I didn't expect to feel so sad...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Try to keep in mind that Pre-K is what we used to call nursery school. My 73 year old mother promised me that she would come up to DC from Arkansas and kick me in the goodies if I spent $30K a year for someone to supervise my son playing with blocks. She's not a dope, she's a pretty well known Arthurian scholar, got her MA at Stanford, PhD at U of MI. My point is that as long as our children are engaged and interested, curious and challenged, they will do very well in life whether that means being an accountant or an abstract artist. Seriously, save the money until senior high when it might matter. It's designed to be an impersonal process. There is no reflection on you or your child so don't take it that way. Pre-K is hyper competitive everywhere in the city right now. Take your kid to the zoo, read a story, relax.

See I used to think this also but it's not really about that I now think. First, PreK is an entry to a private school - for some all the way to high school - so they only do the admission process once and they do it when their child is young and oblivious. Second, it can be harder to get into these schools in other years - even in K- so you need to start with PreK. Private schools become communities in and of themselves and it is easier to get in on the "ground floor" so to speak for your child as well as the parent who likely wants to be involved in the education and school community.

[Anonymous]

This quote is so wise and savvy that Jeff should make it its own sticky thread, which stays on DCUM year after year.

I'm not sure if this helps or not, but the truth of the matter is that for the PreK/K crowd, your child isn't being rejected - you are. And I say that as someone who received some really unexpectedly bad news today (parent was an alum, kid had super high test scores). Our kids don't have a track record yet - they aren't really the ones on trial at this stage. On the one hand, it sucks that we weren't "good enough" to get into a school we thought would be great for our dc. On the other hand, I know my kid is amazing and will thrive wherever s/he lands. In their quest for money or fame or whatever they are looking for, some schools miss out on sensational children. Their loss.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you on "their loss" as an appropriate attitude and on your kid is still the amazing person he or she has always been and will thrive regardless.

But, in the end, these decisions aren't about parents "not being good enough" or about the schools' "quest for money or fame" -- they're about numbers. Schools recognize (and regret) that there are lots of great kids who apply and whom they won't be able to accept (at least this time around). There are just a really limited number of spaces and a lot of considerations about what makes for a well-balanced class.

I know it's hard (especially in the moment), but, ultimately, it's important to recognize that this isn't a judgment about the worthiness of you, your kid, your family.

[Anonymous]

New Poster here to share some insights. My sister and I both went to one of the top boarding schools in the country. Our younger brother was flat out rejected from the same school, for reasons we still don't understand. Our family was so hurt and pissed off that he wouldn't be part of the family legacy or whatever.

Fast forward 10 years, and he is the one getting a PhD from an Ivy League school before the age of 25....after going through public high school! While Sis and I were clawing through the rat race at this private school (we have both had emotional/mental issues since!), he is far more successful than we could be, and wasn't thrown into the competitive atmosphere and feeling like he was always a small fish in a big pond. He got to be the big fish, and it worked wonders for him. So, take heart, things work out for a reason!

[Anonymous]

Hi everyone. Yes, a rejection hurts. It is impossible to go through this type of process and remain completely rationale ... one gets emotionally invested. And it is your CHILD. I know you all know it, but just wanted to say this too shall pass and it will not seem significant at all when your child starts at whatever school and begins to learn, make friends, and do all those things you envisioned could somehow only happen at one particular school ... Best wishes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
I'm not sure if this helps or not, but the truth of the matter is that for the PreK/K crowd, your child isn't being rejected - you are. And I say that as someone who received some really unexpectedly bad news today (parent was an alum, kid had super high test scores). Our kids don't have a track record yet - they aren't really the ones on trial at this stage. On the one hand, it sucks that we weren't "good enough" to get into a school we thought would be great for our dc. On the other hand, I know my kid is amazing and will thrive wherever s/he lands. In their quest for money or fame or whatever they are looking for, some schools miss out on sensational children. Their loss.

The "you are the one being rejected" idea is very overstated. But you are correct that there's much less of a track record at this stage and, thus, more "false negatives" and even "false positives"--by middle school and HS the ol' bell curve starts kicking in in a big way and overlooked sensational children emerge like little genius swans in the DCUM version of Hans Christian Anderson.

[Anonymous]

Thanks everyone. OP here. What a kind thread! Thanks for the words of support.

I feel much better today -- all the rational thinking has kicked in. Guess it's University of Illinois! (Risky Business anyone?)

Plus I had a really nice day with DC and it was good to be reminded of her good humor and generous heart.

Take care and keep up your spirits.

[Anonymous]

I didn't expect to feel so GLAD! We got into every school to which we applied. Um, WINNING!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect to feel so GLAD! We got into every school to which we applied. Um, WINNING!!!

JERK!

[Anonymous]

21:25 Evil troll...go back under your bridge. My guess is that your child is one of those false positives. Stay away from our feel good thread.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect to feel so GLAD! We got into every school to which we applied. Um, WINNING!!!

JERK!

I think this is a spoof on Charlie Sheen's rants. It gave me a chuckle and we were rejected for a few schools. I do believe this stuff all works out in the end.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect to feel so GLAD! We got into every school to which we applied. Um, WINNING!!!

#tigerblood

[Anonymous]

We were 1/3. WL for other two. All top schools. I feel very grateful, but depressed for all my friends and collegues that were shut out everywhere... Even local Pre-k across the street. These are great kids with great scores at great programs and nothing. Many are diverse in some way either race, ethnicity, gay parents ect. And nothing. There is no rhyme or reason to it. We are not famous or even known. God knows we don't have a boatload of money and will likely pay full freight. We saw each other today and we were all sad. Much love and hope to everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't expect to feel so GLAD! We got into every school to which we applied. Um, WINNING!!!

#tigerblood

Go ninja assasins from the Vatican!

[Anonymous]

I kind of agree with the Parents being rejected at least in my example. All the schools in which I had to go a one on one interview we got wait listed. All the schools that just required a small group tour we got accepted. It must have been me.