Stepford Parents

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What are your grievances OP? You seem pretty disgruntled. Not sure who in the community you represent, but are you able to leave and go get happy somewhere else? The people you assume to be Stepford wives may just be counting down the clock and playing the game just like you and everyone else. What is really on your mind?

No grievances. Just describing what I observe.

Which school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also some of these "stepford parents" that look perfect are actually not. Do any parents at your private schools do things like marijuana, mushrooms, etc? We were recently at a party a couple weeks ago, and we saw this and were shocked.

Shocked!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are like this about everything. I went on a Caribbean weekend with a bunch of moms and I thought they’d finally loosen up and speak honestly about a few things. Nope. As we are sitting poolside with drinks they conversed about how: The school is perfect, their husbands are perfect, their children are all perfect (brilliant, athletic, popular, well behaved), their neighborhood is perfect, their entire extended families are perfect. Another lady and I had to escape because we couldn’t believe what we were hearing.

A Caribbean weekend. Seriously?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They are like this about everything. I went on a Caribbean weekend with a bunch of moms and I thought they’d finally loosen up and speak honestly about a few things. Nope. As we are sitting poolside with drinks they conversed about how: The school is perfect, their husbands are perfect, their children are all perfect (brilliant, athletic, popular, well behaved), their neighborhood is perfect, their entire extended families are perfect. Another lady and I had to escape because we couldn’t believe what we were hearing.

I would be like that now as I've learned my lesson about venting. You can complain, solve the issue and have 100 different problems over several years but people will still see you as carrying the one problem you had once upon a time in a different situation. Some people love to latch on to anything negative to label others. Those women are protecting themselves because they are in a high gossip culture.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They are like this about everything. I went on a Caribbean weekend with a bunch of moms and I thought they’d finally loosen up and speak honestly about a few things. Nope. As we are sitting poolside with drinks they conversed about how: The school is perfect, their husbands are perfect, their children are all perfect (brilliant, athletic, popular, well behaved), their neighborhood is perfect, their entire extended families are perfect. Another lady and I had to escape because we couldn’t believe what we were hearing.

I would be like that now as I've learned my lesson about venting. You can complain, solve the issue and have 100 different problems over several years but people will still see you as carrying the one problem you had once upon a time in a different situation. Some people love to latch on to anything negative to label others. Those women are protecting themselves because they are in a high gossip culture.

Poor women, protecting themselves in a Caribbean vacation. Life is hard.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Also some of these "stepford parents" that look perfect are actually not. Do any parents at your private schools do things like marijuana, mushrooms, etc? We were recently at a party a couple weeks ago, and we saw this and were shocked.

Well, the kids learn from someone…

[Anonymous]

OP, it happens at high performing publics. Other parents but more concerning the administration/teachers will flat-out say, "you're the only person who has ever said that/ had that problem". It's to isolate you from the rest

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Schools are for kids. Not parents. That's the weirdest part of the private school thing.

Ok, then send that tuition invoice and the many requests for donations to the kids. Let me know how weirdly that pans out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:1. this can happen at any school, not just private schools (speaking as a parent who has had kids in both)
2. as a reformed complainer, people don't like a complainer. If you have a concern, raise it with the person/people who can actually do something about it. Raising concerns with fellow parents will likely serve to alienate you.

This! Please don’t make your problems everybody else’s problems. Experiences and priorities are different. I don’t want to be an audience for negativity especially if you are a stranger.

[Anonymous]

I experienced Mean Girls moms not Stepford Wives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I experienced Mean Girls moms not Stepford Wives.

Yuck! That's the worst! I would take Stepford over mean girls any day of the week... sorry you had to go through that!

[Anonymous]

My DS attends a Stepford like school with a mean girl contingent. I still show up and volunteer for things even though I'm sure some grade moms are peeved that I as a URM took "Their spot." I'm not unpleasant to anyone but do my own thing. Luckily it seems easier on the boys than the girls - my DS gets along with everyone as he is a sporty, friendly, upbeat dude who does well academically.

[Anonymous]

Sounds awful OP and I hope your child is having a great experience otherwise you should get out of there. We are at a top private and I feel like I can be honest and open in sharing concerns and vulnerabilities about school and life. Pretty key part of community building IMO.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Schools are for kids. Not parents. That's the weirdest part of the private school thing.

Agree. But parents get soooo involved.

The parents are so involved with each other. Any performance or school function, it's the parents conversation drowning out the teachers and students sharing/performing. SO WEIRD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:1. this can happen at any school, not just private schools (speaking as a parent who has had kids in both)
2. as a reformed complainer, people don't like a complainer. If you have a concern, raise it with the person/people who can actually do something about it. Raising concerns with fellow parents will likely serve to alienate you.

This! Please don’t make your problems everybody else’s problems. Experiences and priorities are different. I don’t want to be an audience for negativity especially if you are a stranger.

You are reacting like a stepford parent.