is sleeping in bed with son wrong?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it can seem as if there is a problem with daddy, so the son is a substitute. Again OP, it is the process. Kids should never "solve" parent's problems.

ITA with this.

That said, "musical beds" is waaaaaaaay more common than many people will admit.

Before I became a parent, I would have red-flagged this as a major boundary issue. But, now... let's just say being a parent makes one more humble with judgements

But remember, just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. It's not being judgemental when giving opinions on things that don't benefit the child. And musical beds is not in the child's best interest. Just an opinion that alot share.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Also, it can seem as if there is a problem with daddy, so the son is a substitute. Again OP, it is the process. Kids should never "solve" parent's problems.

ITA with this.

That said, "musical beds" is waaaaaaaay more common than many people will admit.

Before I became a parent, I would have red-flagged this as a major boundary issue. But, now... let's just say being a parent makes one more humble with judgements

But remember, just because everyone does it doesn't make it right. It's not being judgemental when giving opinions on things that don't benefit the child. And musical beds is not in the child's best interest. Just an opinion that alot share.

Well said.

[Anonymous]

This is a ridiculous conversation. There is nothing at all wrong with you sleeping with your 5 year old son in his room. Get a grip people, everything does not have to be so complicated. He is a very little boy, she is his mom, and this is just NOT a big deal. OP, sleep away and enjoy it as long as he will let you. It is natural, normal and sweet. Sleep patterns/independence are not at issue for this child, so lets not start down that path. I think others are projecting their children's issues on OP's child.

[Anonymous]

What's wrong with the couch?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a ridiculous conversation. There is nothing at all wrong with you sleeping with your 5 year old son in his room. Get a grip people, everything does not have to be so complicated. He is a very little boy, she is his mom, and this is just NOT a big deal. OP, sleep away and enjoy it as long as he will let you. It is natural, normal and sweet. Sleep patterns/independence are not at issue for this child, so lets not start down that path. I think others are projecting their children's issues on OP's child.

It is probably rediculous to you because you agree with the side that you agree with and that's fine. However he might be a little boy, but he is old enough to see the example set in front of him. And it isn't normal to see a marriage where the mom is sleeping with the boy in his bed instead of the husband. If the snoring bothers her sleep in a different room but at least give the impression that mom and dad are in unison. This is not silly to be on the side that kids sleep on their own and that's ok, you can always hang out in the morning. Space is ok. Independance is great even at a young age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with the couch?

exactly

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with the couch?

exactly

Have you slept on a couch?

I have to agree-this has become a stupid thread.

Happy Sleeping!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a ridiculous conversation. There is nothing at all wrong with you sleeping with your 5 year old son in his room. Get a grip people, everything does not have to be so complicated. He is a very little boy, she is his mom, and this is just NOT a big deal. OP, sleep away and enjoy it as long as he will let you. It is natural, normal and sweet. Sleep patterns/independence are not at issue for this child, so lets not start down that path. I think others are projecting their children's issues on OP's child.

She's not sleeping with her son because she belives in the family bed or because she believes mothers should share the bed with their young children. She sleeps in her son's bed to avoid the dad's snoring. This is a different situation entirely.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is a ridiculous conversation. There is nothing at all wrong with you sleeping with your 5 year old son in his room. Get a grip people, everything does not have to be so complicated. He is a very little boy, she is his mom, and this is just NOT a big deal. OP, sleep away and enjoy it as long as he will let you. It is natural, normal and sweet. Sleep patterns/independence are not at issue for this child, so lets not start down that path. I think others are projecting their children's issues on OP's child.

She's not sleeping with her son because she belives in the family bed or because she believes mothers should share the bed with their young children. She sleeps in her son's bed to avoid the dad's snoring. This is a different situation entirely.

You make a valid point in understanding what the OP was trying to say, however what many previous posters believe including myself is that there are other solutions such as buying a comfortable futon, bed or seeking medical advice about the snoring. But invading the personal space or independance that the child is trying to develop on their own by joing them at night should'nt be an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with the couch?

exactly

Exactly. If you son wants to co-sleep, then fine. But if you're jumping into his bed in the middle of the night every night when he's happily independently sleeping, it's just not right. It's about YOU instead of your child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with the couch?

exactly

Exactly. If you son wants to co-sleep, then fine. But if you're jumping into his bed in the middle of the night every night when he's happily independently sleeping, it's just not right. It's about YOU instead of your child.

Kids should not have a job, actually a dr. phil quote, but comforting your situation should'nt be his job. I actually believe that even if your child wants to cosleep the answer should be no so that they get used to it faster, sleeping on their own that is.

[Anonymous]

Agree with the issue of process.
Also, I can not imagine a bed with a 5 yr. old to be more comfy than a futon, or mattress on the floor.
That said, my ds and dd are always in my bed in the morning. My dh hates it so he goes to the guest bedroom to finish up his sleep. In a way, they do "chase" him out. I wonder what the implications are with that. But since it is the two (dd and ds) I don't worry, if it were only my son, I would have an issue. Father bear should be in charge, not baby bear.
OP, get your husband a sleep study, in case he has sleep apnea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree with the issue of process.
Also, I can not imagine a bed with a 5 yr. old to be more comfy than a futon, or mattress on the floor.
That said, my ds and dd are always in my bed in the morning. My dh hates it so he goes to the guest bedroom to finish up his sleep. In a way, they do "chase" him out. I wonder what the implications are with that. But since it is the two (dd and ds) I don't worry, if it were only my son, I would have an issue. Father bear should be in charge, not baby bear.
OP, get your husband a sleep study, in case he has sleep apnea.

Just out of curiosity, why does your husband allow them to chase him out. Why do you. It's his bed and by giving the children that kind of early power sets a bad precedent. He should not be running off to the guest room. You should both unify and say were not ready to get up yet, go hang out until were ready. You will see a huge difference in the happiness with your spouce and the boundaries that your children need to start understanding.

[Anonymous]

pp,I agree. My dh is passive that way, he would stay in the bed, but he is disabled, and can not sleep with them. I do want them to start learning to respect him that way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's wrong with the couch?

exactly

Have you slept on a couch?

I have to agree-this has become a stupid thread.

Happy Sleeping!

Have you? They're rather comfortable, actually.