My 10 year old wouldn't let the nurse have a finger prick at annual check up

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She needs a wild animal exposure. The rapids prophylactic vaccine series will cure her phobia. Kidding. Half kidding.

*rabies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a lesson in bodily autonomy even in the face of authority. You should support your daughter's choice. Unless she has an underlying disorder that makes regular blood work necessary, she should have the right to refuse.

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

Yeah, no. Take her to CVS/Walgreens/Walmart in the fall, around October, and get the flu shot for both her and you. It’s covered by insurance.

[Anonymous]

Being scared doesn't mean the kid doesn't listen to two adults. How was saying 'no' not scarier?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

I wouldn't have wrestled her (you're right, at 10, that's not going to work). I would have asked the nurse to give us a few minutes. Given her some time. Stay SO calm. And then I would have been straight with her. "I know you don't want this. I know it is scary. I will do whatever is in my power to make this easier on you, and so will the nurses. But we are not leaving this room until you get this procedure. You cannot let fear interfere with taking care of your health. If we have to sit here for three hours, that's what we're going to do, but you're getting this procedure here, today, so I'd recommend that you take a minute to think about what might make it easier."

Then I'd give her time. NO screens/books/distractions but if she needs time with her thoughts or to orient herself, that's fine. I would not rush her. I would offer a few things ("I have some ideas of ways we might be able to make this easier, do you want to hear them?") What if we numbed it with ice first? What if I got one first so you can watch? Or would you like to watch a video of someone getting one so you know what it will be like? Would you like to be "surprised" or would you like a clear count down? What would help? If she doesn't engage, you back off. "Okay, I'm here when you're ready" and YOU read something on your phone or stare into space. No begging, no negotiating. You are here for her, and here to help, but this is something she needs to do.

I have found that once my kids were about 5 or 6, and a few times of actually sitting somewhere for 30 mins (doesn't take long for kids to realize you're serious) they know I'm not messing around.

We gotta stay until closing? Then that's what we do. Go home, be back tomorrow morning at opening time. I can't imagine my kid lasting that long, but I'd be fully prepared to do it.

Oh, and she gets a flu shot and a covid shot every single year now. It's critical that you don't avoid these things because of her phobia, it makes it worse.

Being more stubborn and patient than your children is a really parenting hack.

[Anonymous]

It hurts, no question. But it’s so brief. How does she feel about vaccination shots? Tell her it’s less painful than that.

Give her the choice of a finger prick or a blood draw. Talk to her about why they do the finger prick. Remind her of a time when she was really sick and say this blood testing is part of keeping her healthy. Ask her what reward she wants afterward and then make that happen for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

Well, here is another good reason to do that.

She is 10 and old enough to control herself in a situation like this. She just needs practice. The less practice you let her have, the less she will be able to do it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

A lot of recommended medical care is recommended because it profits insurance companies. Did you die from not getting the *recommended* flu shot? No. I doubt your daughter will die from not getting the *recommended* finger prick. Thank your lucky stars she doesn’t have cancer and move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

A lot of recommended medical care is recommended because it profits insurance companies. Did you die from not getting the *recommended* flu shot? No. I doubt your daughter will die from not getting the *recommended* finger prick. Thank your lucky stars she doesn’t have cancer and move on.

I guess if kid won't allow bloodwork, she'll never know she has cancer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I think you’re letting too long go between needle sticks. An annual flu shot is recommended for kids this age—we get COVID vax as well. And she is due for HPV. Practice makes perfect.

Sorry, OP, but you're a bad parent if you don't get your child a flu and Covid shot every year. There is all the data you need out there to prove that humans are healthier in the short and long term if they get all their vaccines. Don't be a MAHA moron. Please trust the science.

If she has needle-phobia, you need to proactively deal with that, and either with or without a psychologist working in phobias, build up her tolerance with exposure therapy. The goal is a flu shot on Nov 1st, for example. Buy a ton of little disinfecting pads on Amazon. Every day after school, when she's having a snack she likes, rub a spot on her upper arm with a little disinfecting wipe, and touch the spot with a soft blunt pencil point (do that on the finger too). Gradually you sharpen it more and more until it's really pointy. In a few months, tell her that this is what a needle feels like. It doesn't, actually, because people can't feel the needle going in, what they mostly feel is pressure at the contact point, and the needle moving into the muscle during intramuscular injections like the flu shot. But you can't replicate that, so you make do with the "idea" of how it could feel. If you want, you can give her Tylenol 20 minutes before - it's not going to do much in terms of pain relief, since there isn't objectively any pain to speak of, but if you show her you are taking medically oriented actions, it might have a placebo effect. She will feel heard and supported.

A key point is to relax the arm muscles. Tension will bruise the muscle during the injection. So when you're using the disinfecting wipe, tell her to relax her neck, lower her shoulders and relax her arms to a resting position. You can massage and manipulate those areas with your hands to teach her how tense and relaxed feels and how she can go from one to the other. During the actual shot, she can rest her forearm on the armrest if she wants, but not flex the upper arm muscle. It will help if she doesn't look, and if you can distract her with conversation about a treat while the nurse is injecting.

When my kid was a toddler and preschooler, we literally needed a team to hold him down for the bloodwork he needed to get. He tolerated shots. As a young ten, he grew out of it and became fine with everything.

[Anonymous]

WTAF with no vaccines since 2? You have bigger things to worry about than a finger prick, OP. Ugh.

[Anonymous]

Many years ago friends daughter refused to get the HPV vaccine bc she was afraid of needles. Our daughters are now in college, guess who just got diagnosed with hpv? You need to teach kid that taking care of your health is often unpleasant, get over it.

[Anonymous]

She needs to know yes it will hurt, but by the time she's walking out of the exam room it won't hurt anymore. The pain is momentary. She needs to learn she can do scary things. THAT is how kids build confidence.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

I wouldn't have wrestled her (you're right, at 10, that's not going to work). I would have asked the nurse to give us a few minutes. Given her some time. Stay SO calm. And then I would have been straight with her. "I know you don't want this. I know it is scary. I will do whatever is in my power to make this easier on you, and so will the nurses. But we are not leaving this room until you get this procedure. You cannot let fear interfere with taking care of your health. If we have to sit here for three hours, that's what we're going to do, but you're getting this procedure here, today, so I'd recommend that you take a minute to think about what might make it easier."

Then I'd give her time. NO screens/books/distractions but if she needs time with her thoughts or to orient herself, that's fine. I would not rush her. I would offer a few things ("I have some ideas of ways we might be able to make this easier, do you want to hear them?") What if we numbed it with ice first? What if I got one first so you can watch? Or would you like to watch a video of someone getting one so you know what it will be like? Would you like to be "surprised" or would you like a clear count down? What would help? If she doesn't engage, you back off. "Okay, I'm here when you're ready" and YOU read something on your phone or stare into space. No begging, no negotiating. You are here for her, and here to help, but this is something she needs to do.

I have found that once my kids were about 5 or 6, and a few times of actually sitting somewhere for 30 mins (doesn't take long for kids to realize you're serious) they know I'm not messing around.

We gotta stay until closing? Then that's what we do. Go home, be back tomorrow morning at opening time. I can't imagine my kid lasting that long, but I'd be fully prepared to do it.

Oh, and she gets a flu shot and a covid shot every single year now. It's critical that you don't avoid these things because of her phobia, it makes it worse.

Being more stubborn and patient than your children is a really parenting hack.

I love this! Great advice for multiple situations.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Don’t you get a yearly flu shot?

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation.

A lot of recommended medical care is recommended because it profits insurance companies. Did you die from not getting the *recommended* flu shot? No. I doubt your daughter will die from not getting the *recommended* finger prick. Thank your lucky stars she doesn’t have cancer and move on.

I guess if kid won't allow bloodwork, she'll never know she has cancer.

I thought cancer typically presented with other symptoms and was then confirmed with bloodwork. Do pediatricians typically require bloodwork for routine cancer screening now?