Do you allow your children to use first names

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:with an adult? I taught my children to address adults as, "Mr., Ms., Mrs, or Dr." With relatives they could call them "Aunt (first name)" or "Miss (first name)" I have an acquaintance who thinks this is silly and that children should be allowed to address adults as equals. She and her 6-yr daughter were at my house yesterday and 6-yr old called me by my first name. I told her mother that this was unacceptable and she should instruct her child to address me as "Mrs. ....". She was furious and said that her child was my equal and if I didn't like it that was just too bad and she left shortly thereafter. I hadn't invited her over so I wasn't at all upset but I will also never invite her to my house. We have neighbors who are in their late 70's and both my husband and I have always addressed them as "Mr. and Mrs." and I wouldn't dream of calling them by their first name.

How many of you think it is all right for a child to call adults by their first name?

Wait, really? Don't you have other things to worry about? Jesus.

[Anonymous]

I don't find it to be a huge deal either way and wouldn't be offended either way. I also wouldn't insult or start anything with a guest over it.

IMO - the OP is overreacting and oversensitive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't find it to be a huge deal either way and wouldn't be offended either way. I also wouldn't insult or start anything with a guest over it.

IMO - the OP is overreacting and oversensitive.

YES. I want to hang out with you!

[Anonymous]

I think it's how you're raised. I still call my parents friends by their last names as I always have.

I introduce myself to children by mrs. lastname, although I am a teacher and am addressed by Ms. firstname. My children have always been taught to use mrs. lastname or Ms. firstname. It is a respect issue and adults are not their peers. It's just my opinion that adults wanting kids to call them by their first names are try to be "cool" or appear younger. Maybe this could explain the lack of respect that many kids have for authority figures these days.

When my older son turned about 19 he started calling adults by their first name (although there are still adults he addresses by aunt/uncle, or Mrs. lastname).

[Anonymous]

Haven't read any of the replies.

Can't imagine summoning as much outrage as OP over the matter, but I prefer kids to call me Miss ___ or Aunt ___ as well, and that's my son to refer to other adults. I think the issue is one of showing respect, however, this is only part of it -- I think the larger issue is that, when my son's friends are at my house, I want them to see me as the adult in charge. It's not a matter of being their "equal" or not (that's just weird semantics), but rather, the person who is making sure they behave okay, is making sure they stay safe, etc. I think titles can actually have an impact on how people view you, and calling me Miss or Aunt confers a bit of presence that just first name doesn't have.

So that's my preference, but I certainly don't storm out of houses over it!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What drives me crazy is people who feel the need to give 'aunt and uncle' titles to everyone. To me, that should be reserved for your siblings only and MAYBE your very best friend. And it makes me even crazier when people bestow the title upon themselves and make the parents feel like they have to use that title for people who are NOT their aunts and uncles. Irritates the hell out of me!

This can be very cultural. Indian/Pakistani area call everyone Auntie and Uncle. Its what they're taught.

In Brazil it's like this too.
Also when you want to offend someone or make them inferior just a little bit you call them Uncle/Auntie (like cursing when you're driving and you yell COME ONE UNCLE HURRY UP! i.e.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What drives me crazy is people who feel the need to give 'aunt and uncle' titles to everyone. To me, that should be reserved for your siblings only and MAYBE your very best friend. And it makes me even crazier when people bestow the title upon themselves and make the parents feel like they have to use that title for people who are NOT their aunts and uncles. Irritates the hell out of me!

This can be very cultural. Indian/Pakistani area call everyone Auntie and Uncle. Its what they're taught.

This. Also in many other Asian cultures. I called all of my parent's friends Aunt X or Uncle Y when I was growing up. It's definitely a cultural thing. Also, my DD calls my best friend Aunt and my BFF's kids call me and DH Aunt and Uncle.

[Anonymous]

I introduce myself as Mrs. LastName to my stepdaughter's friends. We also refer to all other adults at Mr. and Mrs. LastName when talking about them to stepdaughter.

I am flexible on how kids choose to address me though - b/c, and only b/c, my stepdaughter calls me by my FirstName, so I get why kids might not have their first instinct to continue referring to me as Mrs. LastName.

So, I don't correct them b/c I can see why it would be confusing hearing DD call me FirstName over and over, but only being introduced to me once as Mrs. LastName.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What drives me crazy is people who feel the need to give 'aunt and uncle' titles to everyone. To me, that should be reserved for your siblings only and MAYBE your very best friend. And it makes me even crazier when people bestow the title upon themselves and make the parents feel like they have to use that title for people who are NOT their aunts and uncles. Irritates the hell out of me!

This can be very cultural. Indian/Pakistani area call everyone Auntie and Uncle. Its what they're taught.

This. Also in many other Asian cultures. I called all of my parent's friends Aunt X or Uncle Y when I was growing up. It's definitely a cultural thing. Also, my DD calls my best friend Aunt and my BFF's kids call me and DH Aunt and Uncle.

Not just Indian/Pakistani either. Just another vote for using aunt/uncle for friends of the parents.

My Latina friends want DD to call them Titi as well.

[Anonymous]

When he was younger my son called our friends (mostly his friends' parents) by their first names, sometimes with a Miss/Mr. in front of it, but since he started school he and all the kids in our circle have switched to Mr./Mrs. for the most part. It just kinda happened.

[Anonymous]

I'll preface this by saying I have a 16 month old who isn't a great talker yet, so I have no idea yet what will work for our family. But, I have given this some thought and I can't figure out how you start having your child call your friends Ms. Sally when you call your friend Sally. Do I have to refer to my friends as Ms FirstName so that my toddler gets it. That's just too uncomfortable me. When does it start? I was raised to call adults Mr/Mrs LastName and hope that my children will do the same when they're older, but do my oldest friends get grandfathered in with first names because they've known us since toddler days?

[Anonymous]

I let friends' kids call me whatever they are trying to teach them, though I will say "Miss Amy" or "Mr. Steve" drives me NUTS. It is so completely annoying, I can't stand it. It makes zero sense to me. I teach DS to call people Mr LastName, Mrs LastName, or Ms IDidntTakeMyHusbandsName. Also, I just ask people what they want to be called. If they say to me son, "Call me Jessica!" I am 100% cool with that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don't find it to be a huge deal either way and wouldn't be offended either way. I also wouldn't insult or start anything with a guest over it.

IMO - the OP is overreacting and oversensitive.

OP here: I have asked child to call me Mrs. ... on may occasions and she ignores me. This time her mother was ther, both uninvited, and I quietly and calmly asked her mother to correct her child's way of addressing me. I do not think I was rude, overreacting or oversensitive.e