Promotion isn't what husband expected, and it's affecting home life

[Anonymous]

OP I don't think anyone knows what you mean by "contract" as those aren't enforceable and indentured servitude has been illegal for some time.

If he got more responsibility without more pay he should find a new job with a clean conscience.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would put yourself in his shoes, and ask yourself what type of support you would want. I think the real issue here is that you think you wouldn’t have made a mistake like this, when the reality is that we all make mistakes about things.

This. He thought he understood what the position entailed and what it would be like. It turned out differently. You can’t really know what something will be like until you're in it. He is probably beating himself up about that, but it's a really common thing.

I think part of OP's problem is that she did correctly identify the issues her husband is currently struggling with, so I get why she's so frustrated.

They both identified the issues. He knew it would be more work, different tasks, etc., but he didn't know exactly how it would be or how he would react to it. It's like knowing that having kids is hard, and then realizing just how exhausting a newborn is.

[Anonymous]

I think he really should see an individual therapist -- not because he's depressed, but because he's getting burned out and a therapist could help him with how to de-stress, how to hang onto the reasons why he made the move, how to keep focusing on moving from this to a better opportunity, etc.

It's completely not helpful if you are the one that is providing this advice. It's fine for him to be able to vent to you, but he needs more than that. It's completely understandable that you can't provide more; no spouse could.

He needs a professional therapist and/or career strategist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should increase your income OP, so that your DH has the option to leave his current job and find one that’s more suitable for him. There needs to be a financial cushion to give him some flexibility.

Fair!