Terrified about 15 mo DD's development

[Anonymous]

DD is 15 months. We haven't had her 15 month ped appointment yet, so obviously I will be going over everything with her, but I'm really freaking out.

DD isn't walking yet and is seeing a PT, at the suggestion of the ped. The PT doesn't attribute her lack of walking to anything serious. Just some strenght, balance, and personality issues, none of which are uncommon (according to her). Her left foot rotates out when she walks, but again, it's supposedly not uncommon and not the reason for her not walking.

But DH and I are starting to realize that there are many things she is "behind" with. She isn't talking AT ALL. She says "up" and just started saying "ba" for bottle or water bottle, but that's it. No mama, dada, dog, no, etc. She clearly knows words though. She can point to her belly, her nose, her ear, and her toes when asked. She also can clearly identify (by pointing to or whatever) water, doggie, and shoes. She also knows the sign for "all done." She points quite a bit too. She can imitate sounds like shhhh or making rasberries. But she doesn't even attempt to repeat words when we say them. She constantly does this thing where she points to something like she wants us to tell her what it is. We'll say the word and she'll either point to it again or something else, and this contines over and over but she never tries to repeat back the words that we are saying.

As far as social interaction, she's totally fine. She is always waiving at people and smiles and laughs and loves getting reactions.

I hate to compare her to other children her age, but when I do, I feel like she just isn't doing the same things that other kids are. Not just the walking and talking. She doesn't seem to be as active or explore or play as much as other kids I see.

It's hard to explain, but she truly seems like "the lights are on" in her head. But she's just not outwardly doing everything that other kids are. Our friends with kids the same age agree that she doesn't seem intelectually slow (I don't know if that's the right way to say it), but she clearly is not doing what other kids her age are.

I am really scared and, frankly, sad. I don't want to accept the "wait and see" approach. And I am sick of hearing that she's still "within the range of normal" for the walking and talking.

I don't know what I'm expecting to get out of posting this. I'm just really scared.

[Anonymous]

When you go for your 15 mo. checkup, tell the pediatrician that you want a referral to a developmental pediatrician. Most regular pediatricians don't have the expertise to pick up subtle developmental delays. As your child's mom, if you suspect something is wrong, go ahead and get it checked out. It can't hurt.

FWIW, my daughter didn't walk until she was 17 months old. She just didn't seem interested at all, and then one day she stood up and took off across the room. She still isn't very coordinated at 4, but that's a family trait and I don't think much can be done about it.

Also, check out Child Find if you live in Fairfax County. It's free and will give you a good idea if your child's behavior is not normal for her age.

[Anonymous]

OK, first of all do remember that kids develop at different paces and 15 months is pretty young still. Second, the fact that she seems cognitively fine and is interactive is a huge plus -- even if she has an expressive language delay, that can be dealt with through therapy.

If you can't wait, don't wait -- call the ped on Monday. And remember that the PT probably sees many kids and so his/her judgement is probably sound.

[Anonymous]

Your daughter sounds like my son only I am not worried about it. He does talk, but I have no idea what he is saying as it sounds nothing like real words. Your post makes me think I should be worried, but I honestly can't find a reason to be. Everyone is different. He'll walk when he feels like it and that's when he'll start talking too.

You have to do what you feel comfortable with. If you need some sort of diagnoses then by all means please get one.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't think you need to be freaking out about anything yet. My DD didn't walk on her own until 16 months just because she was SO good at crawling and was much faster at it. Also, her ped at her one year check up said that her feet were really small and was not at all surprised that she wasn't walking yet just because she probably couldn't balance well on her tiny feet.

As for talking, I think what your DD is doing is in the range of normal. My niece didn't say a single word until she was three. My SIL and BIL had her checked out by all sorts of specialists but there was absolutely nothing wrong with her. Now at 12, she tested the highest in her grade for both language and math.

If you are concerned, definitely bring it up with your ped.

[Anonymous]

OP, can I ask what terrifies you? It sounds like your daughter is in a normal range....she will, in fact, get there. Get to normal. She's not the first to develop skills. She DEFINITELY is not the last. What is terrifying about this situation? I'm not trying to withhold empathy, but to a special needs mom, this sounds well, at least pretty far from terrifying. Terrifying is usually reserved for fears of a scenario like extreme disability. Or autism. Is there some specific fear for your child that we can help put out of your mind, like autism or a genetic disorder? I would definitely say no to both.

[Anonymous]

You may want to use more sensitive language, OP, when you come on a forum for SN parents and say you are "terrified." You are terrified of living with what many of us are dealing with every day and yes it can be a nightmare at times. But it's insulting to have someone who may just be at the beginning of a similar journey to come here and say you're terrified. I certainly do hope that your concerns are allayed, but the best thing you can do right now is have your child evaluated. Best of luck to you.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I understand what your getting at, 16:45. I think what I'm terrified of is the unknown. I'm also anxious about something being wrong (even if it's not something severe) and not getting early intervention because everyone is reassuring me that she is still technically within the normal range for things.

I know that things could be much worse. Of course. Believe me, I count my blessings in the PT waiting room.

I think most people can understand how any kind of delay or noticing numerous differences between your child and others, regardless of the severity, could be scary to a mother.

[Anonymous]

16:45 again. Just as your daughter is a little bit of a slow starter -- vs. some kids in the PT waiting room who are truly disabled or delayed, it's okay to have some fears and worries and nagging concerns -- vs. being terrified. Try to think of it that way. Being terrified won't help her. Terror is not helpful. Terror is not productive. Neither are tearful scenarios or what ifs in which she doesn't get services, or comparing her to other children. I can tell you that because I am the mom of one of those kids you see in the waiting room and I don't allow terror to enter the picture -- which doesn't make me a hero, it just makes me a little more seasoned than you.

You can hear 25 different stories about other kids who caught up and are now geniuses, but they won't reassure you. I would take her to Kennedy Krieger and have a developmental assessment done. Don't go to Children's.

[Anonymous]

Sounds very similar to two of my kids. "Lights were definitely on" but slow to walk and talk. Physical and Speech/Language Therapy for first child and it worked out well. With second child serendipitously got a diagnosis of a genetic connective tissue disorder at age 3. That explained just about everything but didn't change what we did --- PT and S/L. Family history examination helped a few nieces and nephews as well.

[Anonymous]

I would get on the wait list to see developmental pediatrician Charles Conlon in Bethesda. He is worth the money and wait. TRUST ME

[Anonymous]

I've read your first post a few times because I'm trying to understand what you're 'terrified' of and why you posted in Special Needs. I get not wanting to take a wait and see approach but [you're]sick of hearing that she's still "within the range of normal" for the walking and talking." I'm quoting you here so I know I've got this right. Your kid is only 15 months old, is still within normal range for walking and talking, the PT sees nothing out of the ordinary with her, she's social and interactive and you're "terrified"? I'm with 18:28. This is a very supportive forum but I don't have the energy for someone who's worked herself into a state because her DD isn't as advanced as her mother would like - someone who is terrified her kid might be like mine and is looking for reassurance from those of us who's kids aren't 'normal'. Just what is it you're expecting us to say to calm your fears? Your kid doesn't sound like mine? That's insensitive and insulting.

[Anonymous]

Wow, 20:27. I am literally sitting at a restaurant welling up with tears, at my dh's birthday dinner. I'm concerned about my child and am desperate for information. I made the mistake of checking this thread while dh went to the restroom. Ok. Now I am full on crying. Perhaps "terrified" was a strong word. But how on earth can you attack a mother for being afraid that something is wrong with her child. I know in my gut, something is off and im trying to get information. Is a person not allowed to be scared about a lupys diagnosis because there are people with terminal cancer? I know that this is an anonymous forum, but don't forget, there are real people on here. And you just brought this one to tears.

[Anonymous]

If you are further concerned for speech development, further develop her sign language so she can relate more. Her delay seems minimal if even present and sounds like her speech production will improve. It is way too early to diagnose dyspraxia or any other motor planning speech problems. What age did she crawl??? If that wasn't delayed do not worry at this point about when she will walk. Does your child have low muscle tone? How is her joint attention? If neither of those are an issue, I would relax.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow, 20:27. I am literally sitting at a restaurant welling up with tears, at my dh's birthday dinner. I'm concerned about my child and am desperate for information. I made the mistake of checking this thread while dh went to the restroom. Ok. Now I am full on crying. Perhaps "terrified" was a strong word. But how on earth can you attack a mother for being afraid that something is wrong with her child. I know in my gut, something is off and im trying to get information. Is a person not allowed to be scared about a lupys diagnosis because there are people with terminal cancer? I know that this is an anonymous forum, but don't forget, there are real people on here. And you just brought this one to tears.

I don't think you get what the PP is saying. According to the information you've provided, there doesn't appear to be anything wrong with your child. According to the information you provided, the PT says there's nothing out of the ordinary going on, your daughter may not be speaking yet but she is communicating (signing, pointing and other non-verbal actions), understands what you say, doesn't seem to cognitively impaired, loves interacting, smiles and seeks to engage. She just doesn't seem to be as active as your friends' kids. Your comment about lupus and cancer isn't at all comparable. What you're doing is more like complaining about needing a manicure to someone who doesn't have hands.