Would you live apart from husband due to job?

[Anonymous]

My parents did this twice when I was growing up. My dad moved to the middle east for a job and my mom and two sisters joined him a year later. I was four, and my sisters were three and one so I don't really remember being without my dad. Then when we moved back I was in 5th grade, my mom and sisters and I moved first and my dad joined us a year later. The second time was rough because it was more of a culture shock and I was older, loved my school and had great friends. I left a coed international school to go to a girl's catholic school when we moved so I really hated my mom then. I guess my parent's marriage survived because they are still married

But just wanted to give you a kid's perspective.

[Anonymous]

I would. In a hot minute. DH supported me through my dissertation, I'd be happy to return the favor on a corporate climb. Hey, you could always re-assess the situation in six months.

DS is 18-months. I value the stability we've only just entered here. I adore the Bay Area and would also love the opportunity to visit once a month.

It sounds like an awful lot of upheaval for a stepping stone. What happens when the next opportunity comes along? Are you suppose to uproot everything AGAIN? No thanks. I'd wait for something more long-term.

Nightly Skype bedtimes for the kids. Monthly sexy adventures for a mommy and daddy who miss each other. Important career move, working as a team. Sounds strong and possible to me.

The important thing is how it works for you.

Best of luck to you in making this decision. Try to let us all know how it turns out.

[Anonymous]

I know two (former) couples who did this. Two divorces.

No job is worth it.

Signed, a very career-oriented chick

[Anonymous]

I was away for grad school, but it was only 2 hours. He worked 7 days a week though so it was 12 hours together each week. It was stressful, but it seemed to help at the time. Having kids though, I'm not sure it could work so well.

[Anonymous]

How does hubby feel about not having a daily part in his kids' lives? Does he realize that he won't get a say in what goes on because he isn't there? He can say "I want Johnny to be in bed at nine" but you can keep Johnny up later if you think he needs or wants it. And, there is nothing your husband can do about it on a practical level. How will he feel when he's home? Will he be too tired from traveling to have any meaningful time with the family? How will you feel if he meets someone else because he can't and shouldn't sit at home when he isn't working. If he likes to go bowling and meets a woman he enjoys bowling with, will you be okay with that? How will he feel should the same happen to you? Are you prepared to handle every single one of the house tasks both childcare and "the toilet is leaking, do I call a pluber or fix myself" I think you need to either treat this as a family adventure or you need to say this is a bad time for the family. Or, you need to be very aware that you two may break up. Also, there is a lot to be said for being married because you like the daily interaction with your spouse.

[Anonymous]

Yes, but ONLY if it were the only way to provide for my children. This would only be a consideration if we were in a crisis situation.

As a working woman, I see too many traveling husbands and wives and the hanky-panky they are up to when away for many trips.

[Anonymous]

I am not married but in Sweden, we do this. It can be difficult but my sister's husband works in another country and come home for holidays. They are very happy.