NPD or something else?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This whole thread is very intriguing! It’s also the reason why I don’t often post her for advice. I completely understand your concerns OP. And I have no idea why some of the people on here are so defensive. Maybe they’ve been told that they are narcissists and they don’t like the label?

I’m in your exact same situation, ex with signs of NPD and family history, an older kid who’s just fine and a younger kid that i worry about. I just keep telling myself that brain development is nowhere near complete at 15 and things will improve… and that having at least one parent with empathy and some degree of concern with others will be enough to guide the kids. It’s the best you can do and teens are way too selfish to expect better than you’re getting right now

Someone, or people or whatever are actively trying to ruin this website. The posts have been off the wall.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound abnormal. Some kids are just like that. You don’t just inherit a personality trait, why are you blaming your ex? did he have a big part of raising her and where were you? Lastly, long term live in partner? Most teens are not to keen on their parent shacking up with someone other than their own parent. Give her some space. My DH is also a narcissist but my kids are very empathetic so I don’t think you can just blame your ex. Talk to her about being more likeable and what changes you’d like to see and help her work on them.

Well, I totally disagree. This seems abnormal to me. Gaging and judging other for what they can do for her is 100% narcissistic behavior. Also not being empathetic or caring to anyone but maybe a few friends is concerning.

OP: "She is in therapy for anxiety and depression." Have you talked to her therapist? I would book a session yourself or call to discuss your concerns directly to the therapist. Explain why and give her examples of what she's doing or how she acts. I think this needs attention right now while there maybe time to correct some of this if at all possible.

I'm sorry, but did you read the OP? She's herself judging everybody, her kids, her ex. Only she and her "live-in" partner are perfect. In addition to judging, she's also diagnosing the ex and the kids. She also thinks that her "live-in" partner has a right to smother her DD and she has to take it whether she likes it or not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound abnormal. Some kids are just like that. You don’t just inherit a personality trait, why are you blaming your ex? did he have a big part of raising her and where were you? Lastly, long term live in partner? Most teens are not to keen on their parent shacking up with someone other than their own parent. Give her some space. My DH is also a narcissist but my kids are very empathetic so I don’t think you can just blame your ex. Talk to her about being more likeable and what changes you’d like to see and help her work on them.

Well, I totally disagree. This seems abnormal to me. Gaging and judging other for what they can do for her is 100% narcissistic behavior. Also not being empathetic or caring to anyone but maybe a few friends is concerning.

OP: "She is in therapy for anxiety and depression." Have you talked to her therapist? I would book a session yourself or call to discuss your concerns directly to the therapist. Explain why and give her examples of what she's doing or how she acts. I think this needs attention right now while there maybe time to correct some of this if at all possible.

I'm sorry, but did you read the OP? She's herself judging everybody, her kids, her ex. Only she and her "live-in" partner are perfect. In addition to judging, she's also diagnosing the ex and the kids. She also thinks that her "live-in" partner has a right to smother her DD and she has to take it whether she likes it or not.

You are unwell.

In your mind maybe she "judged" the ex by calling him a narcissist but how do you know he's not? Where else did she "judge everybody" and call herself and live-in partner "perfect." Where did she say she's on with her child being "smothered?" You sound insane.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound abnormal. Some kids are just like that. You don’t just inherit a personality trait, why are you blaming your ex? did he have a big part of raising her and where were you? Lastly, long term live in partner? Most teens are not to keen on their parent shacking up with someone other than their own parent. Give her some space. My DH is also a narcissist but my kids are very empathetic so I don’t think you can just blame your ex. Talk to her about being more likeable and what changes you’d like to see and help her work on them.

Well, I totally disagree. This seems abnormal to me. Gaging and judging other for what they can do for her is 100% narcissistic behavior. Also not being empathetic or caring to anyone but maybe a few friends is concerning.

OP: "She is in therapy for anxiety and depression." Have you talked to her therapist? I would book a session yourself or call to discuss your concerns directly to the therapist. Explain why and give her examples of what she's doing or how she acts. I think this needs attention right now while there maybe time to correct some of this if at all possible.

I'm sorry, but did you read the OP? She's herself judging everybody, her kids, her ex. Only she and her "live-in" partner are perfect. In addition to judging, she's also diagnosing the ex and the kids. She also thinks that her "live-in" partner has a right to smother her DD and she has to take it whether she likes it or not.

You are unwell.

In your mind maybe she "judged" the ex by calling him a narcissist but how do you know he's not? Where else did she "judge everybody" and call herself and live-in partner "perfect." Where did she say she's on with her child being "smothered?" You sound insane.

Ex so-called narcissist -- not diagnosed by medical professionals.
"This is especially hard on my long term live-in partner, who shows interest in her and tries to engage but doesn’t get anywhere." -- DD does not want to engage with her "live-in" partner and doesn't have to. The fact that it's "especially hard" on him shows that he's persistent. Why would a teenager minding her own business be "especially hard" on a grown man?
Since her kids and ex are NPD in her opinion, then she and the new partner are not, no?
Calm down. Calling names is a form of judging which you're doing now. Are you the OP?

[Anonymous]

umm i think they don't diagnose teens with a lot of things b/c it would all be positive. It will get better in a few years OP.

[Anonymous]

Has she had a neuropsych evaluation? That is where I would start. Sounds like ADHD or autism and your husband probably had/has it too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It doesn’t sound abnormal. Some kids are just like that. You don’t just inherit a personality trait, why are you blaming your ex? did he have a big part of raising her and where were you? Lastly, long term live in partner? Most teens are not to keen on their parent shacking up with someone other than their own parent. Give her some space. My DH is also a narcissist but my kids are very empathetic so I don’t think you can just blame your ex. Talk to her about being more likeable and what changes you’d like to see and help her work on them.

Well, I totally disagree. This seems abnormal to me. Gaging and judging other for what they can do for her is 100% narcissistic behavior. Also not being empathetic or caring to anyone but maybe a few friends is concerning.

OP: "She is in therapy for anxiety and depression." Have you talked to her therapist? I would book a session yourself or call to discuss your concerns directly to the therapist. Explain why and give her examples of what she's doing or how she acts. I think this needs attention right now while there maybe time to correct some of this if at all possible.

I'm sorry, but did you read the OP? She's herself judging everybody, her kids, her ex. Only she and her "live-in" partner are perfect. In addition to judging, she's also diagnosing the ex and the kids. She also thinks that her "live-in" partner has a right to smother her DD and she has to take it whether she likes it or not.

You are unwell.

In your mind maybe she "judged" the ex by calling him a narcissist but how do you know he's not? Where else did she "judge everybody" and call herself and live-in partner "perfect." Where did she say she's on with her child being "smothered?" You sound insane.

Ex so-called narcissist -- not diagnosed by medical professionals.
"This is especially hard on my long term live-in partner, who shows interest in her and tries to engage but doesn’t get anywhere." -- DD does not want to engage with her "live-in" partner and doesn't have to. The fact that it's "especially hard" on him shows that he's persistent. Why would a teenager minding her own business be "especially hard" on a grown man?
Since her kids and ex are NPD in her opinion, then she and the new partner are not, no?
Calm down. Calling names is a form of judging which you're doing now. Are you the OP?

DP. You are making some huge assumptions and sound unhinged. Like really.