| I think people without close friends but a large social circle can be healthy and normal. Like, having acquaintances, casual buddies/girlfriends, coworkers, associates and the like but no BFF(s) dynamic. But not being interested in a social circle at all is a red flag. |
| I don’t have a ton of friends and the ones I have I see rarely. It’s because I have adhd and don’t have the bandwidth to keep up with them while raising 2 kids in midlife. I am always a freaking great romantic partner, though. |
Many of us were raised without support from parents so we learned to never ask for help. What happened was I moved away from my college town and then my friends moved away from DC. What also happened was I got married and most of my friends used to be male. |
My widowed mom had briefly dated a guy who was very much aiming to date someone who doesn’t have any friends so he could be the center of her attention. But of course he didn’t state it this way, and was blabbing about avoiding drama and bad influence. Mom was out of there fast. |
This is a unicorn |
| Some people can only socialize as part of a couple. I don't think it means anything if she doesn't have friends. |
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I guess I don't understand if you were so independent. You got married? You weren't that independent |
I am another unicorn only been in one relationship. I'm 40 very close with family. Second generation immigrant very attractive. Currently have a boyfriend who is 37 but I get hit on by 20 somethings all the time |
Age and occupation preferences? Income? |
Are you me? |
PP said she never asks for help, not that she's independent. Also, a person can not like relying on others for social support but still want sex, romance, kids, and the financial advantages of marriage. Also, as someone like PP, I have always struggled with the emotional intimacy of female friendships, but not with the low emotional demand of friendships with men. I'm more emotionally intimate with my husband, but it still feels like less effort and pressure than close female friendships, which I personally find stifling. |
Gonna’ have to agree. |
| I def. think it’s an issue. I married my husband and noted that he had a few friends (from college) and maybe one friend in the area. I assumed it was because he was not from here. Turns out he coyld not make friends which ai ultimately realized was tied to his personality - boring, lacking social skills and unfriendly. It has been a huge issue in our marriage. The only friends we have are through me. I always feel guilty doing things with my girlfriends alone. It turns out child adopted his personality so they have no friends either. I feel like I am hanging out with people I don’t like just so I can get invites to places and have some social life. If having friends is important to you then I would cut her lose.. |
I do socialize.. when we see other. I don’t go out of my way to plan things. If we’re hiring we toss it out vs. My issue often times w lots of friends comes the BS , the comparisons the non stop dumping. I don’t need friends to get anything accomplished or if I need help. I’m also an only child so I think some of that stems from that as well. |