My husband just asked me if I have a secret bank account.

[Anonymous]

I think joint or separate can work depending on the relationship. DW and I had joint accounts except for one leftover bank account I had with very little money in it which I used only for ATM transactions (because our regular bank didn't have a nearby ATM) and occasional shopping for gifts for DW. I kept it at around the $5,000 minimum not to have fees, but for some reason DW was mildly irked by it so I made it into a joint account. I still use it the same way but now she has an ATM card she doesn't use and access to see what's in it that she doesn't use but the problem is resolved.

I have a friend who makes significantly less than his DW and they have always had a joint account for joint expenses and everything else separate. Since he worries more about money being separate allows him not to begrudge her whatever she's spending money on and allows him to buy whatever ridiculous crap he buys without worrying that he's sponging off her. I don't think it would work for me, but they have been married 15 years with no signs of trouble.