Angry at fertile friend

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pro-choice, but I think women who abort healthy babies are pathetic pieces of trash. You should not have an unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Pregnancies from rape and failed birth control are very rare and is not the reason most abortions happen. It's because women treat their bodies like trash.

I don't understand how you are pro-choice by judging women who choose to abort. Are you saying you're pro-choice if the fetus has a deformity?

I think it's irresponsible of people to keep birthing babies when they cannot take care of the kids that they do have: neglect, abuse.

I am pro-free speech, but I think people who use that free speech to spew racism and homophobia are also pieces of trash. I believe in freedom, but yes, I will pass judgement on how those feedoms are exercised, but I will not call for a ban or for someone to be jailed, but I will think one is vile and disgusting.

What I'm saying is DON'T get pregnant if you can't take care of a baby. Its not that hard to avoid getting pregnant, we do live in the 21st century and everyone has access to contraception.

What I do think is irresponsible is using abortion as birth control. So, yes, I am pro-choice, but I think abortion is widely abused.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm pro-choice, but I think women who abort healthy babies are pathetic pieces of trash. You should not have an unwanted pregnancy in the first place.

Pregnancies from rape and failed birth control are very rare and is not the reason most abortions happen. It's because women treat their bodies like trash.

I don't understand how you are pro-choice by judging women who choose to abort. Are you saying you're pro-choice if the fetus has a deformity?

I think it's irresponsible of people to keep birthing babies when they cannot take care of the kids that they do have: neglect, abuse.

I am pro-free speech, but I think people who use that free speech to spew racism and homophobia are also pieces of trash. I believe in freedom, but yes, I will pass judgement on how those feedoms are exercised, but I will not call for a ban or for someone to be jailed, but I will think one is vile and disgusting.

What I'm saying is DON'T get pregnant if you can't take care of a baby. Its not that hard to avoid getting pregnant, we do live in the 21st century and everyone has access to contraception.

What I do think is irresponsible is using abortion as birth control. So, yes, I am pro-choice, but I think abortion is widely abused.

I agree with you that people should stop birthing more babies than they can handle. I think both men and women should get their tubes tied or snip-snipped. Be responsible to our Mother Earth. I have lost respect for people who keep churning them out and neglect what they have.

On the topic of not getting pregnant if one can't take care of a baby, how about we implement effective sex education classes on sex & birth control methods and not let it be something that our pre-teens and teens have to figure out on their own or rely on each others incorrect myths? This information stays with the teens into adulthood to prevent unplanned & unwanted pregnancies.

How do you know which percentage of women getting abortions do it as a mode of birth control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:11:18 poster here. I just wanted to explain the situation a bit more. I became pregnant at the same time my friend lost her week old baby. After the attending the funeral and several weeks of phone calls (she does not live locally), she said she needed to take a break from our friendship (and some of our other mutual friends) while she re-grouped. I never took it personally, and I respected her wishes. Luckily, she found a tremendous amount of support from the loss support group at the hospital. Anyway, after a couple of months, she called me back and we were able to have a long heart-to-heart discussion. We were always friends and will always be friends, but that doesn't mean we have to talk every day, week, or month.

23:05 here. This is what should happen btwn. friends. This poster understood that her friend was in her OWN situation and dealing with her OWN difficulties. She did not expect her friend to be available immediately to "respect " her special, important, wonderful time. Her friend did not expect her to deny any joy in her pregnancy and only concentrate on the friend's loss - even though that loss is truly horrific and unimaginably, overwhelmingly awful. Life isn't convenient. We have to take people where THEY are and deal with the situation as BEST we can. You can't try to drag people, who are dealing with their own problems (regardless of whether or not you respect those problems,) forcefully into our own reality and then get pissed that they don't react OUR way. Separation for a time allowed these friends to live their own reality and then come back together when it possible for BOTH. Give people a little freedom to feel their own feelings and receive the same yourself. It's compassion and caring and it's a two-way street.

I am recently pregnant and have a very close friend who is distancing herself b/c of her own TTC difficulties (she told me this, i'm not inferring it from her behavior). Honestly, if I had a miscarriage, which is certainly possible given how early it is, I don't think I'd go to her first for support. It would just seem so lame to me to be like, oh, see, now we have more in common again! this, of course, is really too bad, because she would probably be helpful, but picking and choosing when the friendship will work just doesn't seem like the best thing for everyone. you can't do this with spouses or family, and i don't think doing it with old, close friends is right either. things might be different with less close friends.

[Anonymous]

I struggled with infertility and had to go through several rounds of infertility treatment and am now pregnant with my first baby through IVF. I tried to look at infertility as my opportunity to grow and struggle in life and when I feel the horrible urge to hate my friends that "get pregnant the first time they try" or anyone really that I meet that calls themselves "fertile myrtles," I try to remind myself that everyone has struggles in their life. Even though my friends may become pregnant easily, there will be different struggles in their life. Maybe their baby will face challenges or some day their husbands/SO may face health issues. "Everyone has struggles" has become my mantra for these times. I repeat it to myself until the resentment goes away and try to focus on the many blessings I do have in my life. Infertility is miserable and isolating, but I do think that it has made me a better, more evolved, more textured person.

[Anonymous]

That's a great post, PP. You're so right. One of my Fertile Myrtle has been going through an emotional rollercoster the past two years because BOTH her parents are fighting terminal illnesses. I may be struggling to conceive, but at least I can be grateful that my parents are healthy.

[Anonymous]

Opps, I meant "One of my Fertile Myrtle friends has been going through an emotional rollercoster . . . "