Reply to My 10 year old wouldn't let the nurse have a finger prick at annual check up

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Don’t you get a yearly flu shot? [/quote]

OP here. No we don't get yearly flu shot. Our last appt was early spring time, so there was no point to get it. To those who suggested bribes, believe me I tried ( nothing worked). Going to the appt, I had no idea that they will do finger prick blood draw, it was a surprise to me, so we didn't talk about it, didn't prepare for it at all. To those who said to pin her down or force her. I tried and I couldn't believe how strong my child was, she literally hid her pinched hand in the sleeve of the sweatshirt and wouldn't let it out. Me and the nurse didn't want to wrestle with her. Driving back home from the appt, my daughter was still so distraught and didn't speak a word. Honestly, I felt for her. I was upset with myself that I couldn't do anything regarding this situation. [/quote]

I wouldn't have wrestled her (you're right, at 10, that's not going to work). I would have asked the nurse to give us a few minutes. Given her some time. Stay SO calm. And then I would have been straight with her. "I know you don't want this. I know it is scary. I will do whatever is in my power to make this easier on you, and so will the nurses. But we are not leaving this room until you get this procedure. You cannot let fear interfere with taking care of your health. If we have to sit here for three hours, that's what we're going to do, but you're getting this procedure here, today, so I'd recommend that you take a minute to think about what might make it easier."

Then I'd give her time. NO screens/books/distractions but if she needs time with her thoughts or to orient herself, that's fine. I would not rush her. I would offer a few things ("I have some ideas of ways we might be able to make this easier, do you want to hear them?") What if we numbed it with ice first? What if I got one first so you can watch? Or would you like to watch a video of someone getting one so you know what it will be like? Would you like to be "surprised" or would you like a clear count down? What would help? If she doesn't engage, you back off. "Okay, I'm here when you're ready" and YOU read something on your phone or stare into space. No begging, no negotiating. You are here for her, and here to help, but this is something she needs to do.

I have found that once my kids were about 5 or 6, and a few times of actually sitting somewhere for 30 mins (doesn't take long for kids to realize you're serious) they know I'm not messing around.

We gotta stay until closing? Then that's what we do. Go home, be back tomorrow morning at opening time. I can't imagine my kid lasting that long, but I'd be fully prepared to do it.

Oh, and she gets a flu shot and a covid shot every single year now. It's critical that you don't avoid these things because of her phobia, it makes it worse.

[b]Being more stubborn and patient than your children is a really parenting hack. [/b][/quote]

I love this! Great advice for multiple situations. [/quote]

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