HS magnet/IB programs - mailing today

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

I don't know what you mean by snarky but the poster's remarks are factual and reality based. Stress is part of living day to day, and we all try deal with this and accommodate this. A stress free environment is incompatible with life of the species

You are so wrong. The type of pressure and stress that people in DC put on their very young children is nothing like the "living day to day" in the real world. Most of the country doesn't live like that. And when you live in DC for a while you forget that. In the "real world", most kids go to their neighborhood schools. In in good areas, those schools are very good. There are no auditions for preschool. You don't apply for IB or Magnet schools. Most kids don't know the stress of competing for slots in an exclusive private school.

We've lived in the DC area a couple of times...luckily never for more than about 18 months at a time. I have to constantly remind myself not to get sucked into that type of thinking. That's one reason we chose to live in Fairfax. My kids went to very good schools. But not schools they could have been rejected from. No way would I put that kind of pressure on my kids. Yes. The college admission process is stressful. I have one in college. And a senior getting ready to leave for college. But there is a HUGE difference between a 12 year old and an 18 year old.

...And people wonder why half the kids in DC are in therapy and on medication.

Actually the DC experience you describe above IS pretty par-for-the-course in most big/cosmopolitan cities around the world - it's just a consequence of urbanization - and the tide of history is on the side of the DC rather than fly-over-country in this case

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And blair is acceptable in terms of academics, but MANY of the kids in the magnet are miserable, bullied and hate the program. Good thing this is what we help our kids aspire to achieve.

The Blair magnet has bullies? Ha, ha, ha! You mean, like, the lunchtime Rubiks cube contests end with the kids throwing the cubes at each other? Clearly, you know nothing about the program, and you don't know any kids in the program.

And I can state from DC's experience that the CAP program is full of theater geeks.

Yes, there's a ton of work in these programs, and that can be stressful. But kids apply to the programs because they LIKE magnet and science, or because they LIKE writing. So we're talking about stress they VOLUNTARILY took on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Different strokes for different folk. My kids love sports and competition (yesterday's Super Bowl with hundreds of millions of viewers betting on an eventual winner). I don't put pressure on my kids, however, I would never stir them away from applying to magnet programs or shooting for the moon (in favor "of safer" and no pressure territory) because of fear of pressure or failure. My children drink gallons of milk and have no medical problems. They are not in therapy and have never been medicated.

Please come back and report to us after your kid has applied to, and been rejected from, a magnet program. It's totally different from when your kid's football team loses a game, and the whole team shares in the blame. It's also totally different from competing on a national level in an individual sport. I say this from personal experience: our kids have both done travel team sports, and one kid competes nationally in an individual sport.

I can tell you that the anxiety about whether your best friends are going to go on to a magnet program, and leave you behind for the next 3-4 years, is a whole different ballgame. Even the kid who competes nationally in the individual sport has learned (sort of) to take losses reasonably well and look forward to the next tournament. But the magnet programs are for several years. Plus, most kids understand that getting judged on how many home runs you hit is different from getting judged on your academic prowess. (PS, my kid got into the magnet.)

[Anonymous]

I'm back to report my child was admitted to a magnet 2 years ago and decided to attend. The second child is up in 2 years. If he doesn't get in, it's not the end of the world. Like the first child, most of his primary education has come from home and not school. Both kids know this, are academically at least 3 grade levels ahead for age, and love it. Whether the second child is rejected from a magnet school is therefore immaterial. He is well ahead of the first at a common stage and understands there are several components that go into selection. He also understands the magnet pigeon hole may be restrictive for his particular needs. School is purely for a social outlet and network. Therefore, we have not felt the pressure (or fear of rejection) you are experiencing regarding your children and applying to magnet programs. I promise to return only when the second applies and is rejected.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm back to report my child was admitted to a magnet 2 years ago and decided to attend. The second child is up in 2 years. If he doesn't get in, it's not the end of the world. Like the first child, most of his primary education has come from home and not school. Both kids know this, are academically at least 3 grade levels ahead for age, and love it. Whether the second child is rejected from a magnet school is therefore immaterial. He is well ahead of the first at a common stage and understands there are several components that go into selection. He also understands the magnet pigeon hole may be restrictive for his particular needs. School is purely for a social outlet and network. Therefore, we have not felt the pressure (or fear of rejection) you are experiencing regarding your children and applying to magnet programs. I promise to return only when the second applies and is rejected.

Wow, your condescending tone is pretty off-putting. I fear your older kid attends the same magnet, and is in the same grade, with my kid.

I'm hope your second kid is as confident as you say he is. I would like to believe it's true, as you say, that for your kids "it's not the end of the world," it's "immaterial," that "school is purely a social outlet" and they your kid actually has the maturity to look philosophically at the various "components" of the selection process. I hope this is not just wishful thinking on your part, and that your 2nd kid isn't keeping any feelings to himself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm back to report my child was admitted to a magnet 2 years ago and decided to attend. The second child is up in 2 years. If he doesn't get in, it's not the end of the world. Like the first child, most of his primary education has come from home and not school. Both kids know this, are academically at least 3 grade levels ahead for age, and love it. Whether the second child is rejected from a magnet school is therefore immaterial. He is well ahead of the first at a common stage and understands there are several components that go into selection. He also understands the magnet pigeon hole may be restrictive for his particular needs. School is purely for a social outlet and network. Therefore, we have not felt the pressure (or fear of rejection) you are experiencing regarding your children and applying to magnet programs. I promise to return only when the second applies and is rejected.

Wow, on a smugness scale of 1-10, I'd give this a 9 or a 10. All this, competitive sports, and gallons of milk too? This actually sounds like her kids don't confide in her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And blair is acceptable in terms of academics, but MANY of the kids in the magnet are miserable, bullied and hate the program. Good thing this is what we help our kids aspire to achieve.

The Blair magnet has bullies? Ha, ha, ha! You mean, like, the lunchtime Rubiks cube contests end with the kids throwing the cubes at each other? Clearly, you know nothing about the program, and you don't know any kids in the program.

And I can state from DC's experience that the CAP program is full of theater geeks.

Yes, there's a ton of work in these programs, and that can be stressful. But kids apply to the programs because they LIKE magnet and science, or because they LIKE writing. So we're talking about stress they VOLUNTARILY took on.

Actually, I am a MCPS employee and know several of the kids personally, not to mention professional situations in which I have been involved. The magnet kids are frequently scared of the kids outside of the magnet. Magnet kids also prey upon one another. I will not give you confidential specifics of the cases.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Letters for the CAP program at Blair mailed on Friday.

Last Friday or next Friday?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Actually, I am a MCPS employee and know several of the kids personally, not to mention professional situations in which I have been involved. The magnet kids are frequently scared of the kids outside of the magnet. Magnet kids also prey upon one another. I will not give you confidential specifics of the cases.

My kid is in the CAP program, and she has never felt personally threatened by kids outside the program. This despite watching a fight break out 3 feet from her, today somebody set a boys' bathroom on fire, and some other incidents. Sure, some Blair kids are tougher than others. But this picture of pervasive fear just doesn't ring true to me from talking to DD and her friends.

I'm also curious about how the magnet kids "prey on each other." Without giving details, which I understand, could this be in an academic sense (stealing ideas, cheating on tests) rather than a physical one? I totally agree that some magnet kids are stressed out -- but the math/science magnet kids we know are stressed out by the workload, not by kids "preying on them."

I don't doubt that you have been involved in resolving incidents. I guess the key question would be, how frequent are such incidents -- are they common or rare?

[Anonymous]

I seriously doubt your child attends school with mine. I repeat the pressure you feel is self imposed. If you participate in sports you'll understand what I mean. Internal and self imposed pressure apparently does not pay for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I seriously doubt your child attends school with mine. I repeat the pressure you feel is self imposed. If you participate in sports you'll understand what I mean. Internal and self imposed pressure apparently does not pay for you.

Gawd. You are obnoxious.

My kid is in the TPMS magnet, is that good enough for you?

There is a HUGE difference between sports and applying to schools. You'd know this if your kid competed in sports at the highest levels. (So there! I'm descending to your level!)

Surprise, one of my kids was ranked in the top 20 nationally in an individual sport. In an individual sport, everybody loses at some point, unless you are #1 in the country. Or, in a few years, if you are #1 in the world. Otherwise, your kid loses at some point. So the kid learns to lose, but more important, the kid also learns HOW to lose, and how to view losing as an opportunity. It's all about learning from what you did wrong, and figuring out your opponent's strengths, because you will probably face this very same opponent again in a few months.

And that's another thing - you will have another tournament pretty soon. Whereas a magnet school decision will affect your kid for 3-4 years.

There is no comparison whatsoever between team sports and applying to magnets. If your team loses, possibly your kid will blame himself for not scoring enough goals. But there is blame to share - the other players weren't aggressive enough, the goalie was having an off day, the refs were bad. It's not all on the lone kid, unlike applying to a magnet.

These differences should be obvious to you.

[Anonymous]

There is not excuse for bullying at any school. But the truism at Blair is that in a school the size of a small town there is little or no cliquishness.

A few years ago my Blair student reported that magnet students were booed at a pep rally. I hope the administration learned its lesson and no longer singles out students by program. Among magnet students there also seems to be a hierarchy.

In reality, if they didn't stick together to the extent they do in school and out - and socialized with students from the rest of Blair - the magnet students would be looked at differently. CAP students are more socially inclined, again according to my kid's reports - so may (or may not) have a different place in the pecking order.

[Anonymous]

16:36 again. I realized my post may have been to long for you. Here's the short version.

(1) In individual competition, even at the highest levels, there are opportunities for do-overs. If you lose today, you could win in 2 months. Not so with the magnet applications, where the decision is one-time and final.
(2) In individual competition, you can learn from your mistakes and try again. But with the magnets, you can't go back, repeat 4th and 5th grades, and then apply again.
(3) In individual sports competition, you are not competing against against your best friends from ES. Sure, you know the names of your opponents, because the same kids show up at every tournament. But it's not like if they win and your kid loses, your kid will spend the next three years watching the other kids in the neighborhood, maybe her best friends, doing something she wanted to do.
(4) The comparison with team sports is just silly. There is absolutely no comparison with the amount of pressure on a a kid.

[Anonymous]

If you are rationale and understand there may be 800 applicants for 100 spots you will immediately understand that not all deserving kids may get the nod for a magnet program. Stewing over self imposed internal stress regarding this selectiveness will not change these facts. If you do not want to subject your kids to the possibility of rejection...don't. Some are willing to compete and roll the dice. If the dice comes up goose egg these families deal with it and move on. I recognise for some, and inability to cope may result in depression and suicide. I respect those who choose not to take the chance. I also respect the gamers!

[Anonymous]

14:26 here. The academics are to what I am referring. For example, a situation where kids have changed information in a student's agenda book so they weren't prepared for a test, and other similar academic circumstances. Coordinated efforts by multiple kids targeted at one individual on an on-going basis is certainly a hallmark of a systemic issue. I would say that from anecdotal information that it is less than 5% of the kids having serious issues, but considerably more with excess levels of stress and isolation. Many of the kids advancing from non-magnet programs are at a particular risk because they are less likely to have peers matriculate with them.