Terrified about 15 mo DD's development

[Anonymous]

Thank you 15:27 for sharing. And 15:36. The ped suggested I contact a pediatric ortho but said it was just to be safe. When I called children's, they said that they don't see anyone under 18 months unless they have a nuero scan. I'm going to ask the ped again about that and she if she thinks I should wait until 18 months or not.

She was late with eating too. Well, not late, but wouldn't eat babyfood at all. I gave up on it and basically went from nursing to roasted chicken. I would have never thought anything of her not eating babyfood, but I'll mention that to the ped too.

[Anonymous]

Oh and one other thing that I wouldn't have thought significant before, but who knows. When she was an infant up until about 12 months she constantly had her tongue out. Early on I did mention it to the ped but she assured me that it wasn't a problem because it didn't seem like she wasn't physically incapable of keeping it in her mouth.

[Anonymous]

I think the OP needs to get a grip and get some therapy for herself. Really, take your child to be evaluated by a developmental pediatrician, call your county's early intervention program and find yourself a good therapist. You sound over the top and you need to get control of your fears. Your child's problems may be mostly in your head, but see some specialists to see if it is or not. And if your child has some delays, then you really really really need to get a grip.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. I am at a loss that I have to write this. What is wrong with you people? If I had known that only parents of the most severly disabled kids were allowed to post on this board, I never would have. Without any ounce of sarcasm, I am truly sorry for any offense that I may have caused anyone. But I will not apologize for my feelings and my concerns. I am so sorry (seriously, not sarcastic) for the challenges that most of the parents on this board face and I understand that my situation pales in comparison to many. But, holy shit, I am scared for the wellbeing of my child.

I'm sorry if my post came accross as "tell me my child isn't like yours." That was not my intention. But, frankly, of course I hope my child doesn't have any serious problems. I came here looking for information, support, and, I don't even know what. But not an attack, that's for sure. I'm frustrated, and scared, and sad. Something isn't right with my sweet baby. And the worst part about it is that nobody seems to think her delays are serious enough to do anything. But everyone agrees that there ARE delays. In multiple areas. I'm sorry if I came across as some nuerotic mom that's freaking out that her DD isn't the star of her My Gym class. I majored in child development in college and was raised by a mother who spent 30 years working with developmentally disabled young adults. I am beside myself that I could have offended anyone with my post. I am a good person and a good mother. I was just trying to reach out for help/support/whatever. I am in a very voulnerable state, and some of these posts were like being punched in the gut. I literally burst out in tears at dinner, and have been crying as I type this.

To those with constructive responses: I have never heard of a developmental pediatrician. I appreciate the posters advice regarding this and will start contacting ones first thing on Monday. To the poster that asked about crawling and strength--DD has been slow with EVERYTHING. She was a late crawler. Didn't crawl with her belly off the ground until at least 10 months, probably closer to 11. The PT said that she does have strength/muscle issues. She has very weak core strength and is significantly dominant on her right side (her left foot is the one that turns out) and she has problems with balance. Also, one of her legs is slightly longer than the other. I also feel like I may be overstating her vocabulary. She said "up" around 12 months but doesn't really say it with much consistency. And we'll see if "ba" for bottle sticks, as she just started saying that the other day. But not any other words in 3 months. But, as I said earlier, she does seem to know some words via pointing.

I know that my child isn't the most severe case, but it breaks my heart to watch her struggle to walk. I fight back tears watching her on a playdates when the other children can clearly communicate that they are hungry or want a toy or whatever, and my child just says "UNGH!" over and over and waives her hands and points to I don't know what. I don't know how to explain my concerns without offending anyone, but my DD is not doing what other children her age are doing. Beyond walking and talking, there is a difference in the level of activity, exploration, play, etc. that is very apparent to me. I shouldn't have to justify why, but I am....let's say, something less than "terrified" but, nonetheless, concerned.

Your child is 15 months. Saying Ungh is totally fine and age appropriate. Having said that if you truly feel that there is something wrong, have it checked out, but your original description and even this follow-up description, makes me think that your child doesn't have delays in speech. Now the walking maybe, but you are already doing something about that.

[Anonymous]

This is usually a very kind and supportive forum. I love my fellow SN moms but I do think we're being a bit hard on the OP. Weren't we all frightened and worried in the very beginning? That being said, OP, it really does sound like your child is within the normal range at 15 months. Lots of typically developing kids are right where your DD is - there's a pretty broad range of "normal" for walking and talking. I would take a wait and see approach, as hard as that may seem. Just try to relax and enjoy your daughter and reassess where she is in about three months when delays start to become more apparent as expectations of your child increase. 15 months is still really young, and you don't describe any major red flags that would necessitate a referral to a developmental pediatrician.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is usually a very kind and supportive forum. I love my fellow SN moms but I do think we're being a bit hard on the OP. Weren't we all frightened and worried in the very beginning? That being said, OP, it really does sound like your child is within the normal range at 15 months. Lots of typically developing kids are right where your DD is - there's a pretty broad range of "normal" for walking and talking. I would take a wait and see approach, as hard as that may seem. Just try to relax and enjoy your daughter and reassess where she is in about three months when delays start to become more apparent as expectations of your child increase. 15 months is still really young, and you don't describe any major red flags that would necessitate a referral to a developmental pediatrician.

PP again. I just re-read your post, OP, and saw that you're sick of hearing about the wait and see approach, but I really think that's what you need to do. The fact that your DD is very social and always waving and engaging, enjoying reactions of others, and pointing to body parts is huge. Countless numbers of typically developing children aren't walking at 15 months and have very few words - you have every reason to take a deep breath and relax a bit. I think that's why you're getting some of the harsh responses - there's very little in your post that indicates a serious problem. I think it's great that there's so much awareness of developmental issues nowadays but the flip side is posts on the general parenting forum like "My three week old won't make eye contact". I do wish you the best of luck. I know how hard it can be to have a gut feeling that something is not quite right.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP - I hope you've stopped reading. This has been one of the worst threads I have ever read in terms of just utter meanness. I am a SNM btw, so I get being bothered by moms of older babies complaining that they aren't doing algebra yet, but this doesn't sound like the case here. OP has clarified her initial post to add a host of symptoms that she has noticed - perhaps one of those symptoms alone would not be an issue, but OP has a strong feeling that combined, these symptoms are pointing to some kind of issue and wants to know what it is ASAP so that she can help her child. What could possibly be wrong with that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow. OP - I hope you've stopped reading. This has been one of the worst threads I have ever read in terms of just utter meanness. I am a SNM btw, so I get being bothered by moms of older babies complaining that they aren't doing algebra yet, but this doesn't sound like the case here. OP has clarified her initial post to add a host of symptoms that she has noticed - perhaps one of those symptoms alone would not be an issue, but OP has a strong feeling that combined, these symptoms are pointing to some kind of issue and wants to know what it is ASAP so that she can help her child. What could possibly be wrong with that?

Yes, I've got to agree. Sorry, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD is 15 months. We haven't had her 15 month ped appointment yet, so obviously I will be going over everything with her, but I'm really freaking out.

DD isn't walking yet and is seeing a PT, at the suggestion of the ped. The PT doesn't attribute her lack of walking to anything serious. Just some strenght, balance, and personality issues, none of which are uncommon (according to her). Her left foot rotates out when she walks, but again, it's supposedly not uncommon and not the reason for her not walking.

But DH and I are starting to realize that there are many things she is "behind" with. She isn't talking AT ALL. She says "up" and just started saying "ba" for bottle or water bottle, but that's it. No mama, dada, dog, no, etc. She clearly knows words though. She can point to her belly, her nose, her ear, and her toes when asked. She also can clearly identify (by pointing to or whatever) water, doggie, and shoes. She also knows the sign for "all done." She points quite a bit too. She can imitate sounds like shhhh or making rasberries. But she doesn't even attempt to repeat words when we say them. She constantly does this thing where she points to something like she wants us to tell her what it is. We'll say the word and she'll either point to it again or something else, and this contines over and over but she never tries to repeat back the words that we are saying.

As far as social interaction, she's totally fine. She is always waiving at people and smiles and laughs and loves getting reactions.

I hate to compare her to other children her age, but when I do, I feel like she just isn't doing the same things that other kids are. Not just the walking and talking. She doesn't seem to be as active or explore or play as much as other kids I see.

It's hard to explain, but she truly seems like "the lights are on" in her head. But she's just not outwardly doing everything that other kids are. Our friends with kids the same age agree that she doesn't seem intelectually slow (I don't know if that's the right way to say it), but she clearly is not doing what other kids her age are.

I am really scared and, frankly, sad. I don't want to accept the "wait and see" approach. And I am sick of hearing that she's still "within the range of normal" for the walking and talking.

I don't know what I'm expecting to get out of posting this. I'm just really scared.

DD didn't walk until later. Didn't have any teeth to the point I was Googling things like "adontia". She didn't talk until about two years. By age 3.5, her 10 year old cousin asked me "Why does she talk like an adult?" She's four now, and is reading.

Have faith; the only thing to worry about at this point is passing on your anxieties to your child.

[Anonymous]

OP -

I am concerned that you have some pretty serious anxiety issues. We all worry about your children but your posts really seem extreme. I would strongly consider that you speak to your doctor. The post partum period can unleash some serious and unhealthy anxiety in some people.

I want to assure you that you are doing everything right for your child and being vigilant about her needs. At some point you need reexamine the situation and if the second and third opinions about her development aren't reassuring you at least some you may need to consider treatment yourself. From what you describe to me your daughter's development sounds normal. I hate to feed into your anxiety anymore by getting into specifics because with anxiety you will always find something else to focus on so nothing that anyone will say is really going to help.

[Anonymous]

OP, I just cancelled a July 26th 3pm appt with Dr. Conlon - call and see if you can get an appt. I cancelled bc at 16-17 mo my DD was not speaking at all, not mamadada nothing. Pointed a bit and social, but no words and didn't mimick words either. Didn't point to body parts or anything. Ped said go to EIp and they said she had the expressive range of a 10 mo and receptive at 13 mo. Then, DD went to a center based daycare and within 2 weeks was pointing to body parts when asked. Found she had silently been suffering from an ear infection for months and had fluid in ther ears. Got tubes and slowly she is talking and mimicks like crazy. Now at 22 months she has about 20 words and is clearly on the right path. I totally understand your concerns, just see what you need to do.

[Anonymous]

21:28 here yet again.

For starters, I do not think you are crazy. But I do want to share with you that I have seen a therapist myself for anxiety over my own DD's development (which was far behind your DD at 15 months), and I have also gone on antidepressants and antianxiety meds. The therapy and the meds have helped tremendously. I am so grateful I saw my doctor and was willing to try them. They allowed me to eventually pull out of the all-consuming panic you are probably feeling right now.

It's been over a year for me on the this journey. So much has changed in that year. Discovered that there are probably issues we will be dealing with for most of my DD's childhood, but those issues are nowhere near as bad as the possible issues I was panicked about when I was back in your shoes with a 15 month old. I still take the antidepressants, but I've been able to stop the antianxiety meds and cut way, way back on the therapy. Lie has gotten so much better over the past year, and I think you will feel the same way next summer.

[Anonymous]

Op - If you post on the general parenting board or even search for posts about ages children walked and talked you will see dozens of posts by parents whose completely neurotypical children weren't walking or talking by 15 months. To be 15 months and not walking or talking is 100% in the range of normal developmentally. I think that is why at least to me your first post came across as odd as you were freaking out and terrified but only identified two completely normal developmental activities. So it did seem as though you were either upset your child was just 'normal' and not advanced or that you really, really didn't want a child with any developmental delays and you were posting here to get reassurance that your child wasn't like the children of parents on this forum. Then when posters pointed this out to you you burst into tears. In your subsequent posts you have elaborated a little on your concerns but it really seems like your anxiety is the main issue. I know a mother's 'gut' feeling can be right before there is actual evidence and you may be right in the end but given that now there isn't evidence of anything being wrong I would get help for your vulnerable emotional state. You are going to need to be more stable and able to cope in the event that your gut was right and your child does have special needs.

I hope you realize no one meant to be mean - many were likely like me and didn't understand at all why you were freaking out on this board about your developmentally normal child. I hope you find peace and strength.

[Anonymous]

Perhaps other posters didn't read OP's later posts, but she's also said that her 15mo's legs are different lengths, that she was uninterested in eating, that she's been on the late late said of normal for everything from sitting to crawling to walking, that she has low core tone, that her right side is much stronger than her left, etc.

I agree that perhaps OP sounds a little hysterical and perhaps that's what put other posters off, but it does sound like she has reason to be concerned and I generally trust Mother's intuition. This early, probably not a whole lot anyone can do, but I would suggest OP call Infants and Toddlers. My 21mo still has no expressive language (receptive is fine though) and we just started with I&T in Montgomery County and have been impressed.

Call I&T, stop Googling, and try to resist the urge to compare her to your friend's kids. I do the same sometimes with my son and I feel like it really devalues HIM. I always feel guilty. But then once I'm one-on-one with him again and realize all the ways in which he is awesome, I feel much better. I am doing all I can to help him without freaking out about what his delays might mean. Easier said than done I realize.

[Anonymous]

Wow!!!! People responding to this poor mother need to chill out!!!!!! I don't think this mother meant to be mean to anyone she's just worried about her child. She was expressing her feelings. To this mother: if you live in MOCO call infants and toddlers and have her evaluated. You will get a full eval for free. This will tell you whether you need anymore services. If you don't like what you hear then go to a dev ped. When someone is going through any developmental difference it's hard and stressful. Being mean and telling her she does not belong on this fourm is wrong and plain not nice. This forum is designed to ask questions and someone should be able to do it without alot of harrassing. I understand everyone has different needs on this forum but think about it from her perspective she was simply asking a question not tring to compare or make anyone feel bad about their own situation.