husband will not go to the doctor, even for preventive care and regular checkups

[Anonymous]

These men have the mentality that if they feel good, they are healthy. They also don’t want to have their prostrate checked. Big babies.

[Anonymous]

I am not sure if this is in your budget, but in Virginia there is Inova Concierge and they do a great job following up on needed appointments. This has really helped my workaholic DH.

[Anonymous]

Metastatic colon cancer is a horrible way to die. MIL had it. Went to liver. Agony.

[Anonymous]

41-year-old male here. I didn’t go to the doctor until my early 30s because I was afraid I might find out I had cancer or MS or something terminal. Completely insane. Eventually I went to the urgent care for something minor and complained about heartburn. They told me to get a primary care doctor to make sure it wasn’t a heart issue. That finally got me into the system, and once in I searched for a truly excellent primary care physician who referred me to some excellent specialists for dermatology and ophthalmology. Turns out I didn’t have any terminal illnesses or really any major medical issues whatsoever, but I did need to get over my fear. I do have to watch my cholesterol, and that’s about it. Now I’m very consistent about all my annual appointments and screenings.

That said, I’m shocked by the number of men I know who are my age and haven’t been to the doctor in decades. Seems insane when there are so many risk factors you can manage through regular screenings. I regularly encourage male colleagues who persistently complain about minor issues to visit the doctor so they don’t have to deal with the discomfort. One colleague finally followed my advice and as a result no longer has heartburn (and is addressing his esophageal cancer risk)!

[Anonymous]

ARE YOU MARRIED TO MY HUSBAND????

Ugh, he's the worst. I literally got him a One Medical account. It's so easy to book an appointment. It's 2 miles from his office. I don't know WTF his problem is.

[Anonymous]

My FIL died of prostate cancer that was only caught after it had metasticized. It’s not a pretty way to die.

All these people who think they will just die cleanly and quickly are living in a fantasy land.

[Anonymous]

Having had a husband with cancer in his 40s, two other surgeries in his 50s plus a depressive episode and now a series of serious health issues in his early 60s, all the while presenting to others as a super healthy runner, I would say phrase it in terms of the impact on you and any kids. I would stop trying to persuade him to do it for himself but phrase it in terms of the disappointment you feel about him not doing this for you and the potential impact it will have on you — and it will — if he has a preventable, curable condition that then leaves you holding the bag either by caring for him or financially. You need to at least try being vulnerable and challenge him on his commitment to YOU. It might or might not work but it is actually the nub of the issue.

[Anonymous]

I posted something similar like a year or two ago. It’s such a big problem.

Some men are just like this-I hardly ever hear of women like this. I am so on top of my health it’s borderline obsessive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t go to the doctor either. I would rather die early from an untreated cancer/heart attack than live a long life.

+1

You wouldn’t want to know if you had a treatable type of cancer because it was caught early? My best friend found out she had breast cancer at 44 because she got annual mammograms. Thankfully she’s still here for young kids because of preventative care. My FIL was able to treat his prostate cancer because it was caught early. It’s not like undetected cancer just kills you in your sleep. It spreads and it’s a horrible death.

[Anonymous]

At that a age, before he does go to Dr. make sure he get a life insurance policy that doesn't require testing/lab work as part of underwriting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're both in our early 50s. He won't even get a basic checkup with bloodwork, and when I've tried to convince him to just do it already, get basic bloodwork done so he at least knows his cholesterol level (he's a foodie and will enjoy foods that raise cholesterol level), he won't. When I went for a colonoscopy and said he needs to do the same thing at our age, he shrugged it off as said it's my "thing," as if he's another species and these human concerns aren't his "thing." He desperately needs a hearing test and said his hearing is just fine, doesn't see a concern, it's all on me to speak louder. Eye check? His sight is fine, that's my issue. I'm at my wit's end and have come to the conclusion he can handle his own health his way. Anyone else in the same boat?

This doesn’t sound so bad to me. My dh is a massive hypochondriac and it can be exhausting. He is always at the doctor. Every mole must be cancer. Every cold might be pneumonia. Any blood test that comes back as not totally optimal means he might need to go to the ER (even though the doctor isn’t concerned enough to reach out).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever get a life insurance policy?

Those usually require a physical including blood work

Yep, that’s why I asked about life insurance (although it could have gotten life insurance years ago).

Not employment related plans.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever get a life insurance policy?

Those usually require a physical including blood work

Lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t go to the doctor either. I would rather die early from an untreated cancer/heart attack than live a long life.

😩

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I posted something similar like a year or two ago. It’s such a big problem.

Some men are just like this-I hardly ever hear of women like this. I am so on top of my health it’s borderline obsessive.

We’re the opposite in my house.
Husband is borderline hypochondriac and does all the visits. I am great about dermatologist, but nothing else. Like almost 18y since I’ve been to GYN and longer for PCP.

I’m super healthy and unworried.