Is it NORMAL TO NOT HAVE A RELATIONSHIP w your SIL??

[Anonymous]

SIL is extremely shallow and we have nothing in common.

It's just like high school, but now I have a lot more money.

[Anonymous]

I have no relationship at all with my SIL. She has never been welcomng to me from the day I met her. While DH and I were dating she acted like I did not exist except when it came time for either her or BIL's birthday or their anniversary and expected a gift from me. She even had my now-MIL lecture me on how I should be giving them gifts and how horrible it was of me not to give them anything for these occasions (even though I sent them cards). Once we got engaged she insisted on being in my wedding party and then told the other bridesmaids that she would not be

[Anonymous]

Yup.

[Anonymous]

I have 4 SIL and am not close to one of them. I, like you, have tried. We are cordial and friendly and polite. When I had my appendix out with a one year old, NOT ONE of them offered to help. All of them live nearby. If my sisters lived closer, they would have been there in a heartbeat.
Anyway, I tell myself they just have their own busy lives and don't have room for me or my husband and kids.

[Anonymous]

Sorry previous post cut off. She told them she would not be involved in any showers or bachelorette parties and not to involve her in any planning. At out wedding she did not even speak to me. I have always been nice to her and her husband but I guess some women cannot accept anyone else in her family. I used to get upset but now ignore it. However I am somewhat jealous of my friends who have great relationships with their SILs. I always wanted a sister but sometimes things don't work out that way. I have moved past it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like you have a relationship, just not a close one. I don't have a close relationship with my SIL, and that seems fine to me. We are very different, and I think we both recognize that we wouldn't be friends but for the family relationship. I'm fine with that. I hope she is too.

this is pretty much me as well. I have 4 SILs (all local) and I am not really close with any of them. Their kids are a little older and several of them go to the same Catholic school. My kids are younger and we live in a different neighborhood and send our older son to public school. We are friendly when we hang out, but I would probably not be friends with any of them if I wasn't married to my DH.

[Anonymous]

8:02 - Virtual high five!!! AMEN, SISTA!

Saying SIL is jealous, never been welcoming and we have nothing in common is an understatement. But somehow we owe her? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.......

My IL's are local too and all they do is think about themselves.

[Anonymous]

I can't even claim to HAVE a SIL, as the barely 23-year old chick who is the mother of my nephew and niece is not married to my idiot BIL. I have nothing against her personally, but I don't expect to ever have much of a relationship with her. I barely want to acknowledge my BIL, honestly. Thank goodness we live half a country away from them, because they make me stabby for the roller coaster ride they are taking my poor ILs on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, you mentioned the size of your house (larger than hers!) twice in your post. Perhaps she senses that you're materialistic and condescending.

I agree! Maybe the two of you just have very little in common, besides your husband. It's ridiculous to think someone's jealous of you, just because you chose to spend your money on a big house. Not everyone has the same values, and that's okay, too.

[Anonymous]

I have no real realationship with any of my SILs.

We are all busy, with kids, jobs, and life. We are all very different paths. I am friendly enough with all of them, but holidays and get togethers are the extent of our relationship.

I think this has become the norm, and that super close knit extended families are the outliers.

[Anonymous]

Oh crap. Let the house size go people. You sound like jealous SIL! Don't you realize how silly?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh crap. Let the house size go people. You sound like jealous SIL! Don't you realize how silly?

Why can't YOU let it go, crazy lady?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:21:13 - not OP, but WTF is your problem? Are you a rotten SIL? Kind of a touchy subject is it?

19:06 - I agree completely. It is the touchy ones that you have to wonder about. Not so much the ones that bring up something that is already in your face. Though my own SIL has denial down to a science!

WOW!!! Some introspection might be good for you, PP. Why would 21:13's comment elicit a 'WTF' from anyone? Or are you the OP? (No, i'm not 21:13, just an innocent bystander shocked by the clueless nature of your 'touchy' response coupled with your comment!)

[Anonymous]

What a juvenile question. Some people do not have good relationships with their blood relatives, so what makes you think your SIL has to be buddies with you?

[Anonymous]

Yeah, drop the house size thing. If you are thinking about it or thinking that the other person has a problem with your house size - big or small - then you need your head and heart examined.