husband will not go to the doctor, even for preventive care and regular checkups

[Anonymous]

We're both in our early 50s. He won't even get a basic checkup with bloodwork, and when I've tried to convince him to just do it already, get basic bloodwork done so he at least knows his cholesterol level (he's a foodie and will enjoy foods that raise cholesterol level), he won't. When I went for a colonoscopy and said he needs to do the same thing at our age, he shrugged it off as said it's my "thing," as if he's another species and these human concerns aren't his "thing." He desperately needs a hearing test and said his hearing is just fine, doesn't see a concern, it's all on me to speak louder. Eye check? His sight is fine, that's my issue. I'm at my wit's end and have come to the conclusion he can handle his own health his way. Anyone else in the same boat?

[Anonymous]

You've said your peace. He knows he needs to go. He is choosing not to because of anxiety most likely. Men like him feel that if they don't get the tests, they can go on pretending that everything is fine.

[Anonymous]

My husband is similar but is getting a little better. He did a colonoscopy because of a horror story from a friend and got the orders for bloodwork a year ago and never went to the lab. He always says he's going to get in shape and then go. Does yours also have a terrible cardiac family history? My MIL dropped dead of a heart attack at 54 and his dad had bypass surgery at the same age.

I make sure he maxes out on the life insurance available through work. Our term policies expire in a couple of years.

[Anonymous]

It’s “not his thing” until he has a major health crisis, like a heart attack or a stroke. He may think he’ll just drop dead one day without suffering, but the reality is he could have a heart attack, a stroke, cancer, or whatever, and then it will absolutely become your problem. And if you have kids, it’ll also become their problem. Ask me how I know.

I don’t have advice for you on how to get him to see a doctor. But ask him what his expectations are if he’s not asking any preventive steps and then something bad happens.

[Anonymous]

*taking, not “asking”

[Anonymous]

My BF is like this, and honestly, I will probably break up with him over it. He said he would go to the doctor a year ago and didn't. I am a widow, and my LH wasn't proactive about his medical issues, and I don't want to go through that again. The fact that my BF knows this and still won't go is a deal breaker

[Anonymous]

It'll probably shorten the length and quality of his life, but that's a choice we all get to make for ourselves. Part of loving someone is loving them through hard times, even hard times of their own making.

[Anonymous]

I don't think he is unusual in this. You can't force him.

My DH finally started going when his best friend got prostate cancer and they were able to treat it easily because they caught it early.

[Anonymous]

Did he ever get a life insurance policy?

[Anonymous]

My DH wouldn’t go to the doctor for years. Then one time he had to go to urgent care for something minor. They found out he had high blood pressure from the usual BP check (thank goodness doctors always check that) and told him to see a primary care doctor. That scared him and now he goes to physicals regularly.

[Anonymous]

Adults get to choose what medical care they receive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're both in our early 50s. He won't even get a basic checkup with bloodwork, and when I've tried to convince him to just do it already, get basic bloodwork done so he at least knows his cholesterol level (he's a foodie and will enjoy foods that raise cholesterol level), he won't. When I went for a colonoscopy and said he needs to do the same thing at our age, he shrugged it off as said it's my "thing," as if he's another species and these human concerns aren't his "thing." He desperately needs a hearing test and said his hearing is just fine, doesn't see a concern, it's all on me to speak louder. Eye check? His sight is fine, that's my issue. I'm at my wit's end and have come to the conclusion he can handle his own health his way. Anyone else in the same boat?

Either you posted this before like a couple of weeks ago or there are a lot of men this way.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever get a life insurance policy?

Those usually require a physical including blood work

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My BF is like this, and honestly, I will probably break up with him over it. He said he would go to the doctor a year ago and didn't. I am a widow, and my LH wasn't proactive about his medical issues, and I don't want to go through that again. The fact that my BF knows this and still won't go is a deal breaker

So why is breaking up a future condition?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Did he ever get a life insurance policy?

This.
If not get some.