Tinder situation…normal?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Maybe this should be in the relationship forum, but it’s really more about sketchy behavior than actual relationships.

My good friend is divorced and started using Tinder a few years ago. There were two guys she got really involved with who had some things in common with each other. Neither of them live in the city she lives in. One was traveling for work to her city. The other was just passing through and apparently matched with her by proximity. They are both kinda the loner type and don’t have a lot of friends or people around them. They both took her on multiple big vacations right away. Within weeks of meeting. Yes, she was an absolute idiot to go on these trips, but that’s another story. They both have a lot of money. Both have military background. Neither of them have any online presence at all. She was only seeing the first guy for a couple of months. She's still with the second one, although they have been off and on. She has met some of his family.

Idk, it just seems so very strange that the situations were so similar. It just made me wonder if this is some sort of common scam on these dating apps..? Has anyone ever heard of something like that?

Also, any pointers on how to research someone online if they don’t have much of an online presence?

How is it a scam? On dating apps the top men do extremely well. Seems these two have money, looks, a personality and will take you on a nice trip. Let’s be real. These two men most likely have a lot of women chasing them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:She’s going to wind up dead.

Every single one of us is going to end up dead, pp. We're all destined to be worm food.

[Anonymous]

These military men don't tend to have a social media presence. But if they're in certain fields, you can usually confirm they are who they say they are and track them pretty easily. A friend met a Navy officer who made himself sound like a big deal. Turned out he was. The military has a whole media shop that documents their various rituals like turning over command of a ship every so often, or returning to shore after a big tour of Africa or whatever. Once you have the person's full name, you can do a Google search for John Smith US Navy Admiral or whatever and you'll find pictures and articles in their trade press. And that will give you info about where they were stationed so that you can check whether he was indeed the owner of a condo in San Diego during the pandemic, as he claims. And from that, you'll find out if there is a woman currently on the deed/property taxes, which tells you he's married. Lots of the online search tools will provide a list of associates and relatives that can also be used to confirm things.

[Anonymous]

Op, are you jealous? how is your dating life and how often sex?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There were two guys ... Neither of them live in the city she lives in. ... both kinda the loner type .... They both took her on multiple big vacations right away. ... They both have a lot of money. Both have military background.

This is a common scam among rich men. They wine and dine women, give them gifts, and take them on vacations to seduce them. Some even marry and impregnate the victim. Naive women think these men are just friends until they are trapped with bratty kids for 18+ years. My father did this to my poor mother.

Beware of red flags like being rich, spending money on travel, and having a legitimate career. Instead, seek hippies and baristas who frugally budget their money for drugs.

Seriously, loners in male-dominated careers like military are more likely to use Tinder. The only real issue is meeting travelers who are also dating people in other cities. She needs to visit them and count the number of shampoos in their shower.