SAHM experiences?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think one of the pitfalls is the mom becomes more and more immersed in SN parenting and starts basically doing it solo and the dad checks out more and more because he doesn't understand all the therapies and terms and such and doesn't really want to be an expert on it anyway. So you kind of grow apart.

Financially how is this if your child may need support in adulthood?

I posted above about being home for several years and then returning to a flexible job. This has definitely been an issue for us. I know more about autism and have stronger relationships with our providers, so all the decision making falls on me. It's definitely a source of resentment.

Or the dad checks out of the information flow and stops researching, but still wants to have decisionmaking power anyway, based on his gut instincts and general vibes. Also annoying. The nice thing about both working is it can force the dad to carry more of the SN load so he doesn't wander away from it. Because once he's out of it, he'll be very defensive about that.

DP. My husband is already completely checked out of our child’s special needs. And now it seems our youngest may also have special needs as well. I am considering leaving my job because I already manage everything for our three kids - special needs and non - and it’s unsustainable with working full time, especially with RTO.

So OP it depends how involved you are in your child’s care. I’m the one researching therapies, scheduling them, coordinating them, attending the sessions (sometimes grandparents take my kid during work hours), talking to teachers, schools, psychologists, prepping for IEP meetings, attending the IEP meetings and I am the point of contact for every stressful communication that comes in from school. Some might say my husband is at fault for not taking on more of this. And maybe that’s true, but the reality is also that someone needs to be fully invested in their career to earn money for all of this. On a practical level my husband is never going to be in charge of navigating our children’s special needs. So if that’s also the case in your marriage, I suggest you support your wife’s departure from the workforce and make sure she also has a reprieve at home.