My 10 year old wouldn't let the nurse have a finger prick at annual check up

[Anonymous]

We were at our pediatrician's office for routine 10 year check up. She needed to do finger prick for lipid panel screen. My daughter is very needle averse and the last time she got vaccine ( which was 2 years ago) it was awful. Her friend at school, who recently got finger prick at her doctor's check up, told my daughter that it has hurt a lot. So my daughter wouldn't let the office nurse do the finger prick for blood test. As soon as the nurse told us that they plan to do finger prick, my daughter's face was all in tears. We tried every reasoning with her, and nothing worked. She literally wouldn't physically allow to touch her hands and wrapped them so tight in her sweatshirt. So it wasn't done. It was so sad and embarrasing, but there was nothing I could do to convince her to do it. So they said, they will do it at 11 year check up. I am wondering how often this happens and do you have any tricks/tips to help with future finger stick blood draw.

[Anonymous]

TBH, I think you’re letting too long go between needle sticks. An annual flu shot is recommended for kids this age—we get COVID vax as well. And she is due for HPV. Practice makes perfect.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:TBH, I think you’re letting too long go between needle sticks. An annual flu shot is recommended for kids this age—we get COVID vax as well. And she is due for HPV. Practice makes perfect.

+1. You validate her fear and feelings and tell her that no one, including you, likes needles, shots, etc, but they are part of life. It is your role as her mother to teach her how to take care of her own health as she gets older and, unfortunately, this is part of that. Then move on. Don't make it a big deal, but it is an expectation. You don't "convince" her OP. You tell her.

[Anonymous]

Have it done at a children's hospital lab. We always take my daughter with autism there and they make it so much easier.

[Anonymous]

Honestly I prefer blood draws to finger pricks. But she needs to just learn to look away.

[Anonymous]

At around that same age my daughter became really needle phobic. What really helped was giving her some tools to reduce the pain.

We created a step routine:
1) ice pack on the spot
2) use this
https://amzn.to/3N0XLOJ
3) shot
4) bandaid
5) reapply ice pack.

Do any of those steps actually make it hurt less? I don’t think so. But I think it really made her feel empowered to have set steps to take to make it hurt “less”.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I prefer blood draws to finger pricks. But she needs to just learn to look away.

+1. Blood draws are way easier. Tell her to look away and bribe her with something before she does it.

[Anonymous]

DD is 11 and has a severe phobia of needles- it's come down to a bribe promise ahead of time (like a milkshake afterwards), icing the arms in advance and warning the staff that she will make a big commotion and i need two people to help hold her. She is neurodivergent but high functioning.

I relate because I used to have a needle phobia growing up and would pass out (but no external commotion)

[Anonymous]

I had needle phobia all through my childhood and into adulthood. The only thing that “cured” it was going through IVF! So many needles. Some of us are just sensitive about needles. I could not have been talked out of my phobia.

[Anonymous]

This is a lesson in bodily autonomy even in the face of authority. You should support your daughter's choice. Unless she has an underlying disorder that makes regular blood work necessary, she should have the right to refuse.

[Anonymous]

We bribe. Also, if you let the dr/lab know, they will find the best lab tech/phlebotomist. My daughter was terrified age 5 turning 6 and the nice gentleman completely distracted her asking about Valentines Day and telling her about his little girl (freshman in college) and did it all so smoothly my daughter didn’t even flinch.
We also do the shot blocker tool from Amazon for shots. The daughter is now 15 and still hates it, but will deal. With a promise to go to Sephora after.

[Anonymous]

My verbose and dramatic 8 year old held his hand in the air the entire way home convinced “ I’m bleeding out”.

[Anonymous]

Get a finger prick kit and make her watch you prick yours weekly. FFS it is no worse than a paper cut or kitchen accident.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a lesson in bodily autonomy even in the face of authority. You should support your daughter's choice. Unless she has an underlying disorder that makes regular blood work necessary, she should have the right to refuse.

Sorry, but my 10 year old is not making their own medical decisions. My kid had a massive needle phobia, and their choice would have meant no vaccinations, no blood draws to investigate symptoms, etc. Also, I can sympathize, but I'm not validating my kids making decisions out of irrational fears. I don't think that would be good parenting. We discuss things, they should understand why a procedure is being done and be able to ask questions, and they can weigh in on treatment options, I and the doctor listen and address their concerns, etc., but I am responsible for their health and I make those decisions. It's part of my job.

OP, things that helped for us: ice packs and numbing creams, bribes, and distractions. But mostly, time and maturity. They know intellectually that it's no that bad and the pain is very short in duration, but phobias are irrational. Also, they pick up on your anxiety, so whatever you can do to stay calm is good.

[Anonymous]

My kid is anxious too and worries more before the shot than during. She doesn't get a choice. We get yearly flu and Covid vaccines and she just got her HPV shot. Distracting, reminding, bribing. Lots of kudos for not freaking out. She more we do it the better she is.