.

[Anonymous]

"OK, the disengenous "why" shows you up for what you really are. "

You mean, like the snarky, "Do you work?" as if a full time working mom with two kids under age 5 can't possibly get enough sex, sleep, etc. Please.

[Anonymous]

"You know what you don't have? Character. So apparently, you can't have it all, even though (especially if?) you think you do. "

Why? Because I refuse to buy in to the "woe is me, everyone else's life is perfect, I have to keep up" bs?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do men worry about this?

CHANGE your standards.

You darn right. Make your own standards.

[Anonymous]

"Does this 45-hour/week corporate gig include commuting?

I work PT, and my commute is 5 minutes with no traffic.

I'd say THAT'S family friendly. "

I work 45 hours a week, plus commute, which is 15 minutes each way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP. I'm on DCUM as a little "break" between things I need to look at for work. Yes, I live in DC, so this isn't a time zone thing and I'm not a shift worker. To me, a 45 hour per week job is the epitome of family friendly, so please stop telling everyone you have the secrets and anyone else who has a different reality than you do is just a complainer who wants to blame society.

The article was about supporting each other and being real, not insisting on a thread how perfect you are.

And you think I stumbled into a 45 hour a week gig paying good money totally by accident?