Concerns/Dissuading attendance at a school w/a high stress reputation (jhu, cmu, cornell, uchicago, etc)

[Anonymous]

In 2026, there is no grind school. Every school went through grade inflation. Posters still live in 20, 30 years ago. Stop operating based on outdated information.

[Anonymous]

DD was considering an ED to Swat and I nudged towards Midd because I know my kid and how much she values outdoorsy, work hard play hard fun. I also didn’t think she could go from a pressure cooker high school to a “fun goes to die” college without risking burning out. Obviously it was her choice but I shared my thoughts openly and she’s so happy at her school.

I know another child headed to Swarthmore this year and think it’s truly the perfect fit for her, it’s so dependent on the person.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:All top schools, especially the STEM majors are going to be grinds. That is just par for the course. I'm sure mechanical engineering kids at CMU, JHU, MIT etc have it just as hard as those at UMD, UVA, UMich. The latter schools dont get the 'grind' moniker because they are large and have more programs that dilute the grind factor. Yes, kids can burn out at rigorous programs and parents should be mindful of this. But, don't shy away from a school just because it expects you to work hard and you are surrounded by highly motivated students just like your DC.

I agree...major plays a huge role.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In 2026, there is no grind school. Every school went through grade inflation. Posters still live in 20, 30 years ago. Stop operating based on outdated information.

OP here: the person from cmu is a sophomore.

[Anonymous]

“Grind” culture is not the same as grade inflation, and it’s weird that people are equating the two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2026, there is no grind school. Every school went through grade inflation. Posters still live in 20, 30 years ago. Stop operating based on outdated information.

OP here: the person from cmu is a sophomore.

A single individual does not represent the entire school. Get more feedback from multiple students there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2026, there is no grind school. Every school went through grade inflation. Posters still live in 20, 30 years ago. Stop operating based on outdated information.

OP here: the person from cmu is a sophomore.

A single individual does not represent the entire school. Get more feedback from multiple students there.

Let me grab my cmu rolodex…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In 2026, there is no grind school. Every school went through grade inflation. Posters still live in 20, 30 years ago. Stop operating based on outdated information.

OP here: the person from cmu is a sophomore.

A single individual does not represent the entire school. Get more feedback from multiple students there.

There have been a number of threads here in recent years about kids who were absolutely miserable at CMU.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DD was considering an ED to Swat and I nudged towards Midd because I know my kid and how much she values outdoorsy, work hard play hard fun. I also didn’t think she could go from a pressure cooker high school to a “fun goes to die” college without risking burning out. Obviously it was her choice but I shared my thoughts openly and she’s so happy at her school.

I know another child headed to Swarthmore this year and think it’s truly the perfect fit for her, it’s so dependent on the person.

I'm so glad to hear this because I have a smart but low key outdoorsy kid heading to Midd!

[Anonymous]

kid at hopkins is doing fine

[Anonymous]

If they're smart enough to get into these schools, they're smart enough to know that they can be intense.

Kids who are bright enough to be admitted to these schools will do their own research before they even apply. Trust me they know what they are getting themselves into.

Different kinds of smarts. Being a CS whiz or physics phenom is entirely unrelated to having the self-awareness and wisdom required to anticipate how their personal experiences might play out at different colleges.

Depends on the kid, like anything else -- but when in doubt, I always go with questions. Could be really simple, like, What do you think of the campus culture? What kind of reputation does the school have?

They don't need to hear my concerns, but I feel like questions are a way of opening up space for them to think things through, should they choose to do so.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My kid got into Georgetown, and after spending some time on the Facebook parents page, I am concerned about the conditions of the dorms and quality of the food. She is waiting form some other decisions this month, so hoping she gets into one of her higher ranked choice schools...otherwise, I will have to point out these problems to my student, who would likely be appalled to learn about this information.

My kid spent time on campus for a summer program, so I heard plenty about dorms and food. Despite the reviews and the reports of the dining hall closing periodically for health code violations, my kid actually really liked the food. We had sent him stocked with snacks which he didn't really need. He said he had to figure out which line to go to (apparently not vegan) but he liked the Halal food. I think the food may have aligned with his tastes (burgers, pizza etc) but he said the burgers were cooked fresh and he was surprisingly pleased with the food. That said, this was during the summer. I have no idea how that one main dining hall accommodates all the students during the regular school year.

As for the dorms, well. He was in a first year dorm that is widely known the be the worst first year dorm. Given that, it could have been worse. It had no character, furniture was tired. But, it was clean and it didn't smell like mold and we didn't see any mold. He did hear other students talk about seeing a rat inside the dorm. He didn't see it himself.

That was the only dorm we saw. I too have read the reports of horrific housing - mold, etc. - and non responsive admin because kid was going to apply for a while. I breathed a sigh of relief when he decided not to (for other reasons).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone applying to these schools is aware and to some extent it is overblown and a bit of a flex if you will. Some thrive on that environment, I think the ones that won't will weed themselves out from even applying. I am sure there are exceptions like your child's teammate, but most are going in knowing what they are getting.

This. Most there like being at challenging schools.
Truthfully all of the ones you mentioned are not at all what they were in the 90s. They have median GPAs around 3.65-3.75 these days, similar to most elites. Sure the average student works hard just as they do at other ivies/elites. The myth that somehow Brown kids coast with no grades and never do work but Cornell students grind away is just a myth. The vast majority of those at all T15/elite schools like to study and do a hundred other things, such as research, arts, club sports, volunteering. Some people thrive on being busy and almost compete on how many hours they devote to all of the various things including classes. They still have fun.
Admitted students should visit the schools and see for themselves. Or visit before applying. One can tell a lot just by the admissions sessions and tours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:“Grind” culture is not the same as grade inflation, and it’s weird that people are equating the two.

I agree. however many parents on Dcum worry that the "grind" schools will be at such a difficult level that their dear child will not be able to get the grades they need for the next level: they mistakenly conflate work-hard culture with low grades. They will mention steering their kid away from Hopkins or similar and toward a less "grindy" school such as big southern publics or "chill" LACs, to get the high GPA for law or med thinking it will be easier than at the grindy school. It is flawed logic when you see the GPA ranges that come out of various schools side by side with the LSAT and MCAT ranges that come out of the same schools. Sure your kid might have more time to relax, party, have fun at Clemson, but when they have the 3.92 in Neuroscience and they cannot crack a 500 on the MCAT and neither can any of their 3.9 friends, it tells you all you need to know about the quality of the 3.9.
Oftentimes the elite/ivy school which ALL have some level of grind culture will result in many more options with average grades(3.7) than the easy school with above-average grades(3.9). It is not merely premeds and prelaw that have to worry. In this economy top jobs are already shifting more toward top schools. With the grade inflation, companies are having to rely more on colleges that are known for rigorous courses as well as an academically-focused student body. A student who has managed to be above-average at a top school is an impressive one, and a below-average 3.5 is good enough to be in the running.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think anyone applying to these schools is aware and to some extent it is overblown and a bit of a flex if you will. Some thrive on that environment, I think the ones that won't will weed themselves out from even applying. I am sure there are exceptions like your child's teammate, but most are going in knowing what they are getting.

This. Most there like being at challenging schools.
Truthfully all of the ones you mentioned are not at all what they were in the 90s. They have median GPAs around 3.65-3.75 these days, similar to most elites. Sure the average student works hard just as they do at other ivies/elites. The myth that somehow Brown kids coast with no grades and never do work but Cornell students grind away is just a myth. The vast majority of those at all T15/elite schools like to study and do a hundred other things, such as research, arts, club sports, volunteering. Some people thrive on being busy and almost compete on how many hours they devote to all of the various things including classes. They still have fun.
Admitted students should visit the schools and see for themselves. Or visit before applying. One can tell a lot just by the admissions sessions and tours.

Agree. Brown kids probably work harder than any of Chicago or Cornell or JHU kids, or at least just as hard. It’s a total myth. Lots of misinformation on this board.