How can I help my failure to launch brother grow up?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the Air Force might not be a bad idea.

You have zero knowledge of the military like so many Americans.

Do you really think the military services want a 30 year old who has a history of drug abuse? Who is unmotivated and lazy? A person who would need to respond to orders? That he would be a good candidate? That he would be a good person to work with loading bombs on planes? Maybe work in an air traffic control tower? Or how about in a military medical facility where he has access to drugs he can pilfer?

I really really wish the 99% of American who DON'T serve would at least try to learn the basics about what it takes to actually do so.

Spare me. Some of the dumbest and laziest men and women I've ever met are vets. That said, it often does help man-children snap out of it. As long as he can pass a drug test, the Army or Marine Corps will take him.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There are a lot of people who work in restaurants their entire life. I would stop trying to get him to change.

I don't get the impression he's working at a Michelin restaurant or a bartender at a swank country club. A straight male waiter in his 30s let alone 40s at a mid-tier restaurant is very weird and frankly grim as hell. No retirement, no house, Obama-care insurance? So bleak.

[Anonymous]

Encourage him to join the military. They will help him grow up and learn some self discipline.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think the Air Force might not be a bad idea.

You have zero knowledge of the military like so many Americans.

Do you really think the military services want a 30 year old who has a history of drug abuse? Who is unmotivated and lazy? A person who would need to respond to orders? That he would be a good candidate? That he would be a good person to work with loading bombs on planes? Maybe work in an air traffic control tower? Or how about in a military medical facility where he has access to drugs he can pilfer?

I really really wish the 99% of American who DON'T serve would at least try to learn the basics about what it takes to actually do so.

Spare me. Some of the dumbest and laziest men and women I've ever met are vets. That said, it often does help man-children snap out of it. As long as he can pass a drug test, the Army or Marine Corps will take him.

How ironic. Some of the dumbest men and women I know are DCUM posters.

There is much more to joining the Army or Marine Corps than passing a drug test. Just FYI.

[Anonymous]

OP is probably the waiter.

[Anonymous]

I have 30- and 40-something losers like this in my extended family who are all licking their chops for their parents to croak to inherit free houses and large sums of money.

[Anonymous]

Can’t do anything with failure to launch adults who don’t care to manage their mental disorders.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Can’t do anything with failure to launch adults who don’t care to manage their mental disorders.

This. I have a failure-to-launch brother in his 50s. There isn't much you can do to change things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 30- and 40-something losers like this in my extended family who are all licking their chops for their parents to croak to inherit free houses and large sums of money.

Careful, your envy is showing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have 30- and 40-something losers like this in my extended family who are all licking their chops for their parents to croak to inherit free houses and large sums of money.

This was my brother. Unfortunately for him, he died first at 52.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 30- and 40-something losers like this in my extended family who are all licking their chops for their parents to croak to inherit free houses and large sums of money.

This was my brother. Unfortunately for him, he died first at 52.

Mine didn't and got everything. Sometimes the strategy works.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 30- and 40-something losers like this in my extended family who are all licking their chops for their parents to croak to inherit free houses and large sums of money.

Careful, your envy is showing.

DP. Omg just stop. Not the case here and what’s wrong with envy? Why do ppl get so bent out of shape?

[Anonymous]

Your brother sounds like he has undiagnosed inattentive ADHD, probably with some anxiety issues mixed in due to years of failure. Maybe some depression, too. The reason I sound so sure is because this is the future we are trying to avoid for our 18-year old son with inattentive ADHD. We’re doing everything we can to support his success, but this could still be him in 10 years.

[Anonymous]

You have to drop the rope and realize he isn't your kid.

You can encourage and be a resource, but in the end, he has to want to do these things and make a change. You can't make him.

Maybe he is okay with relying on other people to get by, and it is what it is. If the divorcee doesn't mind taking care of him, then it works for her.

[Anonymous]

What exactly could you do? Nothing. He's an adult. Lots of people talk about "woulda-coulda" but in the end most of them end up doing nothing. You cannot smooth out his childhood experience and you're not responsible for him. In most families there are failure to launch or barely launched siblings.