Is it NORMAL TO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP w your SIL??

[Anonymous]

I think my SIL thinks we are best friends, but she does not treat my DH, me or my kids that well. She rarely invites us over. She always wants things to be on her terms. SHe is not interested in my DH, me or my kids. She is highly competitive. For some reason, she doesn't get to me that much. I think she is a tiny bit crazy, but a really good mom and daughter. I feel bad for her DH - who has an incredibly demanding job but must do incredible amounts of kid related work (like picking up the kids form preschool on his lunch break - she is a SAHM). Also she is there for us in an emergency and I believe she will help us take care of my MIL and FIL as they ago.

[Anonymous]

I have two SILs. They both live close by, but we have nothing in common. In the beginning, I tried so hard, but now I have given up. We wouldn't be friends in real life, so you can't force it -- it's just not there. It saddens me, though, as I have no sisters and always had longings for a sister in law that I was close to.

[Anonymous]

I like my SIL just fine and I think she feels that same about me, but we don't have much in common. I send her birthday cards, etc, and we chat at family functions, but I don't think either of us are overly concerned that we aren't BFFs.

[Anonymous]

I think OP included the house size thing just as an explanation.

OP trust your instincts. They are telling you she has a problem with you because of jealousy.

I have a similar problem. I think my SIL hates me because her kids are difficult and mine are pretty good kids. I think the contrast between our kids (same age, same gender) really makes her feel bad about herself.

If it makes your SIL unhappy to be around you, let her go.

[Anonymous]

I don't have much of a relationship with SIL at all. We are polite,but that is it. I don't care either way. On the big scale of my worries in life, it is pretty far down there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think my SIL thinks we are best friends, but she does not treat my DH, me or my kids that well. She rarely invites us over. She always wants things to be on her terms. SHe is not interested in my DH, me or my kids. She is highly competitive. For some reason, she doesn't get to me that much. I think she is a tiny bit crazy, but a really good mom and daughter. I feel bad for her DH - who has an incredibly demanding job but must do incredible amounts of kid related work (like picking up the kids form preschool on his lunch break - she is a SAHM). Also she is there for us in an emergency and I believe she will help us take care of my MIL and FIL as they ago.

Uh, what is your SIL doing that she can't be bothered to pick up the kids from preschool?

[Anonymous]

OP here. Thanks everyone for your input! Some of you were very rude and inappropriate (making snarky comments and blaming innocent posters that they were me, OP), but most of you were very informative. After reading everyone's reply I'm convinced now that a) it's ok not to have a relationship with my SIL, b) just because we're related by marriage doesn't mean we have to be friends, and c) she might be slightly jealous.

For the longest time, I thought that almost all in-laws are friends because that's how it's been on my side of the family. Even mothers and step mothers are friends, but I've realized that's not the norm. It might also be my culture, I failed to mention that my husband is American and I'm Persian American. Although I'm more American than people think I just appreciate my Persian culture more I guess.

Thanks everyone!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Uh, what is your SIL doing that she can't be bothered to pick up the kids from preschool?

Other kid-related stuff - like she didn't want to wake the other kid while napping, but these are the things that most SAH parents have to balance.