Celebrating Some Employees Birthdays But Not Others

[Anonymous]

Managers should have a policy. A consistent policy that err on the side of not much being done at the office. Not allowed.

That way, if someone doesn't want their birthday celebrated, there is not much difference.

But that's not WHY the policy. The WHY is because it's a place of business, it's not a place for parties.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:report this anonymously to HR

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's probably friends who are coworkers celebrating. Not company sanctioned.

If it's at work, using a conference room of the kitchen or something, and people are expected to take a break from work to participate, it's company sanctioned whether official or not.

If some people in the office are friends and want to celebrate each other's birthdays, it's very easy to just do that after work. I can't imagine thinking you could take up company time and facilities to do this and then think you could get away with just doing it for some people and not others. Idiotic.

Some people are crazy entitled.

[Anonymous]

As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

Either you made this up or this is so stupid!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

Either you made this up or this is so stupid!

Am PP. It's called creative problem solving!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a fed these things bother me. My employees make just about the same amount as me, but it’s always managers who have to pay for things like this. A few times I did a nice Costco sheet cake but then other employees told me they wanted Nothing Bundt Cakes or other brand name ones. I just don’t have time or budget to do this. And then half the employees complain about having to celebrate.

I was at an office like this. Entitled employee made a big deal about how he hated cake (from a nice bakery near the office) but would appreciate some very expensive cookies (think Crumbl) that someone had to go out of their way to procure.

[Anonymous]

It gets tricky when you have a big office with multiple departments and teams. Some teams go all out for birthdays, etc. and others just don’t.

It is what it is.

Personally, I wish people didn’t celebrate such things at work. It’s different post covid with hybrid and remote staff.

[Anonymous]

Who specifically is organizing the celebrations? And why does it bother you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

Either you made this up or this is so stupid!

Am PP. It's called creative problem solving!

It's called birthday rape.

[Anonymous]

As a manager, I get that all of this is a pain and not something that most managers want to manage, much less try to fill in all the holes left between what the company will pay for and what employees expect, and between those who want celebrations and those who don't. But have a uniform policy that people can put their birthdays on a calendar and those that do will be recognized in some way on that day, which is paid for by the employer, and anything else that people want to do is outside of work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is ridiculous to celebrate birthday at work place. Birthday celebrations should be with family and friends.

This!

To appease the people who do like to celebrate, I think the celebrate everyone who has a birthday each month works great. At a normal monthly staff meeting or once a month we have a cake with everyone whose birthdays are that month's name on it.

Once your group is over a certain size it can just be ridiculous with all of the individual birthday celebrations.

[Anonymous]

I have a women who is EXTREMELY antisocial. She suggested we give people off on their birthday so they can celebrate with people they actually care about.

So I take the bait I told her HR is considering that. But then you have to tell us your birthday to take off that day.

She got mad and said is should be floating extra day off as we should not have to share birthday info.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

Either you made this up or this is so stupid!

Am PP. It's called creative problem solving!

It's called birthday rape.

No and turning any family pictures on their desk facedown for the day is only temporary, but it sends a message: Back Off.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a manager I faced the challenge of some people not wanting to divulge their birthday or have it celebrated, while other people wanted to be celebrated and were happy to say what their birthday was. What I ended up doing was for anyone who said what their birthday was, I took all those "known" birthdays and assigned them to people who had not or would not share their birthday. So if Employee X said their birthday was, say, October 9th but Employee Y said "Oh, I'm fine, no need to celebrate my birthday" then I assigned October 9th to Employee Y and we celebrated their birthday on that date, whether they liked it or not, lol. Then we'd celebrate Employee X's birthday, remotely and virtually, on the next weekend -- virtual as in no in-person celebration but sending a supportive email with "exploding" confetti and happy-birthday message. These virtual celebrations sent a message to the celebrate-me! people that they needed to Slow Their Roll if they wanted to fit in. If they had family pictures their desk, we'd turn them face down for that day. More importantly, by celebrating the assigned birthdays of the people who declined, they got a very clear message: You matter.

Either you made this up or this is so stupid!

Am PP. It's called creative problem solving!

It's called birthday rape.

No and turning any family pictures on their desk facedown for the day is only temporary, but it sends a message: Back Off.

Wut