Is age 9 too old for this?

[Anonymous]

Get help.

[Anonymous]

Yes, 9 is too old. My parents have a pool, and the cousins all swim together. But no one is naked past age 3 or maybe 4. Any older & it starts to feel weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a country where nudity is not really seen as a big deal. It's very common to see pre pubescent girls at the beach wearing bathing suit bottoms only. Little kids will get completely naked around others to change.

I don't necessarily see a problem with this. My biggest question is if the option for her to wear a bathing suit is there or not. If you bring one and she chooses not to wear it...that's fine. If she's just expected to be naked, that's not ok. As for the people crying "pedophilia". If Uncle Greg is attracted to his 9 year old niece, it's not going to make a difference whether she's naked or if she's covered by a thin and tight bathing suit.

Why would prepubescent girls be wearing swimsuit bottoms at the beach?

Have you ever sat naked on a pile of sand?

[Anonymous]

Way too old.

6yo boys shouldn’t be doing this either.

9yo should not be naked in front of adult men. WTF.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In Europe it used to be pretty normal for prepubescent kids to swim naked . I remember being sort of shocked when I was 7 or 8 and my mom suggested I swim in the lake with some other kids if I wanted and just go naked since I didn’t have a suit. Half the other kids my age were naked too. She was like, rules are different here.

But in America in 2026 this is considered pretty out there in terms of what’s normal. If you are unexpectedly at a pool in your Airbnb that you didn’t know you’d have, and don’t have suits for the Kids, totally fine. But to swim naked on purpose; when you know you’re gonna be swimming, and can plan on bringing a suit; is not normal past age 4

A lake is dark, you can’t see more than a foot below the surface. Not like a swimming pool.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm from a country where nudity is not really seen as a big deal. It's very common to see pre pubescent girls at the beach wearing bathing suit bottoms only. Little kids will get completely naked around others to change.

I don't necessarily see a problem with this. My biggest question is if the option for her to wear a bathing suit is there or not. If you bring one and she chooses not to wear it...that's fine. If she's just expected to be naked, that's not ok. As for the people crying "pedophilia". If Uncle Greg is attracted to his 9 year old niece, it's not going to make a difference whether she's naked or if she's covered by a thin and tight bathing suit.

If uncle Greg is a pedo and I don’t know about it, I’d rather him not see her V. He would probably take pictures too.

[Anonymous]

You all are weird. Nudity is not inherently sexual. For all the finger pointing about pedos you people sure do sexualize young girls a lot yourselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:A big problem here is that you've normalized it for all the kids but she's the oldest and right on the cusp of puberty. So whether you put her in a bathing suit now or wait until she shows signs of puberty, you are still putting her in the position of having to cover up due to her body changing. Think of the message it's going to send to her when that happens, especially when her cousins' bodies will apparently still be deemed ok to be seen.

This is why they should all be in suits every time. It's an equalizer.

Also kids in 2nd/3rd grade definitely talk about butts and penises, so having those 7 year old boys running around naked could be creating some confusion for you DD and those boys even if none of them are in puberty yet. There will come a day when it's just straight up weird that these boys are running around with their penises out around family and that day is way sooner than you or their parents seem to think.

So, OP, I think you're not going to get good answers here because American attitudes towards nudity are just different. Most families do not have extended family (beyond mom/dad/siblings) seeing kids private parts after they're potty trained. MAYBE if grandma is helping in the bath, but that's really it. It's cultural. There's nothing inherently wrong with naked cousin swimming, and my answer would be, if they don't care, don't stress about it.

BUT I think the bolded is a really good point. You're putting her in a position to be the one that puts an end to the fun, and that's asking a lot of a little kid, and it's inevitable within the next year or two. So I think it would be a kindness to your daughter to talk to your sisters and say, "Look, Larla's getting a little older, I think she might start to feel self conscious soon, what would you think about starting to put bathing suits on all the kids now?"

[Anonymous]

Yes, all of them are too old to be outside naked whether in a pool or anywhere else. My 9 year old boy would not want to be swimming with other naked people even if they were cousins/siblings.

[Anonymous]

OMG - your are all crazy for letting your 6 yr old boys and 9 year old girl being naked together. I am about as liberal as they come and I think this tradition of yours is gross. Totally unacceptable in this day and age, what are you people thinking????!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are weird. Nudity is not inherently sexual. For all the finger pointing about pedos you people sure do sexualize young girls a lot yourselves.

I am probably the most liberal mom there is. One of my age 14 DD's fave movie is Kill Bill. I'm pretty sure what I let her get away with, most would not. Even I think that OP's family tradition of naked age 6+ years kids together is psycho weird.

No - nudity is not inherently sexual but in the US, for little kids to be doing it, it's the kids that will be called out on it as a laughing stock. They will be mocked to high heaven and culturally, we do not live in the South of France where nudist beaches are an option for adults.

These are kids in crucial stages of their lives where they need to learn privacy. This does not mean being naked is bad or shameful. This does mean that there exists boundaries of what can happen in public settings.

This also has to do with a kid feeling comfortable with themselves and at age 9, a girl is definitely old enough to realize that boys and girls have different bodies and why that is - totally inappropriate to set these kids up to smooth that over. Yes, to talk about differences is to make differences and at these ages, that should be an important consideration. What they choose to do at age 18 or 21 - that's a completely separate conversation but at age 6 or 9 - that's a parental responsibility to allow them privacy over their own bodies. This is not a personality thing, a cultural thing even at this age. It's not a family decision of having manners or not. It's about psychological abuse actually. Running around naked past age 5 even with family is what people who have zero education and class do.

OP - I'll ask you back - when do you consider it too old to do? Age 12 when DD gets her period??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I feel like even 6 is too old for this. 9 isn’t even a question.

This. 3 for a girl is even pushing it IMO.

[Anonymous]

Maybe you could have next Sunday be 'Wear your favorite swim suit Day's. So it's not some big deal thing that your daughter us suddenly doing something different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You all are weird. Nudity is not inherently sexual. For all the finger pointing about pedos you people sure do sexualize young girls a lot yourselves.

100%

[Anonymous]

My 9yo wore underwear+ training bra in the pool at Grandma's recently since I guess my ex lost the bag that I packed their swimsuits in. My 7 yo son was fine in just underwear. Completely naked, now that's a bit odd i guess.