Weaning almost 4-year-old

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She doesn’t need a therapist. You are going to help her process this firmly and lovingly.

She needs you to be strong, confident, and to set loving limits. You can’t let the medical trauma you both endured impact your decisions.

Tell her nursing is for babies and she is a big girl. Give her a deadline in about a week - with a physical paper calendar to mark off the days as you count down.

Then on D-Day, offer a favorite treat or a plan snuggle instead. Stay upbeat yet empathetic and do not waver or give in. Treat like any time she asks for something she cant have (another cookie, a toy at Target, whatever). If she cries, hold her if she lets you. It will be hard and then it will be over.

If it’s hard for more than a week, go away for a few days. When you come back there won’t be any milk, and she will have a new routine with just Daddy and will forget about it.

A 4 year old will slip a hand in and start undoing a bra. Then it turns into a physical power struggle.

DAD needs to hold her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You are getting a lot of reasonable responses on this thread that will help you, but honestly, it is a form of sexual abuse to invite a child who can also happily make a sandwich or ride a two-wheeler, to open your shirt and suck on your breast.

It's not beautiful anymore, it's ick.

Chock full of nuts jingle: DCUM daily B in your cup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My nephew was 2, but he was a bit tantrummy about weaning so what they did was my brother (who does remote IT work) took him to stay with my parents for a couple weeks.

IMO stubborn extended nurser is often the result of velcro baby and clueless dad is who only too happy for mom's ( o )( o ) to be the final solution to every fussy baby problem which is why dad needs to be the one to fix this problem. Also, at this point, mom deserves a ---- break.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a mom who was exhausted still night feeding a 2.5 year old who is restricted eater, while struggling with anemia I sympathize. I think the best thing for you both is for you to find a trusted caregiver (spouse, grandparent, night nurse) and go away for three days. The truth is you need healing probably even more than she does and she needs a fresh start with someone who doesn’t share the trauma bond. I did it and it worked for us. Good luck.

Hard agree. Somebody other than mom needs to take control of this.

Telling mom she needs to cut back the sessions, tell the kid no, comfort the kid --- at this point she has already done that 10,000 times and she deserved a break from this over 2 years ago