Weaning almost 4-year-old
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Anonymous
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Don’t @ me this wasn’t in my plan but a lot happened within the past few years and I got lazy/overwhelmed with a chronically sick kiddo. She’s fine now.
We night weened at 2.5 but she still nursed in the am, after daycare and before bed. My goal is to stop this month as she’s about to turn 4. At this point it’s such a highly emotional topic I am deeply considering putting her in therapy to navigate the changes. Any mention of weening has her actively depressed and very upset. For clarification she was very sick between 18-36 months and at times her only calorie intake was breastmilk. She is 100% physically fine now but still has lingering medical trauma. |
Anonymous
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I’d get yourself some therapy, stat. I’m no psychologist but labeling an 18 month old as “depressed” is not healthy behavior on your part.
Learning new skills is hard - but you need to help your DC learn to wean. And you need to be in a stable place mentally / emotionally to support this process. Wishing you strength and good health for your DC! |
Anonymous
You’ve never had a child spend 24/7 in a hospital. I have seen a weekly therapist for over a decade. |
Anonymous
| What does she do if you refuse her? If she’s abusive or bites you will need support and someone to help separate you two and deal with the melee |
Anonymous
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She doesn’t need a therapist. You are going to help her process this firmly and lovingly.
She needs you to be strong, confident, and to set loving limits. You can’t let the medical trauma you both endured impact your decisions. Tell her nursing is for babies and she is a big girl. Give her a deadline in about a week - with a physical paper calendar to mark off the days as you count down. Then on D-Day, offer a favorite treat or a plan snuggle instead. Stay upbeat yet empathetic and do not waver or give in. Treat like any time she asks for something she cant have (another cookie, a toy at Target, whatever). If she cries, hold her if she lets you. It will be hard and then it will be over. If it’s hard for more than a week, go away for a few days. When you come back there won’t be any milk, and she will have a new routine with just Daddy and will forget about it. |
Anonymous
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Dd weaned at 18months so I know this is different but she didn’t want to either and here’s what we did. We bought dd a new stuffy that she picked out and any time she asked for milk we just handed her the stuffy. Keep saying I love you but it’s all gone and keep smiling but don’t harp on it; keep her out of the house and distracted and tire her out! You think she’ll be upset forever but she won’t. Her life will be filled with changes and things that upset her, you can’t avoid those; all you can do is give her the tools to handle disappointment and be resilient. Some kids are harder than others but that just means you need to work harder not that you should accomodate for longer.
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Anonymous
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“Now that you are 4 there is no more nursinf time”
It’s not that hard. But, he will have to be prepared for tantrums. She’s four plenty old enough to understand. |
Anonymous
| Wear shirts that she can’t open |
Anonymous
OP this is not the forum for this question. There are very few extended nursing experiences on here. I would look into James McKenna weaning. Have you implemented dont offer dont refuse for a few months at minimum? Have you started limiting duration of nursing? I would not do cold turkey. |
Anonymous
| My nephew was 2, but he was a bit tantrummy about weaning so what they did was my brother (who does remote IT work) took him to stay with my parents for a couple weeks. |
Anonymous
| Sort of crazy, but I just weaned my dd at 4. I just thought she'd stop on her own, but she never did. About 2 months before I started telling her that 4 year olds don't nurse and that she was going to be a big kid soon. I nursed her for the last time on her birthday and then said no after. She definitely cried, but dh did more of bed time. After a few days it was nbd. |
Anonymous
| Get some books about weaning. Make 4 year old the absolute cut off so she knows it's coming. Start cutting back to where it's just once every other day and even less before the date comes and it won't be so hard. Give prizes every day she goes without. It's hard, but I know you both can do this. I weaned my kiddo completely at 3.5 and this is what we did. 4 is a big birthday so you can definitely talk about the big kid stuff ahead and get a great present for being all done with breast feeding. Good luck! |
Anonymous
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OP, I have the perfect way to wean your daughter. Offer her a reward for every time she doesn't nurse. A little treat that she enjoys. For every day that she goes without nursing, you take her out to get an ice cream.
That worked for someone I know. |
Anonymous
| I nursed all 4 of my kids until they were 2/2.5, but my last didn’t stop til after she turned 4. I started snuggling her instead and would offer her milk in a sippy cup. When she asked to nurse, I would just give her a gentle but firm no and reassure that I loved her so much but it was time to only drink milk. She still asked for a few months but it definitely tapered off. Nursing is such a sweet and precious time in both of our lives, so it was bittersweet to see it end. |
Anonymous
+1 |