This is jerky behavior, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Jeff,

Please stop FBFNTFTM from posting these things, then posting a reply from her screenname, and then peppering the commentary with replies. The mental illness theater she is putting on for everyone is really tedious.

Rest of us: stop falling for it! Can you seriously not recognize the pattern by now? I can handpick the posts that are hers. Serious rabble rousing.

FBFNFTM, perhaps another hobby is in order?

That you are on here enough to be able to recognize anonymous postings from the tone, and pick out patterns in those postings, indicates that you should take your own advice about finding another hobby.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Dear Jeff,

Please stop FBFNTFTM from posting these things, then posting a reply from her screenname, and then peppering the commentary with replies. The mental illness theater she is putting on for everyone is really tedious.

Rest of us: stop falling for it! Can you seriously not recognize the pattern by now? I can handpick the posts that are hers. Serious rabble rousing.

FBFNFTM, perhaps another hobby is in order?

I don't think FBFNTFTM is the problem. The one post with her name on seems well-intentioned, even if she didn't bother to explain her advice using many paragraphs.

10:48 is the problem. This post is "jerky behavior." Plus there's somebody being a jerk like this on multiple DCUM threads. It's not obvious to me that FBFNTFTM and 10:48 and some of the other posters are the same person, although it's possible. I'd be happy to see that poster banned.

[Anonymous]

10:57 here - sorry for the multiple posts. I didn't see my post come up and assumed I hadn't hit "submit".

[Anonymous]

Ask DH if he really wants his offspring to be drinking hair dye. I'm not sure one pump will do the trick of eliminating it from your system.

[Anonymous]

I'd be out of there the minute my husband said "you represent me." That's just creepy.

[Anonymous]

If my DH didn't shave for 4 weeks I am sure I would tell him to. Now new baby...and #3...h*ll that is some serious exhaustion--I feel for you. PPl are going to rip me, but he takes pride in your appearance...he didn't sign you up for the gym or tell you to put down the 'ho-hos'. I wouldn't be so hard on him...maybe he also thinks it will make you feel better. I missed my 'pregnancy' massage because I went into labor a week before due date and I went 2 weeks PP and got highlights...I felt sooooo much better. I would think of it as some 'alone' time..much needed. Make him watch all 3 kids and do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Dear Jeff,

Please stop FBFNTFTM from posting these things, then posting a reply from her screenname, and then peppering the commentary with replies. The mental illness theater she is putting on for everyone is really tedious.

Rest of us: stop falling for it! Can you seriously not recognize the pattern by now? I can handpick the posts that are hers. Serious rabble rousing.

FBFNFTM, perhaps another hobby is in order?

That you are on here enough to be able to recognize anonymous postings from the tone, and pick out patterns in those postings, indicates that you should take your own advice about finding another hobby.

True enough, I am on here too much. But I don't argue with myself for fun. Which I think is probably a good thing.

[Anonymous]

The comment was jerky. But I also don't undestand (and I have 3 kids) why people so often use pregnancy, post partum period, and motherhood in general as an excuse to look like crap.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The comment was jerky. But I also don't undestand (and I have 3 kids) why people so often use pregnancy, post partum period, and motherhood in general as an excuse to look like crap.

Maybe there is only so much a person can do. Not everyone is as good as you, you know.

[Anonymous]

OP,
Look your husband straight in the eyes and tell him calmly he was rude for telling you this.

1.For telling you that you should make an effort *for himself* and not for yourself.
2.For ignoring the science that advises against hair dye when breastfeeding.
3.For being insensitive to your post-partum needs (sleep and empathy).
4.For being so shallow as to put appearances before your personal comfort and happiness.

Then tell him because of his behavior you find it necessary to cancel the outing.
And that in the future he needs to think a little more about you and a little less about himself.

DH and I do take good care of ourselves, but my husband would never have dreamed of saying something so unsympathetic post-partum.

[Anonymous]

You bitches are HORRRRRIBLE!!!

Why are you telling the OP that her DH is horrible, you can't believe she had children with him etc., . That is just wrong, and cruel. And i'm sure all of you bitches have perfect-ass husbands!

OP - Your DH just wants you to look and feel pretty for the getaway. Why is everyone reading so much into his comment? Sure, he could have been more sensitive...but give the guy a break.

Also, I suggest you have someone come into your home to color your hair for you. plenty of stylists would jump at the chance to make 100% of what they earn at a salon instead of splitting it with the owner.

Chill, pour yourself a glass of wine and get a stylist to come to your house.


geeeeeezzzzz ladies. bitchy bitchy bitchy.

[Anonymous]

20:02 here -
just want to add - i am not a troll and am not a man!
I have a feeling those comments are coming.....

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The comment was jerky. But I also don't undestand (and I have 3 kids) why people so often use pregnancy, post partum period, and motherhood in general as an excuse to look like crap.

Maybe there is only so much a person can do. Not everyone is as good as you, you know.

You must be feeling spoken to by that. Please don't even start to talk about how you look good, wear a size 2, get your hair done, blah blah blah. It's not as if you can prove it--I'm sure you wear mommy jeans, have gray hair, and look like a$$.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why would it take 3 hours?? Find a closer salon, pump a bottle and go enjoy the pampering! It will make your DH feel like you are still trying to look good for him (like it or not, this is important. And he's probably feeling chilly on the back burner since the baby), and it will make YOU feel better too. Not jerky, just human (male) nature. But if you really don't want to, you do get a pass for the next couple of weeks on your appearance.

As a man, I resent this comment. What bullshit. Yes, it is jerky behavior (and frankly, it would be even if you didn't have a new baby). I hate it when bad behavior is excused with, "Well, men are just like that (lazy/unmotivated/insensitive/jerky/whatever)." No, we're not all like that. It may make you feel better to believe that we are, so you don't have to confront the reality that your husband/boyfriend is acting like a jerk, but you're just making excuses for him and rationalizing it to yourself.

Standing up clapping. And in response to other posters, I am lucky enough to know men like this. I married one. Had I not met one I would have just stayed single. Because having a husband "bitching" about gray roots because you "represent him"?! YUCK.

I've got gray roots right now and my DH couldn't care less. He knows I'll get around to it because I do care about my appearance.
I just haven't had the time. OP's husband is being jerky. It sounds like it's more about his vanity and how her gray roots reflect him.