Reward for DD & Punishment for DS

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

What did you do about family and work obligations just a couple of years ago when your 18 year old was too young to be your stand in?

We had a close friend stay over during the nights, made sure they got ready for school in the morning, left for work, and come back at 6.

ha! Did you pay this person? What is going on with you and your spouse that you can't manage to have one of you home to take care of your own damn children?

Yes, we did. We both have different obligations, that both of us need to attend, but our kids are very responsible so are fine being home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

What did you do about family and work obligations just a couple of years ago when your 18 year old was too young to be your stand in?

We had a close friend stay over during the nights, made sure they got ready for school in the morning, left for work, and come back at 6.

ha! Did you pay this person? What is going on with you and your spouse that you can't manage to have one of you home to take care of your own damn children?

Yes, we did. We both have different obligations, that both of us need to attend, but our kids are very responsible so are fine being home.

Clearly not or you wouldn't be posting your problem here.

I know a family like this (parents go off and leave the kids all the time) and it's just bizarre behavior.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

She isn’t really responsible for actively parenting anyone, our kids aren’t young. The kids all wake up and get themselves ready for school. Our daughter either walks or drives our 11 year old to school, depending on the day and weather. After that, she comes home, gets herself ready, and the rest of the kids head out on their own. They’re all pretty independent—handling their routines, school, activities, and practices—and they’re home by evening. The teens take care of themselves and go where they need to be without much oversight. Our daughter mainly helps by taking our son to practices or a friend’s house and checking in on the teens around dinner time. For meals, she cooks one night, and the two teens—ages 14 and 15—take turns cooking on the other nights. She also makes breakfast for them every morning.
Her main role is really just keeping an eye on things during the night. We’re trying to figure out a fair way to reward her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

She isn’t really responsible for actively parenting anyone, our kids aren’t young. The kids all wake up and get themselves ready for school. Our daughter either walks or drives our 11 year old to school, depending on the day and weather. After that, she comes home, gets herself ready, and the rest of the kids head out on their own. They’re all pretty independent—handling their routines, school, activities, and practices—and they’re home by evening. The teens take care of themselves and go where they need to be without much oversight. Our daughter mainly helps by taking our son to practices or a friend’s house and checking in on the teens around dinner time. For meals, she cooks one night, and the two teens—ages 14 and 15—take turns cooking on the other nights. She also makes breakfast for them every morning.
Her main role is really just keeping an eye on things during the night. We’re trying to figure out a fair way to reward her.

I don't know why I didn't have 4 kids but this all sounds so easy breezy. Just leave her with them going forward! No trouble.

[Anonymous]

Pay her. 200 is fine.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

She isn’t really responsible for actively parenting anyone, our kids aren’t young. The kids all wake up and get themselves ready for school. Our daughter either walks or drives our 11 year old to school, depending on the day and weather. After that, she comes home, gets herself ready, and the rest of the kids head out on their own. They’re all pretty independent—handling their routines, school, activities, and practices—and they’re home by evening. The teens take care of themselves and go where they need to be without much oversight. Our daughter mainly helps by taking our son to practices or a friend’s house and checking in on the teens around dinner time. For meals, she cooks one night, and the two teens—ages 14 and 15—take turns cooking on the other nights. She also makes breakfast for them every morning.
Her main role is really just keeping an eye on things during the night. We’re trying to figure out a fair way to reward her.

This take is so insane, that I think this must be fake. To imply that doing all that in addition to being a senior in high school (or having a job, or going to college?) is easy is insane. That is so much responsibility. Good for your oldest to be up to the challenge, but seriously, pay the kid.

We don’t pay for chores or if we go out to dinner and my oldest watches the other two, but this is a whole different ball game. If you don’t see that??? I don’t know.

Honestly sounds like your 11 year old acted pretty age appropriately and your oldest handled it great. Pay her, take away his devices and call it a day. Or do none of that because this is all fake???

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

What did you do about family and work obligations just a couple of years ago when your 18 year old was too young to be your stand in?

We had a close friend stay over during the nights, made sure they got ready for school in the morning, left for work, and come back at 6.

Did you pay that person? Or are they no longer a friend after being used as free nanny?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

She isn’t really responsible for actively parenting anyone, our kids aren’t young. The kids all wake up and get themselves ready for school. Our daughter either walks or drives our 11 year old to school, depending on the day and weather. After that, she comes home, gets herself ready, and the rest of the kids head out on their own. They’re all pretty independent—handling their routines, school, activities, and practices—and they’re home by evening. The teens take care of themselves and go where they need to be without much oversight. Our daughter mainly helps by taking our son to practices or a friend’s house and checking in on the teens around dinner time. For meals, she cooks one night, and the two teens—ages 14 and 15—take turns cooking on the other nights. She also makes breakfast for them every morning.
Her main role is really just keeping an eye on things during the night. We’re trying to figure out a fair way to reward her.

They'd have to be, since they have such crap parents.

I don't even really believe you. I don't think anyone who is this absentee and disinterested in their kids would post here. Or have this many kids.

[Anonymous]

Has to be fake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

What did you do about family and work obligations just a couple of years ago when your 18 year old was too young to be your stand in?

We had a close friend stay over during the nights, made sure they got ready for school in the morning, left for work, and come back at 6.

ha! Did you pay this person? What is going on with you and your spouse that you can't manage to have one of you home to take care of your own damn children?

Yes, we did. We both have different obligations, that both of us need to attend, but our kids are very responsible so are fine being home.

You also have the same obligations, which is to parent your children, but we see you can't really be arsed to do that properly. Or at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He usually does listen to our daughter and knew what expectations were, he did fine last time we left for five days. Another problem is that since he’d spend longer on devices, he wouldn’t get up and get ready for school on time, affecting them. Our daughter took the devices away by the end so when we came back, at 3pm on day four, things were better. She wouldn’t let him get on the electronics, and he would constantly ask her about it.

Next time you leave, take his devices with you, problem solved. But why are you leaving your kids for several days multiple times? That is odd

Family and work obligations. Kids have school, so they can’t come. We don’t pay our daughter, but we do want to reward her for handling our sons misbehavior well.

You should pay her. Normally I'm in the "family just helps each outher out" camp, but you're using her to parent your kids quite a bit. That's asking a lot and she doesn't just have one slightly younger sibling to care for. Pretty bad parenting.

She isn’t really responsible for actively parenting anyone, our kids aren’t young. The kids all wake up and get themselves ready for school. Our daughter either walks or drives our 11 year old to school, depending on the day and weather. After that, she comes home, gets herself ready, and the rest of the kids head out on their own. They’re all pretty independent—handling their routines, school, activities, and practices—and they’re home by evening. The teens take care of themselves and go where they need to be without much oversight. Our daughter mainly helps by taking our son to practices or a friend’s house and checking in on the teens around dinner time. For meals, she cooks one night, and the two teens—ages 14 and 15—take turns cooking on the other nights. She also makes breakfast for them every morning.
Her main role is really just keeping an eye on things during the night. We’re trying to figure out a fair way to reward her.

This take is so insane, that I think this must be fake. To imply that doing all that in addition to being a senior in high school (or having a job, or going to college?) is easy is insane. That is so much responsibility. Good for your oldest to be up to the challenge, but seriously, pay the kid.

We don’t pay for chores or if we go out to dinner and my oldest watches the other two, but this is a whole different ball game. If you don’t see that??? I don’t know.

Honestly sounds like your 11 year old acted pretty age appropriately and your oldest handled it great. Pay her, take away his devices and call it a day. Or do none of that because this is all fake???

We’re not gone that often, and our kids aren’t toddlers so they don’t need mom and dad 24/7. They all have age appropriate levels of independence, and this isn’t really hard for my daughter at all. I had much more responsibilities at a much younger age. Kids need responsibilities. Usually, our 11 year old is well behaved, but this time he wasn’t , so we will be taking his electronics away, and trying to figure out how much to pay our daughter.

[Anonymous]

How do the other two get around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How do the other two get around?

Our 14yo carpools with neighbor freind to school, and activities. Our daughter does have to drive our 14yo to one activity. Our daughter and 15yo both attend the same school, so they go together.

[Anonymous]

How does one have four teenage and preteen kids and need to crowd-source this? Unbelievable.