Celebrating Some Employees Birthdays But Not Others

[Anonymous]

It's probably friends who are coworkers celebrating. Not company sanctioned.

[Anonymous]

I was allowed in my budget on a staff birthday to buy lunch or bring in breakfast whole dept. we book Board room or big conference room. We let birthday person pick restaurants. Was nice to have lunch all together.

It got awkward a bit when staff went remote three days a week. Then newer staff are pretty antisocial so a lot of new ones don’t share birthdays. I think it was partial we were 5 days a week in person zero remote and staff really knew each other and often friends each other.

The newer staff come in twice a week like it is torture and take a short lunch and run out door and there are no set in office days.

So last summer we canceled then, this year we are canceling milestone anniversary lunches. We used to do them 10, 15, 20 years etc, same problem. Now it is dead. Kinda sad.

[Anonymous]

It is ridiculous to celebrate birthday at work place. Birthday celebrations should be with family and friends.

[Anonymous]

Oh dear, this reminds me of a workplace I was at in the mid-2000s. Same exact situation OP. I was one of the ones left out. So many mean girls in that office. I just ended up ignoring it, and eventually I found another job and quit. Looking back at what went on in that office, none of that stuff would fly these days. It's no wonder they eventually went out of business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I was allowed in my budget on a staff birthday to buy lunch or bring in breakfast whole dept. we book Board room or big conference room. We let birthday person pick restaurants. Was nice to have lunch all together.

It got awkward a bit when staff went remote three days a week. Then newer staff are pretty antisocial so a lot of new ones don’t share birthdays. I think it was partial we were 5 days a week in person zero remote and staff really knew each other and often friends each other.

The newer staff come in twice a week like it is torture and take a short lunch and run out door and there are no set in office days.

So last summer we canceled then, this year we are canceling milestone anniversary lunches. We used to do them 10, 15, 20 years etc, same problem. Now it is dead. Kinda sad.

You could just take out the person or get them a gift card or cake.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a manager this is so hard. Half of the people won’t tell us their birthdays and the other half loves to celebrate.

It’s often hard keeping both introverts and extroverts happy and making sure there’s nice middle ground.

I’m an introvert but cake is actually my favorite food. I’d want a cake but wouldn’t want people to approach me about my birthday

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is ridiculous to celebrate birthday at work place. Birthday celebrations should be with family and friends.

We used to do cake for all birthdays in our small office of 16 people and it was nice. Fed office so people would chip in $20 a year and it would cover all the birthdays (we just did a small cake at an otherwise scheduled monthly staff meeting). The workload was less then and a lot of people had been there decades and knew each other very well. Also a good way for the newer folks like me to get to know people. Then the lady who ran it retired and no one else stepped up, and then covid came, and we had a wave of retirements, and now we are down to 11 people doing the work of 16 so no one has time for anything like that. And honestly I'm fine with that too. But I do sometimes look back with nostalgia at what seems like a different era!

[Anonymous]

Honestly, I bet who gets a birthday celebration is a reflection of who is willing to do the work to plan and organize it. The “it” people likely have friends who are willing to do the work.

My last office didn’t celebrate birthdays, but we did celebrate relatively rare milestones like weddings and babies, and had occasional office parties. I planned most gatherings until I became a supervisor (because supervisors couldn’t solicit contributions from the people they supervise). When I did it, everyone got parties. When I wasn’t able to do it, no one else wanted to take on the responsibility unless it was for a friend. I had to assign/harass/harangue people to throw parties for others. (For the record, I would have never agreed to throw individual birthday parties for people - it’s a lot of work if your team is more than a couple of people.)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is ridiculous to celebrate birthday at work place. Birthday celebrations should be with family and friends.

Most people don’t have that. Which is a different issue. My kids are grown and don’t live at home. Yes my wife makes dinner and gets a cake.

But we used to do 7-8 of us company paid lunch, we order Capital Grill type nice places, get dessert and we spend an hour together chatting. Out dept was around 8 so around every six weeks. No one on our team has anyone to celebrate with like that.

We stopped last year. It is either all or nothing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Oh dear, this reminds me of a workplace I was at in the mid-2000s. Same exact situation OP. I was one of the ones left out. So many mean girls in that office. I just ended up ignoring it, and eventually I found another job and quit. Looking back at what went on in that office, none of that stuff would fly these days. It's no wonder they eventually went out of business.

Me, too! I was left out a few times. The organizer was the office manager who kept the office calendar and so the birthdays were on them but only a couple people were "forgotten" throughout the year. Everyone else got cake or doughnuts at a little happy hour the last half hour of the workday. We'd circulate a birthday card for everyone to sign. On my birthday I would get a staff meeting that I thought would turn out to be the happy hour but no, it was just a staff meeting.

If I were that office manager now, I'd just switch it up and do a monthly happy hour for everyone. Maybe let that month's birthday people choose what the treat was.

[Anonymous]

I worked at a large company that did "month" birthdays. Celebrating Februrary birthdays. Come have cake if you want. I think somebody did do the work by getting and expensing the cake. They'd send out an email of people who had shared their birthdays, so Jan the popular girl was on the same list as Meg the "unpopular" introvert, and Greg wasn't even on the list because he hates all your shizz and DGAF.

[Anonymous]

Pre-covid my office did a monthly cake party for all the birthdays that month. One of the secretaries picked it up at costco and I believe the managers chipped it and paid for it. It was fun and low stress. Anything more seems a little unprofessional.

[Anonymous]

Get well, get well soon, we wish you to get well…

[Anonymous]

As a fed these things bother me. My employees make just about the same amount as me, but it’s always managers who have to pay for things like this. A few times I did a nice Costco sheet cake but then other employees told me they wanted Nothing Bundt Cakes or other brand name ones. I just don’t have time or budget to do this. And then half the employees complain about having to celebrate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a manager this is so hard. Half of the people won’t tell us their birthdays and the other half loves to celebrate.

It’s often hard keeping both introverts and extroverts happy and making sure there’s nice middle ground.

I’m an introvert but cake is actually my favorite food. I’d want a cake but wouldn’t want people to approach me about my birthday

So you aren’t willing to share your birthday cake or let others know why there’s cake? You want the manager to just buy you a cake just for you to take home?